Why are we Haitied so much? The Haiti invasion and the French-looking Candidate
On Sunday morning, the scene was pure anarchy. To have called it a very chaotic situation would be putting it mildly. The whole thing looked very troubling. Confusion reigned as the free-for-all pandemonium -- the disarray and tumult -- grew wilder and wilder. As the cameras panned, zooming in on the militants, I could swear these guys looked high on drugs or something. Some looked like zombies. Others looked like plain hooligans or jailbirds. The clashes were fierce. Things were spiraling out of control. The notion these thugs could drive a president from office and provide security still seems ludicrous to me. There was so much turmoil, sooooo much upheaval, soooooooo much fighting, I couldn't help wondering, 'Will there be a bloodbath?'
But enough on the Democrat debate last Sunday (aired on CBS).
By the way, have you heard about the situation in Haiti? Sensing an imminent threat posed by Weapons of Mass Disturbance in Port-au-Prince, Democrat Sen. John Francois Kerry blasted the President for refusing to Rush To War in Haiti. What was Bush waiting for? For Haiti to attack the U.S. first? (Why, within just 45 minutes, the Ton Ton Macoutes could've deployed their long-range, ballistic machetes and bayonets, threatening a stiletto-shaped cloud over New York!)
Kerry was having none of this Win Without War stuff. Not when it comes to the latest global crisis in Haiti. With Americans across the U.S. feeling threatened by gangs in Port-au-Prince, Kerry ripped the peacenik Bush administration for ignoring Haiti, which recently plunged into turmoil 200 years ago. "I never would have allowed (Haiti) to get out of control the way it did," said the swashbuckling, rootin-tootin, gun-slinging Warmonger from Massachusetts in last Sunday's debate. Rather than acting pre-emptively, Bush waited too long, Kerry argued. 200 years! "He's late, as usual," said Kerry, bitterly. "This president always makes decisions late after things have happened that could have been different had he made a decision earlier," added Kerry. Bush acts as if going to war should be a matter of last resort or something. With the U.S. threatened by stockpiles of rioters and looters in Haiti, a president should not wait to go through the U.N., nor build a legitimate coalition. Internationalizing the effort -- and postwar planning to win the peace -- means wasting precious time. With America's way of life at stake on the streets of Haiti, it's time we couldn't afford to waste, Kerry insists. Military action in Haiti should never hinge on U.N. approval. If ever a case could be made for building a Fraudulent Coalition, Going-It-Alone, invading and occupying, it was Haiti. (Effective line of attack for Kerry? Nah. He's late, as usual. This Kerry guy always makes decisions late after things have happened that could have been different had he made a decision earlier).
Besides, in Haiti, Bush had a message for the influence peddlers, for the polluters, for the looters, the big drug traffickers that got in the way, the big special interests who called Aristide's palace their home: 'We're coming. You're going. And don't let the door hit you on the way out.' Aristide's departure triggered chaos across the Democrat Party.
In a telephone interview Monday with the Associated Press, the hated dictator denied he was hated and said he was "forced to leave" by U.S. troops, remarks which sent tinfoil stocks soaring off the charts on Wall Street. Rep. Charles Rangle (D-Port-au-Prince), worried that swift regime change in Haiti could help Bush's standing in polls, accused U.S. troops of swift regime change in Haiti and of brutally kidnapping Aristide. (Go ahead -- play with my heart strings, why don't you?) Congresscritter Maxine Waters (D-Landoffruitsandnuts) also accused U.S. troops of brutally kidnapping Aristide. Aristide was so brutally kidnapped, that a video released by the Central African Republic showed him descending from a plane with no military escort.
In fact, so brutally kidnapped was Aristide that he forgot to say anything about being brutally kidnapped to a Caribbean Official he chatted via phone with from a refueling stop in Antigua. (Must've just slipped his mind. Aristide's 'mind' is the most secure location insanity has available). The Caribbean Official said Aristide said nothing about being kidnapped. Aristide also forgot to mention he was brutally kidnapped when he spoke on state radio Monday in the Central African Republic, in broadcasts carried nationwide. But that was before Congresscritters Waters and Rangle reminded Aristide that he was brutally kidnapped. The U.S. denied the allegations. "Absolutely baseless, absurd," said Secretary of State Colin Powell Monday. (Frankly, this kidnapping stuff is beyond baseless and absured. Look, Aristide might not have been an angel, but he was no danger to America like that brutal and corrupt, 6-year-old-dictator-kid, Elian Gonzalez!) The question of whether Aristide was kidnapped could be settled easily, I think. Order him to turn over several pair of diapers he's worn recently. If they ain't soiled, that's evidence his stepping down was voluntary.
Regardless, Rangle says Bush fueled the ouster of the hated dictator, affirming he's the first democratically elected president-for-life in Haiti. (So deeply commited to democracy was Aristide, he sought to foster democracy by liquidating rivals, suppressing dissent, looting foreign aid money. But, hey, don't thank him -- it's just another day at the office for Aristide, son of a mill worker who saw two Haitis after sawing Haiti in two. In the evenings, exhausted after doing so much democracy, he'd relax by absorbing the fictional works of fellow democracy champion, Karl Marx). Bush "was just as much a part of this coup d'etat as the rebels, as the looters," charged Rangle Sunday on ABC's The Week. No doubt the rebels and looters, chanting '200 more years!!!', were rebelling and looting because of fuel from Bush's tax cuts for Halliburton which fueled Aristide to be murderous and corrupt. (I knew OIL would be dragged into this). Rather than doing the sensible thing -- invading sooner to prop up an unpopular dictator -- "we really have let Haiti down," Rangle lamented. (Think about it. Here's Haiti, a country that has absolutely nothing to do with the War on Terror, poses no immediate threat to U.S. security -- finally, a cause worth fighting for! say Democrats). Rangle added that "it's really disappointing. We encouraged the coup" to get rid of a murderous dictator. (The Taliban, Saddam, Howell Raines -- all gone. So sad! Now this? Who's next in this harvest of sorrow? Castro? If Bush isn't stopped soon, he'll plunge the whole world into freedom!)
To be fair, I've been told by well-placed sources Aristide hasn't killed or tortured anyone . . . since Sunday, when he bravely fled into exile. (So much for his commitment to democracy!) Some say Aristide was destined for a fall. That he had a tin ear for politics, which is true. I bet you could yell Murderer! Torturer! Rapist! Thief! right in his face and his reply would be: 'Flattery will get you no where.' Then again, except for the killing and torture and thieving, he's a pretty low-key kind of guy, some might say. Others might say his patrician style is a turn off; that he's too aloof, too elitist, too much an insider, too dull a speaker -- his penchant for rambling speeches is now legendary; that he waffles too much and never gives straight answers to questions (first, he said he gave Bush authority to invade; now he says he's against the invasion because of the way he was handled). His basic problem is he comes across with all the authenticity of a San Francisco gay marriage license. And he fails to connect with people (though, to be fair, he did try to connect with people. Using cattle prods during friendly interrogation sessions for detainees. Though sparks would fly during those, the technique was seen as overreach).
Deposed and rejected, Aristide now sees the media spotlight move elsewhere. The same brutal phenomenon awaits John Kerry, now without the Breck Girl as foil to run against in the primaries (be careful what you wish for). Low on cash, having shot his wad, it's all downhill from here for the French-looking candidate.
Don't ya love it when a plan comes together so beautifully?
Anyway, that's...
My Two Cents
"JohnHuang2"
