Disgusting male. Gives me the hives.
Posted on 06/20/2004 3:58:55 PM PDT by Nasty McPhilthy
June 15, 2004
Ted Kennedy and the Temple of Booze Dustin M. Hawkins
Before I really start, I just want to give a heads up to this weeks inspiration. Earlier I received an e-mail from a reader whose letter contained far too many expletives for me to re-produce here. Unbearably upset by past unfavorable references towards this weeks subject, the reader who will remain totally anonymous (Don G. from Pennsylvania), insisted I never speak about Ted Kennedy again. I was going to stop at just one mention of him in this weeks column, but not being one for small-scale productions I just couldn't control myself. So here is to you, Don from Pennsylvania, and to you, Ted. Cheers.
In the 1960's, the Kennedy family had everything going for them. John was President and Robert was Attorney General. Then there was Ted, or as he was known in the 1970's: "the one who wasn't assassinated." Ted Kennedy's documented reputation of integrity and sobriety began as a youth while attending Harvard, from whence he was quickly expelled for cheating. (But don't worry the high standards allowed him to be re-admitted two short years later.) Ushered in for a second time, a "legacy" claim allowed this C-student access to Harvard in the first place. And I know that last part sounds familiar, but at least George W. Bush was able to be an average student on his own.
He would eventually graduate from the Ivy League and head to law school, where he would use his knowledge gained there to make very bad laws in the future. His political career would take off almost a decade later though, when his big brother became president and thus vacated his Massachusetts Senate seat. Nothing would stop Ted from becoming a lifer in the Senate (though he did run for President in 1980 when he realized Jimmy Carter disliked dry vodka martinis.)
But not long before not becoming President, Ted was already given a second pass. By this I refer to the infamous Chappaquiddick accident. According to his own version of events, after flying his car off a bridge and into a pond, he attempted on many occasions to save the other passenger, Mary Kopechne. Though many unsuccessful tries at rescuing her failed, he came to his senses and immediately notified the police... over nine hours later (and after the car had already been reported to and subsequently found by the police). Luckily, half a day was just enough time for Kennedy to 1) try to cover-up the accident and save his political career; 2) try to devise a scheme to blame Mary Kopechne and say she was the driver; 3) convince his friends on many occasions not to call the police and to not report the accident; and 4) sober up for investigators. Or as Kennedy put it, he was in "shock." All this had more than just Bill Janklow asking: "How'd he get off?"
One of Ted's biggest issue is with Republicans positively quoting his brother, JFK. Officially his policy towards Republicans is: if you can't say anything mean, don't say anything at all. For instance, I'm not supposed to mention John F. Kennedy's stances on tax cuts (for the rich?), or foreign policy. JFK's proposed tax cuts made Ronald Reagan's and George W. Bush's look like play-dough. He also was strongly opposed to communism and totalitarianism. Unfortunately he was bad at combating both, later presidents would be much better at combating both.
Be it as it may, a history of drunkenness, manslaughter, and stupidity would not keep Kennedy from being elected year after year by the sensible people of Massachusetts. Reportedly, state-sponsored rehab would have been far more expensive than just paying his salary. And though he hasn't driven any cars off bridges or been publicly intoxicated for quite awhile now, he still manages to make the headlines. Most recently, he called Iraq "Bush's Vietnam." Does that make Vietnam "JFK's Iraq"? But Kennedy's patriotism should not be judged, as we are always told, by comments like that. His patriotism should, however, be judged by comments like this: "We now learn that Saddam's torture chambers reopened under new management: U.S. management." Or as he otherwise phrased it, "I support the troops."
Let's not forget Teddy and Sen. Dodd making a 'waitress sandwich' not too many years ago
Disgusting male. Gives me the hives.
My favorite Kennedy incident is the night of the infamous rape incident in Florida.
Ha and the "boys"(nephew and son)went out for a few drinks late in the evening on GOOD FRIDAY!! What a great Catholic he is,celebrating Good Friday at a bar.
I live in Massachusetts and I just don't get it.
When he's on the campaign trail on behalf of some Dem candidate, his first line is often "Are you happy to see ME?"....not "It's good to be here in _____", or "It's good to see all of you here today". Nope, not Teddy. Instead, it's "ARE YOU HAPPY TO SEE ME?". What an ego!
Maybe Teddy's just making sure the rest of him from his boobs down is still there. He's sooo fat he hasn't seen the lower part of his body in decades.
Also known then and now as "The one not worth assassinating".
So9
One day Ted Kennedy was standing on a street corner, when a cop walked over and told him to break it up.
Look at that overhang on his gut........
A disgusting lump of humanity taking up space on this planet.
Ted Kennedy is so fat that when he sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow him back into the ocean.
Ted Kennedy is so fat he goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"
Ya gotta give it to Kennedy the man has gall. How can a man who drove his wife to drunkenness and attempted suicide, a man who annulled this lady for another and made bastards of his kids, a man who murdered Mary Kopechne ,a man who deals with the IRA, have the unmitigated gall to stand and spew his hatred of George Bush, Bush a man who's shoes Kennedy isnt fit to shine. Well JFK and Bobby werent such bad guys but Teddy is a chip off the old block, Daddy Joe was a traitorous POS too, Roosevelt had to fire him for his connections with Hitler.
If Ted the killer, the same Ted who gave us Kerry the Traitor, gains 10 more pounds, the State of Massachusetts is going to give him his own Zip code!
When Ted goes camping, the bears hide THEIR food in the trees!!
LOL.....thanks for the laugh. I really needed it today.
Beached whale.
I can well imagine. Makes me wonder what he has on anybody or somebody to get elected time after time. He is one of the most mean and hateful members of Congress. I can't believe he is still in his seat. He acts like he is God Almighty. Well, I have news for him!
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.