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Childrens Books which never got published.
School Handout
| 05/18/2004
| anonymous 9th gr. Eng. school teacher
Posted on 05/19/2004 3:25:49 AM PDT by pageonetoo
Childrens Books Which Never Got Published
Heres a list of childrens book titles which for some reason or another that didnt make it to your local book shop.
1. You Are Different and Thats Bad.
2. The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables
3. Dads new wife Robert
4. Fun Four-letter Words to Know and Share
5. Hammers, Screwdrivers, and Scissors: An I-Can-Do Book
6. The Kids Guide to Hitchhiking
. Katy Was So Bad Her Mummy Stopped Loving Her
8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
9. All Cats Go To Hell
10. The Little Sissy Who Snitched
11. Some Kittens Can Fly
12. Thats It, Im Putting You Up For Adoption
13. Grandpa Gets a Casket
14. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
15. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
16. The Pop-up Book of Human Anatomy
17. Strangers Have the Best Candy
18. Whining, Kicking, and Crying to Get Your Way
19. You Were an Accident
20. This Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
21. Pop! Goes the Hamster
And Other Great Microwave Games
22. The Man in the Moon is Actually Satan
23. Your Nightmares Are Real
24. Where Would You Like to Be Buried?
25. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School
26. Why Cant Mr. Fork and Mrs Electrical Outlet be Friends?
27. Places Where Mummy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
28. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
Given to my daughters class by her 9th Grade English School teacher.
TOPICS: News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: emailjokes; humor
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My daughter brought this home... I submit it for comment, and any possible additions! There are a couple of good ones... this lady isn't afraid of controversy!
To: pageonetoo
Nice comic relief, thanks!
2
posted on
05/19/2004 3:34:42 AM PDT
by
DeuceTraveler
(Freedom is a never ending struggle)
To: DeuceTraveler
I am in WV. The school teachers here are more conservative, as a group, than those we had in NC. There are many liberals floating about, here, though, and we are only 1.5 hours from DC. I like this lady.
I am glad you appreciated this, too. I was tired of reading the trash... I mean news!
3
posted on
05/19/2004 3:39:52 AM PDT
by
pageonetoo
(rights, what Rights'. You're kidding, right? This is Amerika!)
To: pageonetoo
"My daughter brought this home..."
You didn't say from where. Right now I'm thinking this is another attack on the basic family structure by the liberal democrats and the NEA.
4
posted on
05/19/2004 3:40:34 AM PDT
by
chainsaw
(http://www.hanoi-john.org.)
To: pageonetoo
29.) "It's Inoperable, Charlie Brown!"
30.) If You Give a Mouse a Quickie...
5
posted on
05/19/2004 3:40:40 AM PDT
by
KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle
(I feel more and more like a revolted Charlton Heston, witnessing ape society for the very first time)
To: pageonetoo
Clifford the Big Dead Dog: A Treatise on Logistics
6
posted on
05/19/2004 3:44:23 AM PDT
by
Physicist
To: pageonetoo
"Hello, Satan? It's Me, Margaret"
7
posted on
05/19/2004 3:48:05 AM PDT
by
KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle
(I feel more and more like a revolted Charlton Heston, witnessing ape society for the very first time)
To: pageonetoo
Cyber-Sex and You: Fun things To Do In Chat Rooms.
Your Daddy Doesn't Love You Or Else He Wouldn't Have Left.
8
posted on
05/19/2004 3:51:26 AM PDT
by
Adder
(Can we bring back stoning again? Please?)
To: pageonetoo
"Why your Brother looks like the Mailman"
9
posted on
05/19/2004 3:53:50 AM PDT
by
JZoback
To: pageonetoo
The Anais Nin Alphabet Book ("The Only Alphabet Where Every Letter Stands For 'Daddy'...")
10
posted on
05/19/2004 3:53:58 AM PDT
by
KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle
(I feel more and more like a revolted Charlton Heston, witnessing ape society for the very first time)
To: pageonetoo
Your Mommy spanks you to teach you right from wrong
Your principle spanks you to look up your skirt.
To: pageonetoo; hellinahandcart; Lil'freeper
12
posted on
05/19/2004 4:07:03 AM PDT
by
sauropod
(Paleo-cons make better lovers)
To: pageonetoo
Strangers have the best candy!
To: pageonetoo
"It hurts when I pee, Charlie Brown!"
14
posted on
05/19/2004 4:13:14 AM PDT
by
LanPB01
To: pageonetoo
LOL, these are good. I'll be passing this one around, and I don't do that too much.
15
posted on
05/19/2004 4:14:10 AM PDT
by
jocon307
(The dems don't get it, the American people do.)
To: xsmommy
To quote an old Beatles tune...number nine...number nine...number nine...
16
posted on
05/19/2004 4:19:01 AM PDT
by
secret garden
(One more day of school!)
To: pageonetoo
Samurai Cat Goes To Hell by Mark E. Rogers (Author)
List Price: |
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$13.95 |
Price: |
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$11.16 & eligible for FREE Super Saver Shipping on orders over $25. See details. |
You Save: |
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$2.79 (20%) |
Availability: Usually ships within 24 hours
Only 5 left in stock--order soon (more on the way).
34 used & new from $1.95
Edition: Paperback
Customers who bought this book also bought:
From BooklistBlood flows freely as Tomokato--Samurai Cat--and his nephew Shiro, still seeking revenge for their master's death, attack Genghis Khan and the Mongols. The puns flow freely, too: Tomokato uses Aim Toothpaste with Tartar Control to subdue Khan's troops--get the picture? When both cats are killed in the skirmish, Shiro is sent to hell because he watched a porn flick shortly before dying. Tomokato, though, is headed for heaven but takes a detour downward when he is commissioned by an angel to... read more
17
posted on
05/19/2004 4:40:46 AM PDT
by
BufordP
(I'm Jimmy Valentine's Brother's brother)
To: pageonetoo
Cheeky fun.
Not sure of an appropriate age kid!
18
posted on
05/19/2004 4:44:47 AM PDT
by
Quix
(Choose this day whom U will serve: Shrillery & demonic goons or The King of Kings and Lord of Lords)
To: pageonetoo
19
posted on
05/19/2004 4:46:56 AM PDT
by
Drammach
(The Wolves are at the Door... Hey, Kids! Your lunch is here!)
To: pageonetoo
This is really funny for adults and I had gotten it in my inbox a while ago, but 9th grade!?!
I'm so glad I homeschool.
20
posted on
05/19/2004 4:49:07 AM PDT
by
netmilsmom
(Supporting our troops, 5/27 - M59 & Old Van Dyke! Yoller if you see us!)
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