World of Hurt (Dowd alert)

The New York Times ^ | 05/09/04 | Maureen Dowd

[Pokey78]

WASHINGTON

Good golly, you knew Rummy wasn't going to pretend to stay contrite for long. Not with lawmakers bugging him about the Pearl Harbor of PR, as Republican Tom Cole called it.

The flinty 71-year-old kept it together as John McCain pounced and Hillary prodded. But soon he was once more giving snippy one-word answers to his inquisitors, foisting them on his brass menagerie or biting their heads off himself.

By Friday evening, when the delegate from Guam, Madeleine Bordallo, pressed him on whether "quality of life" was an issue in the Abu Ghraib torture cases, you could see Donald-Duck steam coming out of his ears.

"Whether they have a PX or a good restaurant is not the issue," he said with a veiled sneer.

Rummy was having a dickens of a time figuring out how a control-freak administration could operate in this newfangled age when G.I.'s have dadburn digital cameras.

In the information age, he complained to senators, "people are running around with digital cameras and taking these unbelievable photographs and then passing them off, against the law, to the media, to our surprise, when they had not even arrived in the Pentagon."

Senator Lindsey Graham, a Republican, mourned that America was in a "world of hurt." If Gen. Richard Myers knew enough to try to suppress the CBS show, Mr. Graham asked, why didn't he know enough to warn the president and Congress?

Donald Rumsfeld, a black belt at Washington infighting, knew the aggrieved lawmakers were most interested in an apology for not keeping them in the loop. He no doubt was sorry — sorry the pictures got out.

The man who promised last July that "I don't do quagmires" didn't seem to be in trouble on Friday, despite the government's blowing off repeated Red Cross warnings.

But who knows what the effect will be of the additional "blatantly sadistic and inhuman" photos that Mr. Rumsfeld warned of? Or the videos he said he still had not screened?

Dick Cheney will not cut loose his old mentor from the Nixon and Ford years unless things get more dire.

After all, George Tenet is still running the C.I.A. after the biggest intelligence failures since some Trojan ignored Cassandra's chatter and said, "Roll the horse in." Colin Powell is still around after trash-talking to Bob Woodward about his catfights with the Bushworld "Mean Girls" — Rummy, Cheney, Wolfie and Doug Feith. The vice president still rules after promoting a smashmouth foreign policy that is more Jack Palance than Shane. And the president still edges out John Kerry in polls, even though Mr. Bush observed with no irony to Al Arabiya TV: "Iraqis are sick of foreign people coming in their country and trying to destabilize their country, and we will help them rid Iraq of these killers."

The only people who have been pushed aside in this administration are the truth tellers who warned about policies on taxes (Paul O'Neill); war costs (Larry Lindsey); occupation troop levels (Gen. Eric Shinseki); and how Iraq would divert from catching the ubiquitous Osama (Richard Clarke).

Even if the secretary survives, the Rummy Doctrine — using underwhelming force to achieve overwhelming goals — is discredited. Jack Murtha, a Democratic hawk and Vietnam vet, says "the direction's got to be changed or it's unwinnable," and Lt. Gen. William Odom, retired, told Ted Koppel that Iraq was headed toward becoming an Al Qaeda haven and Iranian ally.

By the end, Rummy was channeling Jack Nicholson's Col. Jessup, who lashed out at the snotty weenies questioning him while they sleep "under the blanket of the very freedom I provide, then question the manner in which I provide it."

Asked how we can get back credibility, Rummy bridled. "America is not what's wrong with the world," he said, adding: "I read all this stuff — people hate us, people don't like us. The fact of the matter is, people line up to come into this country every year because it's better here than other places, and because they respect the fact that we respect human beings. And we'll get by this."

Maybe. But for now, the hawks who wanted to employ American might to scatter American values like flower petals all across the world are reduced to keeping them from being trampled by Americans. As Rummy would say, not a pretty picture.   

E-mail: liberties@nytimes.com

[Pokey78]

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From Oxblog:

IMMUTABLE LAWS OF DOWD

1. Ashcroft never deserves credit.

2. Offering constructive solutions to problems, instead of whining endlessly about them, is a sign of weakness.

3. The People Magazine principle: all political phenomena can be explained with reference solely to caricatures of the personalities involved ("Dubya" is stupid; "Poppy" is an aristocrat; Cheney is macho-man; etc.). Any reference to the common good or even to old-fashioned politicking is, like, so passe.

4. It is much better to be cute than coherent.

5. Maureen knows best. Her long years as a columnist (doing basically what your great-aunt Tillie does in the nursing home bull sessions, but getting paid for it) have given her deep insight into foreign relations, politics, welfare, the Constitution, and all other topics. To disagree with Maureen in any way is not only a sign of being wrong, it's a hallmark of pure evil...or at least membership in the NRA, which is pretty much the same thing.

6. It is usually possible and always desirable to name-drop and name-call in the same sentence.

7. The particulars of my consumer-driven, shamefully self-involved life reveal universal truths.

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Explanation of the Dowd/Douglas connection: by Miss Marple- 2/11/03

Ms. Dowd was escorted around New York and DC for many months by one Michael Douglas of Hollywood fame and fortune. She got to go to all the best parties, was photographed for the tabloids, and was picking out a gown to wear at the Oscars. Of course, Michael had become interested in her during Clinton's impeachment, when she had written some very anti-Clinton columns. After a few weeks of the Michael treatment, she began to write anti-Starr, ant-Newt columns, ignoring Clinton.

Then Clinton was acquitted by the Senate. In an amazing coincidence, Michael Douglas dropped Ms. Dowd like a hot potato, and instead picked up a hot tomato, Catherin Zeta-Jones, who subsequently bore him a son and they were married.

Ms. Dowd cannot get over her tragic loss. Her columns are increasingly anti-Bush, in the hope of impressing her lost love, Michael.

In addition, we think she has a secret crush on the President and is trying to get him to pay attention to her. Ha!

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Moron Dowd enjoys a drink with her DemonRat Party pals
(Courtesy Free ThinkerNY)

[McGavin999]

Poor old Dowdy, the alcohol is really eliminating those brain cells.

[MegaSilver]

I can't believe this woman won a Pulitzer.

Stylistically correct her columns may be, but beyond that, they fall flat. There is nothing fresh, original, or provocative about her writing.

[prion]

Donald Rumsfeld, a black belt at Washington infighting, knew the aggrieved lawmakers were most interested in an apology for not keeping them in the loop.

Well, she got one right.

[VRW Conspirator]

Yo Mau,
We miss you down at the pub. But, I can understand why. You lost your, er, edge. Hey, what ever happened to that big movie star fella you were hanging with? Anyhow, gotta go. I'll let you slide today.

[Sofa King]

What a rambling, pointless mess.

[SavoyyTruffle]

More feverish late-night lucubrations from the Gray Lady's
resident strumpet.

[Psycho_Bunny]

Dowd......Mark Morford without a penis.

Here's a nightmare for you, courtesy of The Bunny: imagine the two of them have a child.

[The Scourge of Yazid]

Well, consider the fact that she was the replacement for Anna Quindlan, who wasn't exactly H.L. Mencken when it came to scintillating prose. I don't think the NYT has a very high standard when it comes to prospective editorial columnists. I'm almost relieved that they passed on my op-ed a few months ago, seeing as how they prefer to publish the inane ravings of someone who just came back from Happy hour at O'Hanlon's.

Seriously, there have been only two columns she's ever written that have even approached the threshold of professional journalism; one was about Daniel Petrocelli and the other had some connection to the Lewinksy ordeal.

[KellyAdmirer]

Dowd's columns have no originality. Unless, that is, you think that cutting and pasting the week's most cutting anti-Bush quotes and news along with snide, sneering commentary is original. Which, no doubt, is the case for liberals, who probably think this trite nothingness is the height of insightfulness.

[F.J. Mitchell]

Who will pay Ma Urinee's bills, when the Never Your Times, is recycled into toilet paper and flushed ?

[Paul_B]

I enjoy not reading Dowd here rather than not reading her at the Times because I don't want to give her hits there.

[ontos-on]

I like Steyn's characterization best: "elderly shoolgirl".

[Theresawithanh]

Eeeeeeew! That's a picture in my brain that I need to delete!

I love it when someone posts a Dowdy, everyone's replies make me laugh out loud! And people actually read this woman?

[pdfw]

Get used to it Mo, Rummy was there running the show 30 years ago and he is still going to be there tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that day etc !

[Ditter]

Maureen Dowd enjoys a drink with her Demonrat pals:
The remarkable thing about that photo is how Maureen was able to keep her hair looking so good after she pulled her head out of her a$$ to take that drink.

[governsleastgovernsbest]

Mr. Bush observed with no irony to Al Arabiya TV: "Iraqis are sick of foreign people coming in their country and trying to destabilize their country, and we will help them rid Iraq of these killers."

Dowd founs it notable that Pres. Bush spoke "without irony" of ridding Iraq of foreign killers. So in Dowd's view, Americans in Iraq are nothing but killers themselves.

[pdfw]

+ =

[Psycho_Bunny]

Well.

That pretty much answers that, doesn't it?

lol

[boxsmith13]

I hope she remains barren, single and dies alone and cold