Molly Ivins: Bushies just get sillier and sillier (Large Intestine Vocal Chords Shining Through)

The Salt Lake Tribune ^ | 08 March 2004 | Molly Ivins

[MegaSilver]

AUSTIN, Texas -- So the Democrats have a candidate at last, and he is about bent over double with gravitas. I think that means he doesn't a have humorous bone in his body. It's a good thing there's at least one serious person in this race -- the Bushies are getting sillier and sillier.

Just when you thought no one could top Rod Paige calling the teacher's union "a terrorist organization," along comes Veep Cheney with this gem, "If Democratic policies had been pursued over the last two-to-three years, the kind of tax increases both Kerry and Edwards are talking about, we would not have had the kind of job growth that we've had."

Uh, in the first place, Kerry and Edwards are not talking about tax increases at all, but about repealing part of Bush's tax cuts -- so we would have had no tax cuts, not tax increases. And in the second place, if losing 2.3 million jobs is "job growth," Dick Cheney is a laugh riot.

We've got a $500 billion deficit this year, and Bush's idea of a solution is to make his tax cuts permanent, a move that would cost about $1.5 trillion over the next 10 years. Their other helpful suggestion is to redefine burger-flipping as "manufacturing jobs" (are these people never serious?). And if they can't redefine the problem out of existence, there's always the option of just announcing bad is good. Think how surprised we were to learn from Gregory Mankiw, chairman of Bush's Council of Economic Advisers: "Outsourcing is just a new way of doing international trade. . . . More things are tradable than were tradable in the past, and that's a good thing."

I also like the dodge where Bush claims the reason there's a $500 billion deficit is because, "We're at war." Unfortunately, the cost of Iraq is not even included in the budget: It's going to be a supplemental surprise request after the election. Does any of this strike you as grown-up behavior? Or even grown-up behavior-related program activities?

The dramatic-upward-cost surprise is getting to be a regular feature with the Bushies. Congress and the Prez passed a horrible Medicare drug bill and then, oops, a week later announced it cost $134 billion more than the advertised $400 billion. That's a 35 percent oops.

You may consider it churlish of me to still be holding a grudge over the fact that at least 45 percent of Bush's tax cuts went to the richest 1 percent of the people in this country, but it's the kind of thing I get reminded of frequently. For example, the news that 375,000 people exhausted their unemployment in January, the highest number ever recorded for a single month, reminds me of that top 1 percent.

Then we had gladsome tidings last month that Bush would appoint an "independent commission" to find out why the Bush administration kept telling us that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction and ties to al-Qaida. This commission to investigate "intelligence failures" is co-chaired by Judge Laurence Silberman, a passionate, partisan, right-wing Republican who remained a right-wing political activist even while serving on the bench.

One symptom of the fundamental unseriousness of the Bushies is that they never, ever admit they are wrong. Nor do they pay penalties for being wrong. What do you have to do to get fired in that outfit? They canned Paul O'Neill for telling the truth -- that seems to be fatal. On the other hand, when CIA Director George Tenet said intelligence "analysts never said there was an imminent threat" from Iraq, he wasn't cashiered -- they just pretended they didn't hear him.

It is already a truism that this will be an event-driven election, and the spiraling chaos in Haiti and the horrendous coordinated bombings in Iraq remind us that it is good to have grown-ups in charge when serious things happen.

Leading so far in the Most Imaginative Suggestion for Democratic veep is Eric Alterman for nominating John McCain and Stephen Gillers for suggesting Bill Clinton.

Look at it this way: Even with a couple of bores like Kerry and Cheney talking for the rest of the year (with Bush you get the occasional Bushism), at least it won't be as boring as this year's Oscars.

[MegaSilver]

I bust a gut reading this column. Good ole' Molly.

By the way, Ms. Ivins, I shouldn't even humor you, but for the record... the NEA IS a terrorist organization. Their own remarks about their relationship to the teachers of America betray that. So, PPPPBBBBTTTTH!

[CWOJackson]

"...the Bushies are getting sillier and sillier."

Strange how Molly Ivans sounds so much like some of the disgruntled third party types around here.

[Extremely Extreme Extremist]

Molly Ivins? Is this clown still around?

[Callahan]

Why the f is Molly still in this country? Why doesn't she move to Sweden where her ingenious policies have already been brought to fruition?

[Paul Atreides]

She's been pickled.

[Old Sarge]

mad Cow Disease.

[Paul Atreides]

Poison Ivins and The Dowdy One could get married.

[Callahan]

Is Molly still cavorting with that crypto-lesbian drunk, Ma Richards?

[muawiyah]

Not only is Molly Ivins a terrorist, she is also part of AlQaida's ground support team.

[SeeRushToldU_So]

This POS needs to retire to Mexico. What a waste of ink.

[tet68]

MO - lly Irvins.
MO - reen Dowd.

Coincidence? I THINK NOT!

OooOooOooOo!

[sam_paine]

Strange how Molly Ivans sounds so much like some of the disgruntled third party types around here.

Strange how Molly Ivans sounds so much like some of the disgruntled third grader types...

[M Kehoe]

Molly will go to her grave hating the Bushs. It's what she does.

Sad.

5.56mm

[Fun Bob]

"Uh, in the first place, Kerry and Edwards are not talking about tax increases at all, but about repealing part of Bush's tax cuts -- so we would have had no tax cuts, not tax increases. "

No matter how you try to spin it. Increasing the tax rate is a tax hike. Saying you are going to put it at its previous high level and wipe the slate clean with no tax hike (pretending like the last couple of years never happened) is disingenuous.

miserable failure miserable failure miserable failure miserable failure war criminal

[Petronski]

Their other helpful suggestion is to redefine burger-flipping as "manufacturing jobs" (are these people never serious?). And if they can't redefine the problem out of existence, there's always the option of just announcing bad is good. Think how surprised we were to learn from Gregory Mankiw, chairman of Bush's Council of Economic Advisers: "Outsourcing is just a new way of doing international trade. . . . More things are tradable than were tradable in the past, and that's a good thing."

She's . . . . gulp . . . . right.

[ChuckHam]

Give her the cure for mad cow disease.....Midol.

[driftless]

The mere fact that a far-left scribbler like Ivins is considered to be a mainstream columnist reveals the sad state of America and American journalism. My dear old Mom regards Red Molly as a genius and a champion who fights those greedy Republicans. I've repeatedly tried to point out to my very socially conservative mother how much of a far left socialist Molly is to no avail. Of course Ivins is too much of a chicken to admit that she's a socialist. Progressive is the euphemism they like to use to describe themselves. Commie is more like it.

[Number_Cruncher]

Kerry likes to imitate Kennedy.

JFK had a VP from Texas.

Kerry will probably want a VP from TX.

Molly Ivins is from TX.

Ergo, Molly Ivins will be Kerry's VP nominee.

Think about it.

[Viking2002]

Every day, I keep hoping against hope that I'll open my browser, and Drudge will have a headline screaming, 'Liberal Pundit Molly Ivins Killed In Freak Train Crossing Accident'.

[michaelt]

Uh, in the first place, Kerry and Edwards are not talking about tax increases at all, but about repealing part of Bush's tax cuts -- so we would have had no tax cuts, not tax increases.

By this "logic" alcohol was never illegal in this country.