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Uncle Albert Speaks
The Optimate ^ | 5/27/04 | Jay Bryant

Posted on 05/27/2004 8:01:14 AM PDT by Nasty McPhilthy

Uncle Albert Speaks 05/27/2004

Finally, there's some good news for the Bush campaign.

Al Gore has spoken out.

We haven't heard much from old Woodhead since he delivered his nomination-clinching endorsement speech for Howard Dean, right before Dean's big victory in the Iowa Caucuses.

You remember that, don't you?

He's a clever one that Gore. Doesn't let himself get overexposed. Saves up his ammunition for just the right moment and then disappears to…where? Does he go back to Tennessee and hoe tobacco on the Gore family farm? Or perhaps to some quiet room in Silicon Valley where he can refine his invention of the Internet? Oh, no, he's probably been down in Texas working on disaster relief with FEMA.

Wherever he's been, it's sure good to have him back.

Having saved the country from Howard Dean, he's now doing his best to save it from John Kerry.

His speech was so over the top, I've got to believe it was written by George Soros. In fact, it may well have been. None of the coverage I've seen mentions it, but the event where Gore spoke was a fund-raiser sponsored by Soros' MoveOn PAC, the hard money branch of the MoveOn.org soft-money operation that has been salaciously attacking Bush for months now under a loophole in the Bipartisan Campaign Reform Act. You remember that bill, the one we used to call McCain-Feingold? The one that was going to end all that nasty soft money in politics? Well, guess what? There's going to be more soft money spent in politics this year than ever before. Some reform.

And there was Uncle Albert (We're So Sorry If We Caused You Any Pain) ranting away at the MoveOn podium. How much did he raise for the organization? How much did he get paid to raise it? We don't know, because these so-called 527 Committees don't have the same reporting requirements as the ones McCain and Feingold reined in so brilliantly and thoroughly last year. The organization's PAC, though, would have to file reports, so maybe we will find out; but don't count on the media to do a story when the reports eventually get filed.

In the speech, Gore said Abu Ghraib was a "natural consequence of the Bush Administration policy" that "flowed directly from the abuse of the truth that characterized the Administration's march to war."

Remember a couple of weeks ago when I wrote about Abu Ghraib "bracket creep." I said, "Trust me, before moveon.org gets done, the President will have personally paid for the cameras used to take the pictures so he and Rumsfeld could chuckle over them in the White House sauna." It's all happening.

Speaking of Donald Rumsfeld, Gore called for his resignation, along with the resignations of Condoleezza Rice, George Tenet, Paul Wolfowitz, Douglas J. Feith, Stephen A. Cambone. I have a confession to make. I don't know who those last two people are. They have, nonetheless, just made it to an honored position on my heroes list. If Al Gore demands your resignation, you're okay in my book.

To hear Gore tell it, there was no terrorist threat to the United States at all until Bush and the Savage Six decided to make those poor innocent Muslim extremists angry. But as RNC Communications Director Jim Dyke pointed out in a release: "Al Gore served as Vice President of this country for eight years. During that time, Osama Bin Laden declared war on the United States five times and terrorists killed US citizens on at least four different occasions including the first bombing of the World Trade Center, the attacks on Khobar Towers, our embassies in East Africa, and the USS Cole.

"Al Gore's attacks on the President today demonstrate that he either does not understand the threat of global terror, or he has amnesia."

I didn't think anything could rescue Bush from the problems created by the Abu Ghraib tragedy. But by going completely beyond all bounds of reason and decency - he even accuses Bush of operating a whole "American Gulag" - Gore has done more than Republicans could have hoped.

At the end of his speech, Gore pats himself on the back for having accepted the Supreme Court decision in Bush v Gore, citing his "strong belief that we are a nation of laws."

Thank you, Uncle Albert. We're so sorry you had to go through that. And thank you, too, for demonstrating once again how fortunate we were that you didn't manage to get the few hundred additional votes you needed in Florida.

The Republicans should play your speech over and over again so people can see just how close they came to having a truly contemptible man as President.


TOPICS: News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS:

1 posted on 05/27/2004 8:01:14 AM PDT by Nasty McPhilthy
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To: Nasty McPhilthy

Bump.


2 posted on 05/27/2004 8:06:49 AM PDT by Rocko (Michael Moore -- "Hundredweight 911")
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To: Nasty McPhilthy
HAHAH!

Great reading, good points. Author has a way with words and sarcasm.

"Al Gore's attacks on the President today demonstrate that he either does not understand the threat of global terror, or he has amnesia."

both?

3 posted on 05/27/2004 8:08:07 AM PDT by No Blue States
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To: Nasty McPhilthy
Is Al Gore actually working for President Bush?

The Republicans should play your speech over and over again so people can see just how close they came to having a truly contemptible man as President.
4 posted on 05/27/2004 8:08:18 AM PDT by Rummyfan
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To: Nasty McPhilthy

"Uncle Albert?"..more like "Fat Albert!!"


5 posted on 05/27/2004 8:12:04 AM PDT by ken5050 (Ann Coulter needs to have children ASAP to propagate her genes.....any volunteers?)
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To: Nasty McPhilthy
Al Gore has spoken out

This one was even better than the "Dean scream". Thanks Al. Rush is right, your loss of power has driven you INSANE, thanks again.

6 posted on 05/27/2004 8:19:05 AM PDT by Mister Baredog ((The French can even build an airport))
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To: Mister Baredog

Jane's First Law of Politics:

Those in power get smug and overconfident, those out of power go insane.............


7 posted on 05/27/2004 8:22:29 AM PDT by Red Badger (I-gnorant S-tupid L-ying A-rab M-uslims.........I SLAM ISLAM UNCLE SAM I AM..............)
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To: Nasty McPhilthy
Only a chad away ........

" I TELL YOU!! I TELL YOOOOU! THE END IS NEAR!! THE END IS NEAR!! AHHHH! WE MUST ALL MAKE SURE OUR REFRIGERATORS USE LESS ENERGY WHEN NOT IN USE!!! AAARRRRGGGAAH!!!

Algores greatest concern in the face of global terror...All appliances must be Energy Star efficient.

 Energy Star

 

8 posted on 05/27/2004 8:23:20 AM PDT by stillnoprotestsagainstmuslims (I`m still waiting for the protests against terrorism.)
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To: Nasty McPhilthy
Al Gore is an idiot
9 posted on 05/27/2004 8:28:34 AM PDT by South40 (Amnesty for ILLEGALS is a slap in the face to the USBP!)
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To: upier

ping


10 posted on 05/27/2004 8:31:55 AM PDT by ml/nj
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To: Nasty McPhilthy

11 posted on 05/27/2004 8:38:39 AM PDT by happydogdesign
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To: Nasty McPhilthy

Gore apparently drinks waaaaay too much coffee (darned caffeine!) and really sweats a lot.


12 posted on 05/27/2004 8:44:45 AM PDT by Maria S ("And an angel still rides in the whirlwind and directs this storm."George W. Bush 1/20/01)
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To: ken5050
Here is a man with a long political career representing the people of Tennessee in the US Senate, who's father was also a senator from Tennessee, who was REJECTED by his own people when he ran for the presidency.
How he can show his face in Nashville or Memphis or anywhere in the Volunteer State is a mystery to me.
13 posted on 05/27/2004 8:58:40 AM PDT by Eric in the Ozarks (STAGMIRE !)
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To: Nasty McPhilthy

The fool has said in his heart that AL Gore is smart..


14 posted on 05/27/2004 9:44:20 AM PDT by hosepipe (This propaganda has been edited to include some fully orbed hyperbole....)
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