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"Homosexual Marriage Doesn't Effect My Marriage" (VANITY)
03/09/2004 | DameAutour

Posted on 03/09/2004 11:03:15 AM PST by DameAutour

In a recent discussion concerning homosexual marriage, a conservative said "I really don't care since it doesn't impact my marriage". This comment reminded me of those who say that the solution is to "get government out of marriage altogether" or "make all marriages civil unions". They believe that the issue is one of policy and linguistic technicalities. But in reality, the social impact on our civilization is much more profound.

For homosexual marriage will effect not only your marriage, but your entire family structure. It will effect the culture and values of your community and ultimately, that of your children.

When marriage no longer means "the committed union of one man and one woman", it can come to mean virtually anything. How does that effect you? Do you say that you will know the value of your own marriage no matter what? But marriage is not just about your love. Otherwise, there would be no need to get married at all. Marriage is a public testament to your commitment. Even in the days before churches or the government were so intimately involved in marriage, witnesses were still required. Marriage has always been a public affair.

When you stand before the public and say, "I am married to this person", what will that mean?

When feelings are elevated above morality and sound reasoning, the effect can be devastating. There must be always be a balance between emotions, sound judgement and moral behavior. Emotions join people together and strengthen the social compact. Rationality promotes objectivity, debate and the logical thinking necessary to propel us forward. And objective morality keeps our actions grounded in a higher plane and our expectations elevated.

But the push to change the meaning of marriage ignores sound reasoning and antiquates societal morality. Proponents of homosexual marriage give little thought to the consequences of their actions, and this should give any conservative pause. Their morality is subjective and relative, and "feels good" means "good". If this is how the establishment of marriage is to be refashioned, what else will be sacrificed on the altar of pleasure?

Will hedonism be the most important philosophy of the new Western civilization?

Years ago, no-fault divorce and painless annulments were introduced to the American people. When Britney Spears marries and destroys a marriage in the span of a weekend, it cheapens the institution of marriage even for those who really did mean "til death do us part". Their children see that marriage is just a fun thing to do when you're in Las Vegas. Because of no-fault divorce, immorality no longer meant anything when it came to the dissolution of this committed union. Now it seems morality will mean nothing in the joining of this committed union.

When the moral weight is stripped from the fiber of your marriage, can you really say it wasn't effected?

If marriage means whatever our feelings want it to mean, how do you convey that to your children? How do you impress upon them the significance of marriage when you can't even tell them what it means because the definition keeps changing? What reasons will you give them for getting married at all, if the decisions and sacrifices they make as part of that committment won't even be acknowledged by their own government? If the neighbors to your right have a "group marriage" while the neighbors to your left have a "homosexual marriage", then what does that make your marriage? Are all unions equal in meaning and significance? And since "equal" doesn't mean "the same", what will you say when the divorce rate skyrockets as a result of "homosexual marriages" that will last an average of 2 years? How will you teach your children the true meaning of marriage when every TV commercial, school book and pamphlet will undermine it? With all the confusion will you even remember what marriage is?

If marriage loses its importance and significance, how can you say it wasn't effected?


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: civilunion; gaymarriage; homosexual; homosexualagenda; homosexualmarriage; marriage; prisoners; samesexmarriage
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To: antiRepublicrat
Yet I don't see anyone pushing for an amendment to end no-fault divorce or quick annulments.

There are many people who are strongly opposed to no-fault divorce and quick annulments, and they've been fighting these things for years. I believe that they're pushing to end no-fault divorce in Texas. "Homosexual marriage" would have a negative impact on society just as no-fault divorce has. The relative outrage of their opponents matters little.

I can say my marriage wasn't affected, and that's all I care about.

What do you mean by your marriage? What's marriage? You're taking a "head in the sand" approach. Marriage is a public institution and it always has been. The public perception of your marriage will change and it simply won't be as important or significant. The commitment that you made will have been diluted in the eyes of society. Certainly, "homosexual marriage" will have an impact on your own marriage, it's just one you will ignore, and hope your children will. When your marriage becomes a "civil union" overnight, then can you say it wasn't effected?

21 posted on 03/09/2004 11:49:47 AM PST by DameAutour (It's not Bush, it's the Congress.)
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To: TMD
She snottily said "Well, I guess the scouts aren't very tolerant are they? I refuse to support them." and huffed away. What kind of society do we have for our children when cub scouts can be lambasted by adults

I personally disapprove of the Scouts' exclusion of gays and atheists and would never give to the corporate structure, but I just can't say no to some kids trying to make money for a trip or other activity. Why should they suffer because of the actions of the leadership?

22 posted on 03/09/2004 11:52:42 AM PST by antiRepublicrat
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To: DameAutour; newgeezer
title--"Homosexual Marriage Doesn't Effect My Marriage" (VANITY)

The butterfly effect is real.

23 posted on 03/09/2004 11:53:49 AM PST by biblewonk (I must try to answer all bible questions.)
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To: TMD
Without the "tampering" of those with such odd ideas, children seem to have more common sense than these "enlightened fools". My six and nine year old thought the idea of a man and a man or a woman and a woman was just downright hilarious. It seemed silly to them that anyone other than a man and woman would get married.
24 posted on 03/09/2004 11:55:23 AM PST by HungarianGypsy
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To: DameAutour
Marriage is a public institution and it always has been. The public perception of your marriage will change and it simply won't be as important or significant. ... When your marriage becomes a "civil union" overnight, then can you say it wasn't effected?

I don't care what other people think, as it changes our bond not one bit. I actually prefer the "civil union" route. The government has no business in marriage except as it applies to taxes and inheritance, which could be covered by civil union. To me it implies they have some say in or sanction of our union. Let marriages be a private, non-governmental affair performed by churches or other institutions -- institutions that can exclude whomever they want.

25 posted on 03/09/2004 11:58:05 AM PST by antiRepublicrat
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To: antiRepublicrat
Believe me, we keep very careful track of our kids on the internet and regularly monitor the history. This was how we discovered it- he was too scared to tell us about it...he has been counseled about what to do next time. It's sad because there will undoubtedly be a "next time".

I feel like I'm holding my finger in the proverbial dike (pardon the expression) and rapidly running out of fingers and toes when it comes to the different ways our kids can get bombarded by total crap!

It is just so sad that our kids can't be kids and worry about kid things and kid fun.....
26 posted on 03/09/2004 11:59:45 AM PST by TMD (If you think health care is expensive now, just wait until it's free!)
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To: HungarianGypsy
It seemed silly to them that anyone other than a man and woman would get married.

Only because they learned that concept from you, and had it reinforced by their environment. In a world where "gay marriage" is commonplace, kids won't ever develop that "common sense".

27 posted on 03/09/2004 12:02:14 PM PST by Mr. Jeeves
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Comment #28 Removed by Moderator

To: antiRepublicrat
Then you want your marriage to be impacted, you want it to become a civil union. As I said, it is not right to say there will be no impact on your marriage. It is just an impact that you "don't mind".
29 posted on 03/09/2004 12:12:27 PM PST by DameAutour (It's not Bush, it's the Congress.)
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To: TMD
Believe me, we keep very careful track of our kids on the internet and regularly monitor the history.

If the site operator used a misleading domain name then, for all of our sakes, take that to the prosecutor pronto! He can get four years in jail for, for example, having "harrypottr.com" point to porn. Here's the law (pdf file) and the story of the first conviction.

Please please please look at the history and tell me he used a misleading domain name.

30 posted on 03/09/2004 12:14:42 PM PST by antiRepublicrat
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To: DameAutour
Then you want your marriage to be impacted, you want it to become a civil union.

The label on my marriage means nothing. IIRC, my marriage is more of a civil union than a "marriage under god" under the laws of the country I was married in. Makes no difference to me.

31 posted on 03/09/2004 12:16:59 PM PST by antiRepublicrat
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To: DameAutour
Those are good thoughts. But the morality of it is the question that most of us focus on. Do you really think that homosexual, trans , bi's) whatever, care a tinker's dam about marriage. From their perspective, it is all about MONEY! We are talking about Social Security going broke as it is--but what they want is to siphon off more of our money to fund their lifestyle--your retirement, your health benefits, etc. But I am not hearing any of our reps talking about this issue. It is like focusing on the real reason the government raises taxes on smoking --they manage to wedge it into strictly a moral issue instead of the issues being both moral and financial. I am hoping that all Americans, both liberal and conservative, fight this abomination on all grounds.
32 posted on 03/09/2004 12:18:53 PM PST by richardtavor (Pray for the peace of Jerusalem in the name of the G-d of Jacob)
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To: DameAutour
"In a recent discussion concerning homosexual marriage, a conservative said "I really don't care since it doesn't impact my marriage"."

I find this attitude a bit disturbing.
33 posted on 03/09/2004 12:19:25 PM PST by TheDon (John Kerry, self proclaimed war criminal, Democratic Presidential nominee)
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To: TMD
Come on, you'll be the hero of FR for getting a conviction on one of these guys.
34 posted on 03/09/2004 12:19:36 PM PST by antiRepublicrat
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To: DameAutour
you will teach your children by having a good marriage in your own house. that should be enough even with the outside negative influences. i don't necessarily condone or speak out against same-sex marriage...yet. i do, however, repsect the separation of church and state and that chasm seems to be growing smaller which does scare me. if you don't want your CHURCH to recognize a union, fine. but do not push for a constitutional amendment against the union. these people want to be recognized by the state so they can have the same rights as everyone else in terms of taxes, benefits, etc... if anyone tells me why they should not be extended these same privileges then i will listen. one thing though: you may not bring religion into the argument at all.
35 posted on 03/09/2004 12:21:03 PM PST by thefactor
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To: richardtavor
Do you really think that homosexual, trans , bi's) whatever, care a tinker's dam about marriage.

I knew some who did. Unlike me, they cared about the "marriage" label for their decade-plus relationship. Still, the idea of two women being "married" is just too wierd for me. They can hijack the definition all they want to include same-sex, but it won't affect me or my family since we know the original meaning -- just like "discrimination" has been hijacked to a negative meaning but I know it's a good word.

36 posted on 03/09/2004 12:26:06 PM PST by antiRepublicrat
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To: antiRepublicrat
We don't have access to it anymore, but will keep it in mind when/if it happens again. We stopped trying to get anything done when we were ignored by AOL after reporting spammers that were e-mailing our kids. We simply quit AOL. Thanks for the advice.
37 posted on 03/09/2004 12:27:31 PM PST by TMD (If you think health care is expensive now, just wait until it's free!)
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To: DameAutour
Go get married in a Synagogue or Temple if you are Jewish.
Then Halacha will define your marriage.

Go get married in a Catholic Mass if you are Catholic.
Then Catholic values will define your marriage.

Go get married in a Protestant service if you are Protestant.
Then Protestant values will define your marriage.

What the secular world does or does not condone should not affect your values.

Rise above the crowd, be better and more aware of your own shortcomings, rather than the shortcomings that you perceive in others.
38 posted on 03/09/2004 12:32:05 PM PST by RonHolzwarth (Jewish viewpoint here!)
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Comment #39 Removed by Moderator

Comment #40 Removed by Moderator


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