Posted on 04/28/2004 10:05:23 AM PDT by u-89
Mission Statement: To discretely provide US troops shipping out overseas with the most sensually pleasing departure possible.
Kelly McDonough types furiously on the keyboard at the cluttered desk in her house that serves as her unofficial command post. McDonough, a 5'4" brunette, looks far younger than her 26 years; asked to describe herself she unabashedly says, "farm girl, which is what I am". She waves apologetically and says, "Sorry, I'll be with you in a minute". Amid various calendars and dry erase boards a hand painted sign hangs above the desk, emblazoned in military style stenciling "Operation: Take One for the Country". McDonough pushes back from the desk and exhales, "So you want to know how Take One for the Country started?". McDonough leans back in her chair, "It was back in February of 2003, when a lot of troops were leaving Ft. Benning. My girlfriends and I were partying at a bar frequented by soldiers. At some point one my friend leaves with a young soldier. The next day we questioned her and commented that the soldier didn't seem her 'type'. My friend just shrugged and said, 'Hey, his unit was going to ship out in a few days, so I decided to take one for the country', I knew right then and there that this was an incredible idea, so I started Operation Take One for the Country".
McDonough energetically describes exactly what Operation Take One for the Country does, "First, a military operation would not be a military operation unless we used an acronym, in this case, Op T.O.F.T.C., or as we say 'To-FutK'. Essentially we organize, discreetly, single girls to frequent bars and restaurants near military bases and, well, Take One for the Country, with members of the military, especially those about to go overseas". As McDonough describes it, TOFTC volunteers work in secrecy, "We're not out there with signs or badges. We are completely covert, you could not tell a TOFTC member from anyone else in the bar, and that is essential to the success of the Op".
Military terms and phrases flow freely in McDonough's speech. She admits that, even with a brother in the army, before starting TOFTC she knew little of military life or lexicon. "There are a lot of girls out there like me who would like to do something for the country and really have no idea where to start. Our philosophy is if you are out there partying and engage in casual sex you might as well 'Take One for the Country'". The nicely built brunette sits cross legged on her chair and delineates what she sees as the benefits of TOFTC, "The men go off into harms way gratified, and because the organization is covert, they get the boost in ego thinking that they scored on their own attributes, they ship out relaxed and confident, with a distinct impression of a grateful nation behind them". McDonough is adamant about safety "The principle is simple, don't do anyone you don't want to do, be safe, be protected" and reiterates this when meeting with TOFTC groups.
Apparently there is no lack of volunteers for TOFTC outings. McDonough relates her findings, "There is some much societal pressure on getting a job, getting married, you know, getting ahead. I think there are a lot of gals out there that want to do something for the country, they may or may not support some aspects of foreign policy, but they want to feel like they contribute or make a difference. And this is a fun way to do it, . . . so to speak".
The map on the wall of her makeshift command post illustrates that TOFTC is a nationwide operation, and apparently growing fast. "We have 19 officially unofficial TOFTC 'battalions', as we call our groupings, across the United States, and we are getting emails and calls all the time". TOFTC memos and correspondences are all printed on pink stationary using a handwriting script font, McDonough explains that this is necessary for the covert nature of the operation and that men will likely not pick up or read something printed on pink stationary.
TOFTC has not been able to maintain complete secrecy and word has leaked out. I contacted Annette Spargas of the UC Berkley chapter of NOW and asked if she had ever heard of Operation Take One for the Country. Spargas said that she, in fact, had heard of TOFTC and was working to find and protest the group at the first opportunity. "These women are really sick, they are prostituting themselves", Spargas ranted, "they are objectifying their bodies to the killers of the Bush cabals war machine. They need to examine how men have made prostitutes of women throughout time". McDonough is un-phased by this type of objection, "What a bunch of bay-auches! Those femi-nazis really make me mad. Yeah, we have a TOFTC 'battalion' in Oakland, but nothing else in the bay area. Berkeley girls are too femi-nazi granola and the Stanford girls are too stuck up intellectual. Not to worry though, we're getting some good indications of interest from Sacramento and Amador Counties (outside of San Francisco) and we'll be able to take care of the men of the Pacific Fleet, don't you worry".
Jane Kelso arrives at McDonough's house that afternoon to work on a TOFTC 'battalion' trip to Jacksonville Florida. Kelso is married to an army sergeant and has expanded the mandate for TOFTC. "I'm getting married women into the equation, but not how you think", Kelso offers with a wry grin. "Like any other woman, a wife or girlfriend of a male member of the armed services, probably withholds sex. I'm trying to get these women to Take One for the Country as often as possible before their husband/boyfriend ships out. I mean, some of this military wives think felatio is a Baroque era painter! These women need to suck, eh, I mean take a big money shot from their husbands/boyfriends as a patriotic duty".
The discussion naturally swings to the question of "Do you have any male volunteers?". Kelso brightens as she and McDonough exchange a high-five, "Oooo-aaahh, YES we do!". McDonough becomes somewhat somber and says, "There are plenty of single women serving in the armed forces, and as we've all seen, they are in harm's way, although for the men it may not be about sex, it could be going shopping or cuddling up watching a chick flick or a 'Trading Spaces' marathon. Same rules for the men 'Be safe, be protected, be discrete'".
Kelso and McDonough return back to planning the TOFTC trip to Jacksonville and whether they will need two buses get everyone there. Afterwards, McDonough mused about the future of TOFTC, "I think the concept has been around during every conflict the U.S. has been involved in, even during Vietnam. Operation Take One for the Country is here to stay, I'm going to make sure there is always a TOFTC happening somewhere. The members of our armed forces deserve it. God Bless America"
Now what does that mean?
I'm tearing up.
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