Child Safety List - Please Role-Play With Your Children

Vanity | 2/7/04 | mtbopfuyn

[mtbopfuyn]

I've had requests to get this safety list out there. It's just some quick notes so any additions and comments are welcome. Admin can move it as they wish.

Smith, who murdered Carlie Brucia, had once before been up on attempted kidnapping charges on a young woman. Miss Stinson escaped due to quick thinking.

SARASOTA --- Stinson, who was 20 at the time, struggled, lost her footing and fell down, then offered Smith $50 to leave her alone. He jumped on top of her. "If you don't quit screaming, I'll cut you," Smith said, according to records. Smith pulled her up by her shirt, but she squirmed away, landing in oncoming traffic. A van stopped to help her, she said. The people in the van jumped out, armed with golf clubs to fend Smith off, but he fled.

Smart gal for struggling, screaming and getting out of her shirt to get away. She called attention to herself which saved her life. We've all seen the horrible video of Carlie Brucia's kidnapping. I'm certainly not blaming Carlie, but she did have options she failed to act upon. Please take the time to talk to and role play with your children and give them skills to avoid or get away from predators.

1) Be aware of your surroundings. Indiana Jones has added - when you have a head set on (listening to MP3 players etc.) your ability to be aware of what is going on around you is greatly compromised.

2) Carlie let Smith get too close. Never let anyone get within arm's distance so they can't grab you. Don't let strangers enter your "space". If you take a step back and he moves closer, that's a red flag to run.

3) Listen to that inner voice telling you something isn't right. She seemed to have hesitated and almost stepped back but didn't follow through. That voice was telling her to back away but we teach our children to be polite and mind adults. Fml adds - Its is also very important that children know that good gown-ups don't ask for help or approach them. Only the bad come near them, and if there is a mistake, a good adult will understand.

4) Never talk to strangers. She stopped and allowed contact. Doesn't matter if he had an ID showing he was a security guard for the car wash. Doesn't matter if he had a gun or a knife. He doesn't want to fire the gun, as it will draw attention. A running target is hard to hit. Your odds of dying from a gunshot wound in a public place are much better than the 99.9% chance of being killed at his hands later.

5) In the video we see Carlie walking directly toward her murderer. She didn't avoid him, walk around him, or run away, and she allowed him within her space. This signaled to him she was vulnerable and an easy victim.

6) Carlie had a weapon - her backpack. She may have had time while he approached her or was talking to her to take off her backpack. Just the act of removing the backpack may have signaled Smith that she wasn't an easy target. Once she was grabbed or in the car, use the backpack to hit him.

7) After she was grabbed - NEVER ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE TAKEN TO THE SECOND SCENE! Time and time again we've been told the second location is where victims are killed. Once he grabbed her arm - twist, kick, hit, scream your lungs out, whatever it takes. If you can't get away then go limp and fall to the ground to gain time. It's hard to pick up 120 lbs of dead weight quickly. If he does pick you up then start fighting again. He will have his hands occupied by holding you but you have your arms and legs free to gouge eyes out and bite. 8) We see Smith quietly leading Carlie away - Scream, kick over trash cans, kick the building, kick the car, whatever makes noise to draw attention. 9) NEVER GET IN THE CAR! Your legs are stronger than your hands so kick the sicko or use legs to delay him putting you in the car. Block the doorway however you can. 10) He has you in the car - A car is a weapon. He tells you to sit still, be quiet or he'll kill you - screw him. Go crazy!!! Hit him, kick him, kick his driving leg especially, grab the steering wheel, put it in reverse, turn on radio loud, kick windows, roll windows down, start pulling wires under the dash, honk horn, hit him with the back pack or whatever you can get out of the backpack (pencil, sharp cornered book, toy with pointy edges). Do NOT be afraid of wrecking the car. You have a much greater chance of surviving an accident than you do at the second deadly location scene. An accident will draw attention, people will come, police will come, and an ambulance will come. The sicko will be more concerned in saving his hide than taking you with him. Most likely he will quickly escape the scene and you will be safe.

If you are being put in the trunk, try to leave the straps of the backpack or shirt tail hanging out to draw attention from other drivers. Have your kids get in your trunk and show them how to pull the signal wires and how to release the lock. It may also be possible for them to kick out the tail light and wave to attract attention.

11) Role play. Review, review, review. Think of scenarios and what you would do. The more you can think of the more automatic you can be in your reactions and avoidances of dangerous situations. Carlie had mere seconds before he got her to the car and probably only an hour before she was killed. If you've gone over and thought about what to do in those precious few moments, it may save your life.

Again, I'm NOT putting any blame on Carlie however our children can learn from her mistakes. Prayers for Carlie and the other children who have been taken from us.

Please add to the list.

[EggsAckley]

Good list. Let's hope every Freeper with children prints it and follows it.




BUMP!!!

[AppyPappy]

I could have sworn I saw this yesterday in one of the threads. I must be getting old

[Triple Word Score]

Thank you. BTTT

I was recently flamed because I thought teenagers who were approached by a stranger asking personal questions at a mall were right to ignore him--many a FReeper thought that such behavior is rudeness on par with Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake. No. Strangers who approach children and teenagers must ALWAYS be suspected!

I agree with you:

Its is also very important that children know that good gown-ups don't ask for help or approach them. Only the bad come near them, and if there is a mistake, a good adult will understand.

4) Never talk to strangers. She stopped and allowed contact.

[mtbopfuyn]

Yes, like the rest of us, you are getting old. However, I did post the list in a reply yesterday but I've had several suggestions to go public with it.

[AppyPappy]

OK. I was going to try and hunt down the post in the other thread and add it. If they are the same, I won't bother.

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

My kids and I were just discussing this yesterday - we've raised them to be polite and respectful, but I want them to realize that there are certain situations where you can't be worried about manners or hurting someone -

Threads like this are a good reminder.... thanks

[elli1]

I'd add something that my dad told me when I was young (and living in a small town): Run for a house, any house and run into the house. (Almost unheard of at that time for a house to be locked.) In this day & age with so many houses unoccupied most of the day, I'd tell kids to run for a house that has cars in the driveway, try to get inside or scream & beat on the front door for help.

[Agnes Heep]

I've got an even better one--let them read Ann Rule's excellent account of Ted Bundy.

It's not the kind of thing I'd have ever thought of giving my young daughters to read, except that I inadvertently left my paperback copy lying in the living room. A couple of days later my ten-year-old approached me and asked, "Daddy, what's a 'blood-gun?'" I asked her where she picked up a term like that, and she told me, "In the Ted Bundy book." Obviously, the word she had misinterpreted was "bludgeon"--Ted's favorite method of getting control of his victims.

At first I was mortified that she should have been reading such a horrible book, but upon reflection I thought that perhaps it was better that she should have a good, first-hand account of the evil to which human nature is susceptible. In a perfect world, this wouldn't be so. But our world is far from perfect.

[Agnes Heep]

Just a thought--in the entire Ted Bundy affair, the only woman ever to have escaped him was a fraile young lady who fought him tooth and nail.

[RoseyT]

This goes along the lines of not talking to strangers, but we have told our kids that adults/strangers should NOT ask for help from children. An adult/stranger shouldn't be asking for directions, for help finding their lost puppy, or for help unloading something from their vehicle. (This doesn't include our elderly neighbors. It's sometimes a difficult balancing act to include good manners with safety issues like this, but we do our best.)

For those of you with little ones, ask them what a "stranger" or "bad guy" looks like. You might be surprised by the answer. We heard things like "they look mean," "they wear black," etc. We explained that a "bad guy" will NOT want them to know he's bad, so he will act like he's very nice.

I hate that we are having to teach our kids these things, but I believe it's a necessity. My brother-in-law and I are in disagreement about it being necessary. He's a police officer in San Diego and he told me that stats show the number of abductions is actually down. I looked him right in the eye and said, "To the parents of an abducted child, those numbers mean NOTHING and your brother and I will do everything possible to help keep our kids safe." The funny thing is that our conversation took place in Venice, FL, which is very near Sarasota, when we were there this past Thanksgiving.

[M0sby]

Mom of 2 boys here.
The oldest is almost 4 1/2.
Super friendly kinda kid who would wander off with the devil himself.
And if the "Devil" is wearing a uniform OF ANY KIND, so much the better... He once made friends with the grocery delivery guy in about 30 seconds.
I have a really hard time trying to teach him who is BAD.
As a matter of fact, I would say we have failed miserably.
I just don't think that he will ever be a kid who stops to think before he talks to people. Of course he is 4, so perhaps he will gain this skill(?) later.
We are now trying to teach him about people who ACT BADLY.

As in, never let an adult touch you if you don't know them.
And, we told him that if an adult that he doesn't know asks him for help or directions he can say, "That's stupid!" Stupid is a word he is NEVER allowed to say, so I am hoping that he will remember it. (We have practiced).

I feel the same way as another poster who said that if there is a mistake, a good adult will understand.

Anyway, the whole thing just boggles my mind. My dad laughs and says it is payback for them not being ale to teach ME about strangers...I assumed that once you knew someone's name they were NOT a stranger.

Such a tricky situation.

[jocon307]

"To the parents of an abducted child, those numbers mean NOTHING..."

Of course, you are correct. These incidents are very rare, but so is getting hit by lightening, and you don't want to be the one that gets struck. It is also important to remember that they can happen ANYWHERE. People often think big cities are dangerous, and of course they can be. But one thing about a big city, there are a lot of people around, and certainly most of them are good people.

This article gives good advice, and I am going to print it and give it to my kid. I never really thought of the angle that normal adults wouldn't approach a kid for help, directions or whatever, but it's true. Of course, my own kid is old enough that someone might ask her for directions, but the rest of the advice is still helpful.

[cyborg]

I'm seriously questioning having children.

[Diva Betsy Ross]

A really good book to read is Protecting The Gift.

HERE

This book is written by a FBI profiler and helps parents discern when to really worry about your kids, and what to do about.

I have two young boys and found some good, practicle advice in this book.

[Humidston]

This is the saddest thread!

Back in the "olden" days, threats to children were few and kids were allowed to smile at grandmothers like me who passed them in the grocery store or on the sidewalk.

Now I can tell their minds are racing - "Is she going to steal me?"

So sad that parents have to drill their children to be suspicious all the time. And double sad that so many evil people are free to stalk our young. I'd just as soon every pervert arrested be KEPT IN JAIL for the rest of their filthy lives so that our children are safe once again.

[EdReform]

Excellent post - thanks!

[Diva Betsy Ross]

I tell my children to not talk to st angers if I am not around.

The problem with never talk to strangers is that if a child needs help, or is lost they are afraid to ask anyone for help. I have had this happen to me twice, where I found a lost child, one in a parking lot, one in a store.

They were both young and scared to death, but ran away from me because they looked at me as a stranger.

It is a better approach, IMO, to teach children to look for someone they can trust to help them, know when to avoid strangers and what to say if one does approach them.

the book I recommend above gives the example of "look for a Mommy", because chances are that a woman with children is going to help a lost child. Of course not in every single case is that true. But I think it is better than Never, ever talk to strangers.

Just my .02. It is a scary world out there, sometimes, for those of us with young children. We all do the best we can to protect them.

[MeekOneGOP]

[Diva Betsy Ross]

Oh no don't question it. Children are the best thing in the whole world, they are the sunshine.

If you want children, you should have a few. The world is not all bad and scary. There are nice, kind people everywhere.We just have to have better skills at recognizing them these days and more prepared to teach our children those skills as well.

Of course terrible things do happen to good people. But the risk is much lower of something bad happening to you , than the joy you will miss out on if you really want kids and don't have them

There are more good guys out there than bad.

This is a terrible, heartbreaking case. But let's remember there are more people in this country who would help a child, rather than hurt a child.