Posted on 05/22/2004 12:24:32 PM PDT by skoo
I'm really excited by George Bush's latest reason for bombing Iraq: he's running out of patience. And so am I!
For some time now I've been really pissed off with Mr. Johnson, who lives a couple of doors down the street. Well, him and Mr. Patel, who runs the health food shop. They both give me queer looks, and I'm sure Mr. Johnson is planning something nasty for me, but so far I haven't been able to discover what. I've been round to his place a few times to see what he's up to, but he's got everything well hidden. That's how devious he is.
As for Mr. Patel, don't ask me how I know, I just know - from very good sources - that he is, in reality, a Mass Murderer. I have leafleted the street telling them that if we don't act first, he'll pick us off one by one.
Some of my neighbours say, if I've got proof, why don't I go to the police? But that's simply ridiculous. The police will say that they need evidence of a crime with which to charge my neighbours.
They'll come up with endless red tape and quibbling about the rights and wrongs of a pre-emptive strike and all the while Mr. Johnson will be finalising his plans to do terrible things to me, while Mr. Patel will be secretly murdering people. Since I'm the only one in the street with a decent range of automatic firearms, I reckon it's up to me to keep the peace. But until recently that's been a little difficult. Now, however, George W. Bush has made it clear that all I need to do is run out of patience, and then I can wade in and do whatever I want!
And let's face it; Mr. Bush's carefully thought-out policy towards Iraq is the only way to bring about international peace and security. The one certain way to stop Muslim fundamentalist suicide bombers targeting the US or the UK is to bomb a few Muslim countries that have never threatened us.
That's why I want to blow up Mr. Johnson's garage and kill his wife and children. Strike first! That'll teach him a lesson. Then he'll leave us in peace and stop peering at me in that totally unacceptable way.
Mr. Bush makes it clear that all he needs to know before bombing Iraq is that Saddam is a really nasty man and that he has weapons of mass destruction - even if no one can find them. I'm certain I've just as much justification for killing Mr. Johnson's wife and children as Mr. Bush has for bombing Iraq.
Mr. Bush's long-term aim is to make the world a safer place by eliminating 'rogue states' and 'terrorism'. It's such a clever long-term aim because how can you ever know when you've achieved it? How will Mr. Bush know when he's wiped out all terrorists? When every single terrorist is dead? But then a terrorist is only a terrorist once he's committed an act of terror. What about would-be terrorists? These are the ones you really want to eliminate, since most of the known terrorists, being suicide bombers, have already eliminated themselves.
Perhaps Mr. Bush needs to wipe out everyone who could possibly be a future terrorist? Maybe he can't be sure he's achieved his objective until every Muslim fundamentalist is dead? But then some moderate Muslims might convert to fundamentalism. Maybe the only really safe thing to do would be for Mr. Bush to eliminate all Muslims?
It's the same in my street. Mr. Johnson and Mr. Patel are just the tip of the iceberg. There are dozens of other people in the street who I don't like and who - quite frankly - look at me in odd ways. No one will be really safe until I've wiped them all out.
My wife says I might be going too far but I tell her I'm simply using the same logic as the President of the United States. That shuts her up.
Like Mr. Bush, I've run out of patience, and if that's a good enough reason for the President, it's good enough for me. I'm going to give the whole street two weeks - no, 10 days - to come out in the open and hand over all aliens and interplanetary hijackers, galactic outlaws and interstellar terrorist masterminds, and if they don't hand them over nicely and say 'Thank you', I'm going to bomb the entire street to kingdom come.
It's just as sane as what George W. Bush is proposing - and, in contrast to what he's intending, my policy will destroy only one street.
I think God gave you a queer look, too, to go along with your queer behavior....
If it hadn't been written as sarcasm, I could almost agree with him on a lot of points made.Islam is killing us and will continue to kill us unless we kill the islamofacist feeding that religion.
While your little ignorant pinko arse was posting this dren, you defamed and slandered hundreds-of-thousands of Iraqi's that we have found buried in Saddam's mass graves. I know I waste my time posting this to you, as you lefty traitors are ONLY interested in returning to power! Your ways will lead to massive murder in this country that even the sci-fi genre can't imagine.
I am all for internment camps for leftists today! (Yea, I am just kidding....barely....)
LLS
Okay, put the crack pipe down and step away.
AARRRGGHHH!!
I have no idea what you are implying by that pic,reread my post and what I said, I beg you to find fault with it. We will never win the terrorist over to our side and as long as they are willing to live so that they can die as martyrs we will always be at war.
Did you konw taht fi you tpye smeohting wihth the frist and lsat leterts in the rihgt plecas msot poelpe can raed it?
Wow, how much money did you pay out to have someone type that up for you?
Get a refund, you got screwed.
And guess what, Sarin in an artilery shell IS a WMD.
So move along junior.
I'll whizz on your parade.
Another Suicide Zotter. He comes armed with nothing but innuendo and ignorance. We can't save those kind. They are promised 72 gerbils over at the DU.
Yep, truly free speech - free of those oh-so-cumbersome restraints of logic and fact.
Say what ? I said nothing to you.
You have no First Amendment Rights on a privately owned website, idiot.
Your post 25 to my post 22.
Sorry if the picture offended you.
The picture did not offend me but a picture of a zot directed at my comment did.
Crank up your audio, the Viking Kitties are on their way.
http://www.dennyweb.com/viking_kittens.htm
The pic fits in real well with what skoo was trying to say. How do you stop a person who is intent on killing himself ? Diplomacy will not work with that mindset.
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