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P.J. O'ROURKE: America, Recuse Thyself!
The Wall Street Journal ^ | May 25, 2004 | P.J. O'ROURKE

Posted on 05/25/2004 6:13:26 PM PDT by presidio9

Edited on 05/27/2004 8:56:51 AM PDT by Admin Moderator. [history]

John Kerry says America shouldn't cut and run. George Bush says America mustn't. But we don't have to retreat ignominiously from the war on terrorism and from our other international responsibilities and commitments; we can recuse ourselves. We can explain to the court of global public opinion that, because America possesses the largest economy, the widest network of business relationships, and the only effective military force on earth, we have too great a vested interest in world events to render fair and impartial judgment. On every issue of geopolitical adjudication, from 9/11 to the Kyoto Protocol on Climate Change, America is a jury of cops and crime victims. A change in venire has already been called for by noisy street protestors, France and suchlike. Let's accede to the pre-emptory challenge and go home.

The benefits will be immediate. We can cut $300 billion from our defense budget. This will be almost enough to pay for the aging baby boomers' prescription drug benefits, which can now include Levitra, Botox and medicinal cannabis.

America will enjoy cleaner air and less traffic congestion as oil goes to $200 a barrel due to chaos in the Middle East. A U.S. withdrawal from the Middle East will cause chaos, of course. Then again, a U.S. intervention in the Middle East has caused chaos already. And, during those periods of history when the U.S. was neither intervening in nor withdrawing from the Middle East, there was . . . chaos. The situation is akin to the famous complaint women have against men: failure to acknowledge that not every problem can be fixed. Sometimes the best thing is just a little sympathy. America had everyone's sympathy after the World Trade towers were attacked. We can get that sympathy back if we limit our foreign policy objectives to whining.

(Excerpt) Read more at online.wsj.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Foreign Affairs; Government; Miscellaneous; News/Current Events; Philosophy; Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: gopreptiles; pjorourke
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To: zencat

That was great. Can you give me the source for that one?


61 posted on 05/25/2004 9:22:05 PM PDT by get'emall (Kofi Annan: Lawn Jockey on the Arab Street.)
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To: mhking; MeekOneGOP; 4mycountry; onyx; tiamat; Lazamataz; Paul Atreides; rdb3; cyborg; section9; ...

P.J. in fine form!


62 posted on 05/25/2004 9:23:19 PM PDT by King Prout (the difference between "trained intellect" and "indoctrinated intellectual" is an Abyssal gulf)
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To: ellery

One of my favorites:

"I have often been called a Nazi, and although it is unfair, I don't let it bother me. I don't let it bother me for one simple reason. No one has EVER had a fantasy about being tied to a bed and sexually ravished by someone dressed as a liberal."
-- P.J. O'Rourke


63 posted on 05/25/2004 9:24:10 PM PDT by Larry Lucido
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To: TheBigB

And, again, another thanks for creating the list!


64 posted on 05/25/2004 9:26:26 PM PDT by JennysCool
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To: Howlin

Howlin, a PJ-reading marathon is essential! ... And by the way, thanks for the great live thread last night. Got to it late and was up 'til 2 a.m. getting through it -- happily!


65 posted on 05/25/2004 9:28:53 PM PDT by JennysCool
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To: TheBigB

take pity on a city boy misplaced in Brooks County GA and add me to your pinglist, puh-leeeease.


66 posted on 05/25/2004 9:29:21 PM PDT by King Prout (the difference between "trained intellect" and "indoctrinated intellectual" is an Abyssal gulf)
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To: presidio9
A grand slam. An instant classic. I miss him. The only guy who writes on this level today is Steyn.

Thanks so much for the full post!

67 posted on 05/25/2004 9:29:35 PM PDT by mrustow
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To: presidio9
Did PJ ever write a followup to ALL THE TROUBLE IN THE WORLD? One year I bought several dozen of them as Christmas presents for my various family members

Talk about answering the sniveling whiners! The book is still one of the ultimate primers for all conservative thinkers. Pure common sense but so funny.
68 posted on 05/25/2004 10:22:30 PM PDT by JSteff
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To: TheBigB

Add me to the list please!


69 posted on 05/25/2004 10:28:28 PM PDT by JSteff
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To: TheBigB; m1911

Please put me on this ping list!


70 posted on 05/25/2004 10:59:18 PM PDT by CapandBall
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To: TheBigB

please ad me to your ping list.


71 posted on 05/25/2004 11:56:06 PM PDT by Mercat
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To: TheBigB
Thought you party reptiles would enjoy this story on P.J. from a few years back: Finding P.J.
72 posted on 05/26/2004 12:29:54 AM PDT by drew (fear of a liberal planet)
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To: Larry Lucido
One of my favorites (paraphrase, sorry):

"Republicans run for office on a platform of how horrible government is, then they get elected and prove it."

I use that one regularly along with his gag about how God is a Republican and Santa Claus is a liberal,

I must admit, however, that Mark Steyn is giving P.J. a good run. Steyn is certainly more prolific.

73 posted on 05/26/2004 4:09:25 AM PDT by Martin Tell (I will not be terrified or Kerrified.)
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To: TheBigB
Please add me to your PING list ...

They don't get much more reptilian than I ...

74 posted on 05/26/2004 5:28:05 AM PDT by BlueLancer (Der Elite Møøsënspåånkængrüppen ØberKømmändø (EMØØK))
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To: get'emall

Don't know if you already got a response, but that was from Holidays in Hell, in an essay entitled "Among the Euro-Weenines". The amazing thing is that it was written almost twenty years ago, yet still describes most of Europe perfectly today.


75 posted on 05/26/2004 6:19:52 AM PDT by Steelerfan
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To: presidio9
"A change in venire"

Something tells me that P.J. would not have written this.

76 posted on 05/26/2004 6:42:54 AM PDT by boris (The deadliest weapon of mass destruction in history is a Leftist with a word processor)
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To: presidio9

Bang 'em P.J. bump


77 posted on 05/26/2004 6:48:08 AM PDT by oyez (I know I'm rambling but...Everyone is entitled to my opinion. I am not a kook!)
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To: TheBigB
You'll be pinged to articles about beautiful women, strip clubs, HOOTERS restaurants, and midget exotic dancers. :-)

I am deeply saddened, shocked, and a little aroused. Maybe I should consider legal action.

Would you mind adding me to the ping list? P.J. is PFG.

78 posted on 05/26/2004 7:08:13 AM PDT by AngryJawa (Thank You Troops!)
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To: presidio9; bvw

Please add me to your list of sterile, lonely, child-men who'd love to read more PJ and the like.


79 posted on 05/26/2004 7:10:03 AM PDT by m1911
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To: TheBigB

Damn. Shows how alcohol and sex have ruined me, I suppose - please add me to the ping list.


80 posted on 05/26/2004 7:10:48 AM PDT by m1911
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