Little Red Corvette (Kerry's mid-life crisis) - Hugh Hewitt

Weekly Standard ^ | 5/6/04 | Hugh Hewitt

[Steven W.]

Do pictures of John Kerry in his Lycra cycling suit make you wonder if he's running for the right reasons?

WHEN JOHN KERRY took a spill from his bike this past weekend, it triggered thoughts of Jimmy Carter's collapse in a road race, Gerald Ford's much-mocked stumbles, and of Kerry's own misadventures on the ski slopes earlier this year. But it wasn't until the pictures of Kerry on his bike appeared that the real damage was done. The electric-lemon Lycra look probably won't play well outside the metrosexual caucus, and it can't be particularly inspiring to the troops living in holes outside of Falluja. Presidents can golf, and they can run, but they can't get dandied up and dart around on bikes in tights and fluorescent helmets.

Kerry's obsessive, if ill-fated, displays of physical activity also raise issues other than decorum. I've seen this sort of behavior before in men of a certain age, usually from their early 50s to their early 60s. And then the thought stuck: Are John Kerry's presidential ambitions and the shape and images of his campaign more about a mid-life crisis writ very large than any underlying set of ideas?

First, note that there aren't a lot of ideas over at Kerry Central, other than the U.N. blathering which, in the aftermath of oil-for-food-for-cash-for-Kofi's-friends, doesn't even persuade United Nations employees anymore. And Kerry's paper thin record of Senate accomplishments over two decades doesn't provide us with a reason for his running either.

So who's to say that it all isn't just an effort to head-off old age via the biggest sideshow of them all.

There are warning signs of mid-life crisis. At least a couple of these--excessive time spent on personal appearance and the constant reminiscing about one's youth--seem spot-on in the context of Kerry. And the big gun experts on male mid-life melt-down, such as Jim Conway, author of Men in Midlife Crisis, warn that some candidates for mid-life crisis "seem to have a lot of power, leadership, and ability, yet many of them express great insecurity, and feeling worthless." Kerry may be hiding a lot of angst behind his façade of lift-tickets and SUVs and his Shrumian rhetoric.

Presidents Bush, Clinton, and Carter arrived in the White House before the age when the mid-life demons descend, and President Reagan and candidate Dole had passed the age of such smash-ups.

But Kerry's definitely in the danger zone. Maybe those Lycra shorts are just a cry for help. Maybe he needs help. Maybe what the Kerry campaign really needs is a red corvette.

[Hodar]

How did I survive all those teenage years wearing jeans and a T-shirt?

Did you put on 5-10 miles per day, or 60? You 'might' get by doing 20 miles without bike gear for one day; but try doing a 5 day, 280 mile trek with jeans and a T-shirt. Your thighs will need a skin graft.

[xp38]

The reason I posted about that Bentley is because the 12 cylinders are in a W configuration. In other words its two side by side V6s. I had never heard of that before but apparently there have been some for aircraft. If W is going to have a midlife crisis this is the car he should have it in and not a segway. It came out this year so it's a 2004 model and how cool is a W12 engine?

[R. Scott]

We would do probably 30-40 miles a day sometimes more. We lived in farm country, and friends were scattered all over the county. Not having a car until I was 18, the only way to get around was the bike.
Of course, back then we didn’t know about such things as tender skin. I’m willing to bet I rode a lot more than Hanoi John.

[kcvl]

I doubt the dork has "biked" 60 miles in his lifetime.

[R. Scott]

A W-12 engine? That would be something to see. In my mind’s eye it is one very wide engine.

[DeaconRed]

Reminds me of Doo-Kakas in that tank.
sKerry will have the same results.

[xp38]

There is a small photo of the engine here. http://www.motortrend.com/roadtests/coupe/112_0310_frst2_bentley/

[R. Scott]

ACK!
Nothing but manifold! What happened to the Good Ole Days when the engine was visible?

[RonDog]

"...WHEN JOHN KERRY took a spill from his bike this past weekend, it triggered thoughts of Jimmy Carter's collapse in a road race, Gerald Ford's much-mocked stumbles, and of Kerry's own misadventures on the ski slopes earlier this year.

But it wasn't until the pictures of Kerry on his bike appeared that the real damage was done. The electric-lemon Lycra look probably won't play well outside the metrosexual caucus, and it can't be particularly inspiring to the troops living in holes outside of Falluja.

Presidents can golf, and they can run, but they can't get dandied up and dart around on bikes in tights and fluorescent helmets." - Hugh Hewitt

.

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[Grampa Dave]

Time to post your graphic art magic re Jihad Johnny's latest failure to act like a 20 year old.

[PhilDragoo]

Kerry recently bragged an Israeli Air Force colonel let the senator take the controls of a Fuga jet trainer--
--when "we were five feet off the ground".
Kerry claims he then "did a figure eight and a loop" so he could see Israel "upside down".

[nuconvert]

LOL

[Cinnamon Girl]

:)

[xp38]

I know..the last time I was at an auto show most times you opened the hood it look like a metal table was in there.

[R. Scott]

Love that PhotoShop - of course, everyone knows it’s an invention of the Great Right Wing Conspiracy …

[R. Scott]

A few weeks ago a young neighbor asked me if I knew anything about car engines. I replied that I did at one time.
He started his car - it was running a little rough - and popped the hood. I didn’t see anything that remotely looked like an engine. I guess this guy really is getting old.

[Proud_texan]

And as a close friend is wont to say:

"Spandex is a privilege, not a right."

[maryz]

I rode a lot more than Hanoi John.

I probably rode more than Hanoi John, and I never even had my own bike. (No photographers either!)

[R. Scott]

He doesn’t look all that comfortable on it.

[Victoria Delsoul]

But Kerry's definitely in the danger zone. Maybe those Lycra shorts are just a cry for help. Maybe he needs help. Maybe what the Kerry campaign really needs is a red corvette.

I wonder if those shorts are cutting off his circulation preventing him from expressing a coherent thought.