I wish I had waited

L.A. youth ^ | jan. 2004 | anonymous

[freepatriot32]

I am a 15-year-old girl who’s had sex since the age of 13. There are two main reasons I got into having sex at such an early age. One, I didn’t know much about sex so I wanted to see what it was like. I saw it everywhere from Victoria’s Secret shops to television shows.

Two, I was influenced into having sex because "everybody" in high school was doing it. I was in eighth grade and I hung around people who were older than me. The guys were not virgins. They would say things like, "It is not a big deal." So I thought that if I was not a virgin it would not matter that much because it had lost its specialness.

My parents and teachers were too embarrassed to sit me in a chair and talk to me about sex. My parents thought that I would not become sexually active because my brothers and sisters had not become involved with sex. In my middle school I did not have any sex education classes. At that time I was wondering stuff like, how does it feel to have sex? Do I get pregnant the first time? What is a condom? I once saw a condom on glasses worn by Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes and I wondered what it was.

The first time I had sex, I had to depend on what the guy knew. I was 13 and the guy was my sex education class. He was 16 years old and not my boyfriend. It was his idea to have sex and I was really adventurous at the time. I wanted to know more and it just happened. It was his idea to use a condom because I didn’t know much about birth control. After I had sex, I realized it was too late to take back the biggest mistake of my life. I went home and kept telling myself, "I’m not a virgin, I’m not a virgin." I felt really bad about it because growing up I was taught that you shouldn’t lose your virginity until you’re married.

Months later, when my parents found out that I was having sex, they lost their trust in me and sent me to a group home. But sex is addictive. I became addicted to the feeling of being loved because I wasn’t getting enough love from my family. I began to have sex with people that I really did not want to have sex with. Once I started having sex it was not easy to stop.

I personally believe that middle school is one of the most important places to be given sex education because when you get into high school you will see things about sex everywhere. Nowadays people do not wait to be seniors at the prom to have sex. They just have sex when they think they are ready, whether or not they are.

I wanted to save my virginity for someone special, not just some guy. I think that if I had known more about sex and taken sex-ed classes in middle school, I would have realized that sex is not a game. After the sex-ed classes I took in ninth grade, I learned that there is much more to sex than the "fun" of it. There are sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy, and with those risks comes a lot of responsibility.

In the future, I want to wait to have sex until I meet someone who appreciates me. Sex can bring negative things when you are not ready for it.

[cyborg]

Something stinks in this article. If it is true, sending her to a group home??? Please. Were they fuddy duddies couldn't say the word SEX? Oprah had a series of shows about sex which were all good because I know a lot of parents can't discuss sex with their kids. A lot of parents are shameful about their own experiences with sex.
I used to hear girls talk this person in this essay but those girls were OLDER.

[laredo44]

Right. A 15-year-old wrote this. [/sarcasm]

I will assume you don't have in your family, or know of, any intelligent 15 year old girls.

How many families do you know that do this?

"Months later, when my parents found out that I was having sex, they lost their trust in me and sent me to a group home."

The entire "article" smells of Jayson Balir reporting.

[kanawa]

When she does decide to have sex, it's with an older guy in her SEX ED CLASS!

" I was 13 and the guy was my sex education class. He was 16 years old..."

[tiamat]

"In the future, I want to wait to have sex until I meet someone who appreciates me. Sex can bring negative things when you are not ready for it."

---

I don't see what al of the shooting is about.

The article SUPPORTS abstinance.

That said: I have met 15 year old kids who could have written this article.

Second: her parents are morons. By age 13, her mom should have sat her down and had The Talk. If Mom was too embarrased, she could have gotten an Auntie or someone else to do it

Parents who dodge this are just BEGGING to become early grandparents.

There are also a number of wholesome books that can be used. I know, I bought one for my daughter to look at and read.

I had The Talk early with my daughter (age 10) because she started her period at that age and it scared her. I'm not shy about such things, so it was easy for me. It would have been cruel to not tell her WHY her body was doing what it was doing.

I also wanted to be sure that she had the proper names for things, and that she understood what I thought of teen-age sex, unwanted pregnancy, etc.

I wanted to be very sure that my daughter got her first exposure to these things FROM ME, not the school, not her class-mates.

So I took the bull by the horns.

[raynearhood]

Yeah, it was the language that got me. I remember being 15 pretty well, as does my wife (only 10 yrs. ago). Both of us thought that this was a load of crap. No kid uses that sort of vocabulary while writing at 15. That language was more along the lines of a 12 year old's written vocabulary. If it was a 15 yr. old, who edited this article?
This was a work to "sound" like a teenager. Who ever did this is trying to get sex-ed into the elementary schools.

[cyborg]

I do not believe a fifteen year old wrote this essay BUT that's beside the point. My mom and I talked about sex frequently. When I came back from college, she practically threw a party because I was still *ahem* virtuous and didn't get knocked up by from drunk frat boy.

[international american]

I think you are correct.

[tiamat]

I can't tell one way or the other if a 15 year old wrote it.

That said: I've always liked your Mom, cyborg! LOL!

[international american]

"This was a work to "sound" like a teenager. Who ever did this is trying to get sex-ed into the elementary schools."

Dump on the parents,then promote sex-ed..too transparent:)

[cyborg]

My mom is a trip. My father 'bless his soul' sat me down once and said, I'll kill you, I'll just kill you if you have sex so don't have any! *LOL*

[tiamat]

LOL!

Good for Dad!

Too many Daddies can't be bothered.

Girls need a strong male figure in their life.

If they do not get one, they will go out and FIND one...

Practically every teen-age girl I know who has gotten herself into "trouble" that way, has had a father who couldn't be bothered to take an interest, or who simply bailed.

[international american]

Sounds like dad is a "straight to the point" kinda guy:)

[Long Cut]

Yep. Besides, 13-yr-olds know perfectly well what a condom is for and how it is used, and they also have a pretty good idea how "the act" is performed. Don't forget, even if the schools do not teach sex ed, the Internet CAN, and in ways FAR, FAR beyond the "sperm and the egg". When I was 13, I was quite curious about sex, and I'm sure young girls would be as well.

One of the mistakes I think parents sometimes make is UNDERESTIMATING what their children know and are exposed to. In a way, it's normal; no Daddy wants to think that his "Lil' Princess" has even HEARD of sex, but nowadays, for her safety if nothing else, he must assume it, ESPECIALLY at age 13.

I'm 36 now. I first heard of sex in the third grade from my buddies, and that was in Catholic School! How early do you think they're hearing it NOW?

[cyborg]

He sure was LOL

[AnAmericanMother]

I write for a living.

This was written by an adult masquerading as a child. The language veers back and forth between adult psychobabble ("influenced", "specialness", "addictive") and what an adult thinks a teenager should sound like - using "me" for "I", "really bad", "stuff like," etc.

It's also internally inconsistent in its reasoning as well as its language.

It's a fraud, guys.

[Long Cut]

"Dump on the parents,then promote sex-ed..too transparent:)"

Spot on. Notice how the parents are made out the villains in the piece? "She" constantly speaks of how they "didn't talk to her", and then they oh-so-cruelly put her in a home. This is .paint-by-numbers propaganda

[cyborg]

He was pretty old fashioned, so left my mother to do all the education. That doesn't mean he never gave his opinion which is how it should be. Moms should educate the daughters (unless there's a single parent situation) and dad's should talk to sons. I wish there was more of a focus on boys, because a lot of the sex ed, unwanted pregnancy and abortion focus is usually on girls. Almost all the girls around my sister and I got pregnant in their teens which is sad, and I'm positive it was due to the bad family situation.

[cyborg]

I don't even think a conservative or a fundamentalist wrote this piece. I would not be surprised if this was the work of a lib, or worse Mark Morford found a new writing outlet!

[wingster]

DING..DING..DING..DING!!!

"I became addicted to the feeling of being loved because I wasn’t getting enough love from my family."

HELLO!!!

Hello divorced parents, two income families not at home for their own kids, parents more interested in the amenities of life than in their own kids welfare!!!!!!

[netmilsmom]

Actually, I know more kids who would use "specialness" than adults.

I guess my nieces and nephews are too old and my kids too young to fit into this age group.