The Family Code (Girl Foils Alleged Kidnapping Attempt with a Family Secret)

ABCNEWS.com ^ | 4/13/04 | ABCNEWS

[NYC Republican]

Seven-year-old Shelby Flanders was walking home from elementary school when a stranger in a red car approached her with a frightening story about her mother.

The man, according to the Salt Lake County Sheriff's department, told Shelby that her mom had been in a car accident and that he was sent to pick her up. But Shelby didn't buckle under the pressure.

Shelby said on ABCNEWS' Good Morning America that when she refused his offer of candy, the man said her mom had been in an accident. When she asked him the code word, he didn't answer, "so I said 'no' and I ran," she said.

Shelby ran off toward some school friends who had been walking ahead, and the man quickly pulled a U-turn and sped away.

"If we don't have a code word when anybody comes up to us, we won't go with them," said Shelby.

After the scare, Shelby called her mother, Audree Flanders, from her friend's house with the frightening story.

"She called and left a message on my phone and said she was at a friend's house because on the way home somebody tried to steal her," Audree Flanders said.

Shelby's father, Richard Flanders, said their family code word has been in place for 10 years and this is the first time that any of the Flanders children had to use it. He says he's pleased that Shelby passed the ultimate test.

Audree Flanders says she is proud of her daughter, even though Shelby was supposed to be walking home with the other girls in her neighborhood.

Shelby and her three older siblings are well-educated in "stranger dangers." They've been required, by their parents, to watch a videotape about safety techniques a number of times.

The video teaches children and their parents to establish a code word in case of an emergency. If a family emergency happens, children know that they should only go with people who know the code word.

Sgt. Rosie Rivera of the Salt Lake County Sheriff's department says the Flanders are model parents who have prepared their children well for the unexpected.

"With children, you have to refresh their minds so they don't forget. And in this situation, it worked," Rivera said.

The Salt Lake County Sheriff's department is still looking for the driver in connection with the April 6 incident.

Shelby described the motorist as a white man in his 30s with brown hair, wearing a gray shirt, black pants and blue shoes. His car had a cracked windshield, Easter egg stickers on the hood and no license plate, according to the young girl.

Shelby Flanders, 7, foiled an alleged kidnapping attempt when she asked a stranger for her family code word.

[NYC Republican]

For those with kids, this is an EXCELLENT idea... Saved a potential disaster here... I thought of Mystic River right away, though they posed as cops...

[Professional Engineer]

Cool story.

[TheBigB]

Good girl! :)

[Just another Joe]

Had a family code word in place since our girls were old enough to go out of the house alone.

[Ciexyz]

Smart little girl!

[johnfrink]

Very smart girl. Not only remembered the code word plan, but evidently delivered a pretty good description of the car and the motorist to police. Here's hoping they nail the guy.

[NYC Republican]

I despise Tim Robbins and Sean Penn, but Mystic River was showing on my flight and I decided to watch it... I really enjoyed it, I have to admit

In the opening scene, one of the boys was abducted by two older men pretending to be police officers... They told one of them to go into the car. The code obviously wouldn't help here. Any thoughts on what's the best way for a child to handle this? Run? Scream until others hear? ???

[MrB]

That description of the car and man was pretty amazing.

Reminds me of the little girl in "Man with Two Brains" memorizing an entire brain surgery procedure on the street, then offering a suggestion to Steve Martin.

[rabidralph]

My code words are "stop your advance or I'll shoot you dead."

[ElkGroveDan]

The code word thing is dangerous, because you are directing your child to engage in conversation with the stranger.

Since the possibility of me sending someone unknown to my kids to pick them up is exactly nil, I just tell them to get away from the stranger as quickly as possible and don't argue, discuss, debate, talk or go near them.

[AppyPappy]

Oddly, it almost never happens. I think most kids are kidnapped from a "sitting position". An abductor looks for children who are alone and out of view of witnesses. This was a strange case.

[jwalburg]

I found a great site that had 50 free tips. Some were things I had never thought of. Like, if you're in a parking lot, banging on cars might set off car alarms and draw attention. Telling kids that adults never need help from kids and that if they ask for help (like finding lost puppies) you should run.

kids fighting chance

[NYC Republican]

Thanks for the tip!

[alpha-8-25-02]

Godbless this family!
they have kept their family intact by being involved and by teaching them evil does exist.

[netmilsmom]

>>The code word thing is dangerous, because you are directing your child to engage in conversation with the stranger.
Since the possibility of me sending someone unknown to my kids to pick them up is exactly nil, I just tell them to get away from the stranger as quickly as possible and don't argue, discuss, debate, talk or go near them.<<

My sisters told their kids not to go near strangers at all as well and used the code word thing for anyone else.
Both my sisters had their kids in the same school. My middle sister asked my oldest to pick all the kids up one day. My niece refused to go with her aunt because she didn't know the code word. They had to go to the office to call and find out what it was.

That girl got a big hug and all the kids got ice cream to celebrate.

Sometimes a person who is familiar is out to hurt a child. A neighbor or church member. That is who the code word is for.

[Blood of Tyrants]

Atta girl!

[nonsporting]

The code word thing is dangerous, because you are directing your child to engage in conversation with the stranger.

That's right.

My children are ALWAYS under adult supervision. This child was walking home (albeit with her friends) w/o an adult. (I know it's an accepted practice, but a dangerous one--times have changed.) A more daring childnapper could have grabbed her and taken off, codeword or not.

[ShadowDancer]

Unfortunately, I've had to flat out tell my kids to never, ever, ever go anywhere with a police officer. I don't think my youngest gets it yet (she's five) but my oldest seems to, God I hope. I've told them over and over again that no police officer would ever come to get them if I were hurt, that only their immediate family would so if a cop tells them that, they are lying through their teeth. What really helped was that a few weeks ago her class went on a field trip and one stop was to the police station and they backed that up 100%

[NYC Republican]

Great -thanks!

[IDontLikeToPayTaxes]

The Family Code (Girl Foils Alleged Kidnapping Attempt with a Family Secret)

From the title, I thought the girl foiled the kidnapper by turning into a werewolf or something.