What Do About Female Promiscuity (Why Daughters Need Fathers As Much As Sons)

Jerusalem Post ^ | 3/31/04 | Shmuley Boteach

[goldstategop]

We've all heard the argument for why sons need the guidance of their fathers. Here Shmuley Boteach lays out the case for why daughters need to look up to their fathers. The reason is simple: so they have a role model who can show them what to expect from a man. So when they finally look for a boyfriend and then a future husband they won't open their legs to win in bed what they were missing from an absent father in the home. Why do daughters need fathers around? So they know a man can be trusted and relied upon and that there's more to a relationship than a bout of shallow sex. The last thing a woman needs to do is not to please a man but to make sure he pleases her by living up to her standards. With the former element, a woman who lives to have men take advantage of her and her body is the notion of the tramp or slut. In contrast, the latter ideal of womanhood is what we used to call a lady.

[xzins]

Father/Daughter bump.

It's hard to innoculate kids against this post-Christian culture, but it will take both a father and a mother for both sons and daughters.

It has long struck the moral conservatives that it's the father who has been and continues to be viciously attacked in secular media art, sitcoms, etc.

Generally, he's portrayed as a dunce EXCEPT when he spouts relativist moral nonsense in AGREEMENT with the woman/mother who most often is the carrier of the party line. Generally, he has to be carefully led to these politically correct ideas from the back woods of morality (normally portrayed as bigotry.....see most fathers from Archie Bunker to Tim Taylor, etc.)

[tm22721]

There is a simple cure, aspirin.

Placed betweeen the knees.

BUMP

[gakrak]

I have three sons and two daughters, it takes a lot more work to bring up the daughters and of course the goal is that they become what we all want a women to be a LADY.

[Tax-chick]

Good article. Boteach hits one out of the park occasionally.

[Rifleman]

Agreed, but he left out one important aspect. A girl that grows up with a father present is more likely to be a real pro at manipulating men to get what she wants.

"Daaaadie, can I......?" (Head tilt, hair toss.)

And is thus a much tougher target for the manipulative males who want only to get in her pants.

:-)

[xsmommy]

newish daddy ping ; )

[Hegewisch Dupa]

Hard to believe someone could put 'Girls GOne Wild' in a negative light, but this piece nails it.

[xsmommy]

it is definitely something that confirmed pervs, such as yourself, have to deal with, when they birth a baby daughter...

[Hegewisch Dupa]

My master plan is to not potty train her. I mean, if I'm on a date and say Mariel Hemingway fill up her jeans in my car, well hell, even I'm not going there.

[cupcakes]

And when a daughter receives strong masculine validation from a loving and caring father, she is usually not desperate for sexual attention from manipulative and hormonal men.
___

Having been a girl without this type of role model(and my dad lived with us in the same house, but he was not a loving and caring father), I absolutely agree with this.
I think the absence of a father whether physically or spiritually accounts for a lot of the teenage pregnancy crap and girls giving service under school tables.
I thank God everyday for my hubby. My daughter is his sidekick since he will often take her with him to games(he does photography for community/school sport's events), the store, etc. She just adores him and his influence I hope will help guide her through those teenage years.

[hobbes1]

Hard to believe someone could put 'Girls GOne Wild' in a negative light, but this piece nails it.

No it doesn't. They are someone elses daughters.

Now let me find that damned remote.....

[FITZ]

Recently the New York Times ran a front-page story about a 15-year-old girl who refused to have sex with her 16-year-old boyfriend. He promptly cheated on her. When the girlfriend found out, she told her boyfriend that they should cut class and go and have sex. She did so, she said, "in order to keep him."

There is a lot of this in this area --- and that 15 year girl sees her 32 year old mother doing the exact same thing. They grow up seeing mom bring boyfriend after boyfriend home, no standards or restraint at all.

[xsmommy]

that is a real plan, HD... ; )

[John O]

A girl will always seek out a man like her father. Some will seek out any man because their father was so remote or absent that she didn't know him. This is why children of abusive men often marry abusive men.

This is why it is so crucially important for a father of a girl to be an upstanding, righteous, loving father.

We need to be the sort of man our daughters will want to marry.

No that's not right.

We need to be the sort of man that we want our daughters to marry

No that's still not right

We need to be the sort of man that God wants our daughters to marry.

One last point. Many men distance themselves from their daughters when their daughters hit puberty. That is, they become uncomfortable with letting their little girl sit on their laps etc when their little girl starts looking like a woman. This is a huge mistake. Even if her body is looking more like her mother's, in her heart she is still your little girl and she needs to be held and loved by her father. Pushing her away at this time will just push her to some other man who will give her attention, but not in the wholesome non-sexual way that her father would.

[John O]

A girl that grows up with a father present is more likely to be a real pro at manipulating men to get what she wants.

"Daaaadie, can I......?" (Head tilt, hair toss.)

And is thus a much tougher target for the manipulative males who want only to get in her pants.

Aint this the truth. I have a 3 1/2 year old daughter who is astonishingly good looking (people stop us at the mall just to get a better look and have since she was a baby). She's already learned how to flirt with her eyes to get what she wants. I pity the guys she'll grow up with. They won't know what hit them.

(Of course daddy is mostly immune to this.)

[Tax-chick]

"Daaaadie, can I......?" (Head tilt, hair toss.)

I think you've met some of my daughters!

[ZinGirl]

Agreed, but he left out one important aspect. A girl that grows up with a father present is more likely to be a real pro at manipulating men to get what she wants.

No, he didn't leave it out....that's not the kind of dad he's talking about. He's talking about a REAL dad, not a milquetoast, anything-my-baby-wants-my-baby-can-have kind of dad. He's talking about a dad with backbone and morals and the gonads to not crumble at a daughter throwing the Bambi-eyed "oh, daaaaaaadie, puhleeease" crap when she wants something.

[NativeNewYorker]

I have a 3 1/2 year old daughter who is astonishingly good looking (people stop us at the mall just to get a better look and have since she was a baby). She's already learned how to flirt with her eyes to get what she wants. I pity the guys she'll grow up with. They won't know what hit them.

My five year old was/is the same way.

When the boys come for her, I'll smile and say "Good luck!"

[stainlessbanner]

bttt