The Passion of the Christ: Blooper Reel

The Morning News ^ | March 2, 2004 | Paul Ford

[CJ Wolf]

(Translated from Aramaic and Latin)

Pontius Pilate (Hristo Shopov) stands with the scourged and thorn-crowned Jesus (James Caviezel) before a throng of Jews, all of whom shout for Christ's crucifixion. Pilate has a bowl of water brought to him so he can wash his hands' of Christ's condemnation.

Assorted Jews: Crucify him!

Pontius Pilate: I am innocent of the blood of this just; [knocks over bowl of water, which spills down steps] oh, [bleep].

Jesus Christ: [smiling] Good one, Hristo.

Pilate: Nice crown, Jim.

Assorted Jews: [laughter]

Off Camera: Cut!


* * *

Christ, shackled to a stone, is being scourged by Roman soldiers. Blood runs down his gory back. His pain is palpable.

Jesus: [writhes in pain, hands shaking]

[Cell phone rings.]

Jesus: [hands shake furiously]

[Cell phone rings. Caviezel looks up, sheepish.]

Roman soldier: Jim? That you?

Jesus: Yeah.

[Cell phone rings.]

Soldier: Want me to get it?

Jesus: Yeah.

[Roman soldier gingerly reaches into Caviezel's blood-soaked loincloth, pulls out phone and opens it, then holds the phone to Caviezel's ear.]

Off Camera: [laughter]

Jesus: Hey, Mom.


* * *

The Last Supper. Jesus is in the upper room with his disciples. Judas (Luca Lionello) is seated nearby.

Jesus: If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you. If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world ah, Christ.

Judas: Hateth you.

Jesus: Who's on first, right?

Judas: [laughs]

Jesus: [rolls eyes at camera] John could write gospel, but, you know, could he write dialogue?

Off Camera: [laughter] Cut!


* * *

Jesus carries a heavy wooden cross through Jerusalem, assisted by Simon (Jarreth Merz).

Jesus: Wait a second. [puts down cross]

Off Camera: What is it?

Jesus: [wipes right eye] There's something in my eye.

Simon: Oh my God, it's a mote.

Off Camera: [laughter]


* * *

Jesus hangs on the cross, bloodied, in agony.

Take 3

Jesus: My God, my God, why hast thou; [laughing]

Off Camera: [laughter] Forsaken!


Take 4

Jesus: Thanks! Okay. My God, my God, why hast thou[starts giggling]

Off Camera: [laughter]


Take 10

Jesus: I got it. I got it. Hold on. My God, my God, why hast thou argh! [takes breath] Forsaken. Forsaken. Forsaken. Forsaken. Forsaken. Sabachthani, sabachthani, sabachthani. Okay.


Take 12

Jesus: Hey! I can see my house from here.


Take 14

Jesus: My God! Why have you...

[Caviezel is struck by lightning.]

Off Camera: Cut!


Take 35

Off Camera: Come on, Jim.

Jesus: [in terrible anguish] My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?

Off Camera: [Applause]

Off Camera: We got it!




Paul Ford lives in Brooklyn. He writes Ftrain.

[mel]

I loved the cell phone part. Hey mom how sweet

[thoughtomator]

Pfft I found it hilarious!

[AmishDude]

The author made it all up.

[GladesGuru]

There was a prohibition against worshipping "graven images" - really, a prohibition against worship of all things material. Such a prohibition was necessary because man tends to be a visual critter - and thus easily confuses an icon, statue, "golden calf", or a movie, for that which is sacred.

[68 grunt]

Not funny? Hilarious!

[Psalm 73]

"...imagine trying to make that movie and NOT having a laugh or two?"

My opinion? - No, I don't think it was like the set of "CaddyShack".

[thackney]

AMEN!!!!

Hear the message, it is not the movie, but the story already told. As said by many before, Great Movie but the Book is better.

Don't worship this movie. Let it be the reason to remember, to re-think, to read again. But don't worship this movie.

BTTT

[eyespysomething]

How do you know that?

[Radioactive]

Was he struck by lightning before or after he made the comments " I can see my house from here."?

[Lokibob]

My God has a sense of humor. I know this after looking around at my coworkers.

[eyespysomething]

After.

[cuz_it_aint_their_money]

Last Friday, during Rush's show, he had an interview with Jim Caviezel.
Jim told of the time when he was up on the cross and got struck by lightening. As soon as Mel called "Cut", Jim looked up to the Heavens and said "Didn't like that take, huh?"

[Crusher138]

To begin with, I loved the movie. I was moved and it haunts me days after.

That being said let's remember IT WAS JUST A MOVIE!

There was a time in the early Christian church where visual depictions of Jesus were forbidden. Something about some rule "Thou shalt not make unto me any graven image" or some such. Some people took this literally to mean "Don't make any images of God".

Funny thing is, they thought that people might confuse the image of God with the real thing and start treating the image with more reverence than what is due to an object. I can't imagine anyone getting so worked up over a sculpture, or a painting, or a movie, that they forget that it is just a thing created by man and is not meant to be confused with God himself.

I mean, really, you would have to be pretty stupid to treat a thing with the reverence you should be saving for your creator...

[Polybius]

Assorted Jews:........

When Politically Correct Hollywood writes a script about certain Bad Guys from the Government persecuting someone, do they write on the script........."Assorted Gentiles"?

[Lawdoc]

Has Mel got the guts? Are you kidding? After all he is been through I would say that he certainly has the brass to do that. The better question is, would it be appropriate.

I agree that you could not make a movie like that and not have some levity, but others who did not share that experience might well find it in bad taste. That said, I believe Mel will do it (if it is real) if he thinks it best. My best guess is it won't be there.

[Centurion2000]

If it's real bloopers I think it's hilarious

If fake ... pretty poor taste.

[dead]

Seems made up to me.

I'm sure they had some chuckles, but this is just stereotypical and goofy.

[Psalm 73]

"You can climb down off your soapbox, cross, or whatever now."

I just opined that I didn't think it was funny, why the nasty reaction to my two-word opinion?

[eyespysomething]

I don't think so either. Nothing wrong with that.

[Gargantua]

"Why has this movie so taken on a life of its own?"

That's easy. It hasn't.

It has taken on the life of Jesus Christ, the only Name in the history of Mankind powerful enough to forever split all time, from B.C. to A.D.

That is the power in this movie. Gibson was just a tool in the Hands of the one true Master Artist.