Live and learn from my loss (Cynthia Tucker)

The Atlanta Journal Constitution ^ | March 5, 2003 | Cynthia Tucker

[where's_the_Outrage?]

It has been 20 years since he died -- how can that be! -- and I miss him still. He left our lives too soon.

Among his four children, he missed a medical school graduation, two marriages and the birth of his only grandchild. He would have adored her, with her mop of sandy curls and bright brown eyes. He would have set aside the standards of discipline with which he reared his children -- no idle hands, no impudence, no acting out in public (and very little in private) -- to spoil her hopelessly.

My father's death in March 1984, at the age of 57, taught me something about courage. When he learned his colon cancer was terminal, he said his good-byes. He gave final instructions, asking my mother to bury him in a blue coffin. A deacon, he tended to a few leftover church affairs.

As he lay dying, he told my mother he had dreamed about a huge, brilliantly-colored pink rose, and we imagined him forever tending a beautiful rose garden. Even now, we leave bouquets of pink roses on his grave.

My father's death also taught me that he might have lived longer had he had a simple test to detect colon cancer. By the time he was diagnosed in January 1984, the cancer had metastasized to other vital organs, including his liver; he died a mere seven weeks later.

But had he undergone regular colonoscopies starting at age 50, it's quite likely his life -- indeed, his vigorous health -- would have been spared. Colon cancer is among those rare malignancies in which early detection usually ensures a cure. According to experts, if the cancer has not spread beyond the colon, 80 percent to 90 percent of patients are alive after 10 years.

Nevertheless, cancer of the colon or rectum is the second leading cause of cancer-related deaths in the country, the Cancer Research and Prevention Foundation says. While women's advocacy groups have given the battle against breast cancer a glamorous prominence and men have overcome their macho qualms to have tests for prostate cancer, both are in denial about the bigger threat: colo-rectal cancer. It manages to kill so many -- nearly 57,000 Americans are expected to die from it this year -- because less than half of the 80 million Americans at risk for the disease get screening tests.

In collaboration with other health advocacy groups, the Cancer Research and Prevention Foundation has designated March as National Colo-rectal Cancer Awareness Month, urging Americans to get screened. But the prescription is not so easily swallowed. While 91 percent of men age 50 and older know they should be tested for colo-rectal cancer, only 54 percent actually do so, according to a recent survey by the College of American Pathologists.

Compliance is complicated by the fact that Americans remain embarrassed by those particular bodily functions. While we long ago conquered our aversion to public discussions of sex -- witness the spectacular six-year run of HBO's "Sex and the City" -- we remain squeamish about uttering the words "colon" or "rectum." That goes double -- no, squared -- for our reaction to the screening tests, especially the colonoscopy, which is considered the gold standard.

I have friends with a family history of colo-rectal cancer who have had to be dragged, kicking and screaming, to their screening tests. (Julie and Martha, you know who you are.) And I'll admit that I didn't greet my first colonoscopy with a champagne toast. But, having had two, I can tell you they weren't nearly as bad as I'd feared.

My mom and dad had planned a healthy old age together. He'd quit smoking by his early 40s. He exercised. He cut back on greasy Southern cooking. He got annual checkups.

And he looked vigorous and healthy until shortly before his death. In a family album, there's a treasured photo of him standing on his head at a backyard barbecue, delighted that he still could. He was already in his 50s.

But he didn't know that colo-rectal cancer is a crafty and subtle enemy that can sneak up on you, betraying no hint of its invasion until it's too late. He didn't know he needed to be screened.

You know, so get screened. Don't leave your family too soon.

[where's_the_Outrage?]

Great Ariticle by Cynthia. I think this is the 1st Article on of her's that I couldn't find any trace of race or it being the Republicans fault. And she makes a very valid point.

For all Freepers, this one time listen to Cynthia, She's making sense.

As I approach 50, this procedure is on my mind. A co-worker of mine that just had the exam done was able to provide us all documented proof that they couldn't find his head there (I still think he needs a 2nd opinion).

However, the test results came back he was in excellent health there. I told him I had not doubt as I considered him a perfect A$$hole.

[jocon307]

"Great Ariticle by Cynthia."

Yes, this is a good, heartfelt article. It almost makes me think I should go get this test. Or some test. Or, quite frankly, a lot of tests.

And lol about your co-worker!

My boss had this test, he said it was not bad at all, btw.

[SENTINEL]

Make sure doc checks for alien antennas when he's in there.

[Mike Darancette]

Isn't Ms. Tucker the person who hoped that Clarence Thomas' wife would feed him fatty food so that he would die early?

[cyborg]

I tell all my male customers that getting a colorectal exam and a testicle exam is not an affront to their sexuality.

[Keith in Iowa]

>>Isn't Ms. Tucker the person who hoped that Clarence Thomas' wife would feed him fatty food so that he would die early?

I think it was Julianne Malveaux, loudmouth liberal hag that said that.

[mrustow]

The test itself isn't bad -- they put you under. (They tell you that you'll be awake throughout. Yeah, right. One second the anesthesiologist is talking to me, and the next second they're telling me it's all over.) It's the night before, when you you have to down one laxative after another, and drink so many glasses of water, you'll be ready to puke! That's the fun part!

[mrustow]

Compliance is complicated by the fact that Americans remain embarrassed by those particular bodily functions. While we long ago conquered our aversion to public discussions of sex -- witness the spectacular six-year run of HBO's "Sex and the City" -- we remain squeamish about uttering the words "colon" or "rectum." That goes double -- no, squared -- for our reaction to the screening tests, especially the colonoscopy, which is considered the gold standard.

One really stupid paragraph, though. First of all, Sex and the City gets anemic ratings, compared to network hits, and the fact that people watch a show about stupid New York sluts who talk all about their sex lives in public, doesn't mean that many real people do that, even in New York.

[Dave Olson]

My boss had this test, he said it was not bad at all, btw.

I agree. I had one done last year. The worst part of it was the preparation the night before -- you have to drink this nasty stuff and then spend the next few hours on the procelain throne getting cleaned out. But the procedure itself was no problem.

[mean lunch lady]

My husband has an uncle who has had this procedure done a few times over the years and he says it isn't bad- of course, he is missing half a lung and some ribs and has emphysema and an anyuerism(sic) that is inoperable and has been pronounced dead twice, so who knows what he considers bad?

[mrustow]

ROTFLMAO!

[Criminal Number 18F]

Given all the warm and fuzzy feelings generated by this public service announcement masquerading as a Cynthia "I Emote, therefor I need not THINK" Tucker column, I'm probably a bad guy for saying: no surprise that her family has a history of butt-hole cancer.

She could get cancer ANYWHERE on her self and it would still be...

d.o.l.

Criminal Number 18F

[NYCVirago]

Bump for a most excellent column!

[SJSAMPLE]

I'm pretty sure that was Julianne Malveaux.

[InABunkerUnderSF]

Deeply sorry to hear about her father, and somewhat surprised she didn't find some way to blame it on Reagan -or the Republicans in general.

I did the colonoscopy thing at 45. One piece of advice - if the option is available go for the MRI "virtual" version.

The guy my GP referred me to for the test was "questionable" in the San Francisco sense and insisted on playing "Goin' Up 'Round The Bend" by Credence at the start of the test.

While I know people who might have enjoyed the experience, it was not a good afternoon for me. It did feel REAL good though when the results came back negative.

[Hildy]

I had the same experience has Cynthia..HOWEVER, my father did have regular check-ups, SIGMOIDOSCOPIES (SP?), etc. This is what I learned. Sigmoids are for crap. They said this cancer had been in his body for years. I don't understand how they didn't catch it. He was going to Dr's all the time, doing exactly what they told him to. If I had any strength after his death I would have made a scene.

[Hildy]

I had the same experience has Cynthia..HOWEVER, my father did have regular check-ups, SIGMOIDOSCOPIES (SP?), etc. This is what I learned. Sigmoids are for crap. They said this cancer had been in his body for years. I don't understand how they didn't catch it. He was going to Dr's all the time, doing exactly what they told him to. If I had any strength after his death I would have made a scene.

[Lurker]

Why would anyone think it was?

L

[cyborg]

You would be surprised. I has one customer that refused to get ANY exams and now he is dead.

[Lurker]

Are you a doctor? I know when my MD tells me to get a test, I'm on the phone scheduling it that very day.

It's not that I'm afraid of dying, I just don't want to die for a stupid reason like not listening to my doctor.

LOL.

Regards,

L

P.S. Nice home page BTW.