Advertisement: The New Liberal Bible!

Patriot Edition's Weblogs ^ | Febuary 27, 2002 | Billy Kess

[PatriotEdition]

Adverisement:

Ladies and gents... Are you sick and tired of Christian "radicals" trying to spread the word of God by quoting those Bible scriptures? Tired of having to know what Leviticus has to say about homosexuality being an abomination? Sick of those lousy, intolerant anti-abortion "fanatics" quoting scriptures about how God knew us when we were still in the womb? Had enough of those stupid 10 commandments?

Well finally, the liberals have done something about it! Not since King James has the Bible been reformed with such intensity! Folks, the liberals have re-wrote the Bible! That's right! With the help of some of the most pristine and pompous editors from the New York Times, they have managed to re-write the ENTIRE THING!

Excerpts from the New Liberal Bible:

Hillary 21:12 "And thou shall hear me roar... The young 12 year old who opens legs shall be allowed to get an abortion without the consent or knowledge of a parent or guardian."

Gore 14:7 "And if a frog be placed into a pot of boiled water, the little fella shall leap out from the water to safety. Anyone who puts the life of a human before the frog shall be deemed bigoted and will burn in the lake of fire."

Clinton 16:14 "Having inappropriate relations with interns while being a married man and the leader of a country shall not be the business of the taxpaying public."

Clinton 21:2 "It all depends on what the meaning of is, is."

Kerry 8:17 "And anyone who critices the holy matrimony of Adam and Steve shall be brought before the people and sentenced to death by stoning."

Kennedy 17:3 "Being born into a wealthy family holding liberal views is holy. Going to Hollywood and making millions there by pretending to be someone else on the television is righteous. However... any white man who goes to school and works hard for his money is evil once he obtains a certain amount."

Liberals, finally, the scriptures needed to counteract with the other, out-dated ones! Not until now was there a way to debate what was actually in the book... because now there is a NEW book! Remember, folks... know your bible! Get yours today!

...Will be on front-row display at all Barnes and Noble, and Borders book stores while books written by Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter, Pat Buchanan, Mike Savage, etc, are hidden in the back....

My Website: The Patriot Edition

[sauropod]

Wait'll this ends up being in the liturgy!

[JoJo Gunn]

Hey, didn't I see Richard Hatch hawking it on Survivor the other night to all those Jesus Lite types?

[null and void]

Missed the verses in Rosy.

Rosy 4:69 California whine and Lick-her are the sacraments for a lesbian marrage...

[writer33]

Can I get an Amen brother Patriot!

[writer33]

"Wait till this ends up being in the liturgy!"

Now that'd be an adventure. How about a liberal mass?

[freekitty]

"Are you sick and tired of Christian "radicals" trying to spread the word of God by quoting those Bible scriptures?"

I was unaware that Christians were even allowed to speak.

[ikka]

Now that'd be an adventure. How about a liberal mass?

Ever heard of a Black Mass? Same thing...

[writer33]

Next up! The liberal missal.

[Porterville]

[Protagoras]

Good picture of the Super Bowl half time show.

[Kay Soze]

Should sell well at the GOP convention.

Many GOP/CINOs need to "feel" grounded in religion to justify their liberal positions on gay marriage and abortion.

They are the ones with the bumper stickers on their cars that say "Judge not and ye shall not be judged".

[Hillarys nightmare]

This is amusingly close to the truth, but I believe that there is much more to the Liberal agenda regarding Christianity than just this. They don't want to just rewrite the Bible, they want to totally discredit it, to the point that it has no bearing to any who hear or read it.

The only way that people are going to completely accept liberal thought or tenants, is when the written word of God is made null and void in the minds of the people.

That is the reason for all the Liberal protest about Mel's new movie, "The Passion OF Christ".

Commie libs are so afraid of the mass appeal and interest in Jesus and his teachings, that they have preempted the movie's release with negative rhetoric, in an effort to destroy the possible positive impact the movie may have on Christians and Non- Christians alike.

Could you imagine what would happen to Liberalism if a resurgence of true Bible believing Christianity broke out in the world?

In the same way a Christian Cross repels a Vampire, so does the Eternal Word of God a Liberal. Bottom line; A possible resurgence of Christianity in the world is truly a frightening thing for Liberals to imagine, because it is this Christian God, and those who believe him, who stand in the way of their agenda.

[AppyPappy]

Don't forget

Jackson 4:17 A black Republican is an abomination in my sight.

[Tall_Texan]

And don't forget:

Rangel 3:16 "Tax cuts are their new words for n----r."

[null and void]

is when the written word of God is made null and void in the minds of the people.

Please leave me out of this....

[Nea Wood]

Jesse 14:10: It is righteous and good to call thyself "Reverend" and to counsel another about his infidelity, whilst thy own mistress is pregnant.

[Teacher317]

Brown 4:21 - Yea verily, "They all look alike to me" and "n----r" SHALT NOT be uttered by those of the WRONG skin tone.

[Hillarys nightmare]

"Please leave me out of this...."

(LOL) Just making sure that you're paying attention!