FWIW, I like my "Go Fishing" tag. Oh, and it was 78º here yesterday.
Posted on 02/07/2004 7:34:37 PM PST by mhking
A few years ago, it was semi-cool to put a specialty license tag on your car. Save the manatees. Protect the panther. Remember the Challenger astronauts.
Unfortunately, Florida officials turned a nifty little concept into an explosion of cheesy boosterism and banality. Last week, the state's 89th specialty tag went on sale.
''Stop Child Abuse,'' it says -- and who would argue with that? Another new one, unveiled in Key West by a grandson of Jacques Cousteau, implores Floridians to ''Protect Our Reefs.'' Again, we're behind you 100 percent. But enough is enough.
Motorists here can now buy license plates proclaiming their support for, among other things, the Police Athletic League, the U.S. Olympics, the Marine Corps, the Red Cross, the arts, the Boy Scouts, war veterans, agriculture in general, any professional sports team (no matter how incompetent), whales, sea turtles, bass fishing or one of 31 colleges and universities.
Practically anything that fits on a bumper sticker is eligible to become an official Florida license plate, providing that 15,000 registered drivers sign a petition saying they'll buy it.
More often than not, they're fibbing. Only 23 of 82 active specialty tags sold more than 15,000 units last year. Those that fail to sell more than 8,000 copies over five years are scrapped.
For instance, the tag honoring the Girl Scouts of America -- is there a more venerable institution? -- is being discontinued because only 706 were bought. For most scouts, that's barely a day's worth of cookie sales.
Other casualties include the snazzy license plates cheering the Tampa Bay Storm and the Orlando Predators. Their sales (a combined 333 tags) woefully reflected the public's resounding lack of enthusiasm for arena football.
Among specialty tags, the runaway best seller continues to be the protect-the-panther plate, with 100,585 drivers buying or renewing in 2003. Next, in order of popularity, are manatees, dolphins, the University of Florida, Florida State University and sea turtles.
An environmental theme doesn't guarantee big sales. Only 16,598 tag buyers have been moved to celebrate the state wildflower, and still fewer (12,597) have chosen to honor the Everglades.
Even the most admirable of social causes has limited road appeal. License plates extolling Florida as the ''Golf Capital of the World'' have outsold tags supporting the Special Olympics, 8,479 to 6,565.
Specialty tags cost from $17 to $27 extra, and the money is supposed to benefit the designated cause or institution. However, state auditors have questioned some of the disbursements.
With 89 different tags, the odds are slim indeed that all the income is being properly and promptly dispersed. This is Florida, after all.
Specialty plates feature their own custom artwork, although some appear to have been designed by first-graders who got into Mommy's medicine cabinet.
The wild diversity of the license plates is causing problems for law enforcement. There are now so many different styles and colors that police are having trouble identifying and keeping track of them all.
Moreover, citizens who witness a crime and call in a tag number sometimes don't recognize the specialty plates as being from the Sunshine State.
No further embarrassment
Because of such complaints, Sen. Evelyn Lynn, a Republican from Ormond Beach, has proposed a ban on new specialty tags. It's a good idea, not only to help the Highway Patrol but to save the state from further embarrassment.
Last year alone, a stupefying 32 new tags were introduced, which is the sort of foolishness that passes for legislative achievement in Tallahassee.
As the choices of specialty plates have proliferated, the number of vehicles displaying them has dropped steadily. That's because there's not much ''special'' about the tags anymore.
Still, more are in the works, including one with a likeness of the late John Lennon. His connection to Florida is shaky, at best -- although he did once appear with his fellow Beatles on an Ed Sullivan show in Miami Beach.
The new tag would be stamped with the word ''Imagine,'' the title of Lennon's most famous song. And one can easily imagine his acerbic reaction to having his face on a license plate, even if the money is earmarked for food banks.
On behalf of music fans everywhere, I beg you just to tell us which food banks are neediest -- we'll send a check. But, please, no John Lennon license tag. Or at least change the caption to ``Help!''
Just damn.
If you want on the list, FReepmail me. This IS a high-volume PING list...
BTW, I'd love to see the pics for that!!!
Believe it or not they HAD a HOOTERS tag. The Miami Hooters (arena?) football team.
Unfortunately, I didn't act fast enough and I guess they didn't sell 8k of them since the were discontiued a few years ago.
The conversational factor alone would have been worth it to get :-)
How about "Kill The Handicapped."
I'm referring to Terri Schiavo. I know several "judges," a "lawyer," and a rotten husband that would buy them.
I believe he wrote columns before writing books, and he can be quite the irritating Leftist. I like Dave Barry better.
FWIW, I like my "Go Fishing" tag. Oh, and it was 78º here yesterday.
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