A return to submissive wives?

Boston.com ^ | 2 February 2004 | Cathy Young

[shrinkermd]

QUITE A FEW people would probably rail against Laura Schlessinger, the radio pop psychologist known for her diatribes against abortion, working mothers, and gay rights, even if she said that you should be kind to animals and brush your teeth regularly. When "Dr. Laura" writes a book which pins most of the blame for modern marital problems on selfish, overly demanding women, that's bound to ruffle feathers.

[hispanarepublicana]

While I think she's right in this book, I would not be so flattered by it if I were a man, or think of it as "submissive wives." The reason men shouldn't be flattered is that my take on the book is that Dr. Laura is saying, "Look, women....Men are basically 1 dimensional beings who constantly need their egoes stroked in order to feel appreciated. If you can stroke their egoes and keep them placated that way, then they will be happy and life will be lots easier."

[macrahanish #1]

Your comments are true, but I've also heard that Rusty Yates ignored some of her most troubling maifestations of mental illness.

[Woahhs]

I am getting one. At times it's humbling and difficult, but it is good, a gift from the Lord.

I wish you well, but be warned; Biblical instruction on marriage is painfully analogous to Biblical instruction on physics. The overview is fine, but as they say: "the devil's in the details."

[Woahhs]

Care to share your insights?

[cubreporter]

just don't think it's a marriage they have, it's something else. What, I'm not sure.



Congrats to you and your wife. Happy you have that mutual love and respect so many marriages lack. Makes ya wonder why some people even bother to get married.

[cubreporter]

Guess we don't know the answers. But as I said her son has to be like 17 or 18. Gosh, I listened to her way back when and hew as about 11 or 12 then. His name is Derek. She used to speak about him on her show. Maybe I am off by a year or so but I gotta be close. :)

[Woahhs]

There's a bit of a difference between recognizing a problem and being stubborn and thinking that simple determination will fix the issue.

I hear the voice of experience.....

[kid_in_kc]

21...Being subject one to another, in the fear of Christ. 22 Let women be subject to their husbands, as to the Lord: 23 Because the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church. He is the saviour of his body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject to Christ: so also let the wives be to their husbands in all things. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ also loved the church and delivered himself up for it...

thank you for posting the scripture reference.

you know, the radical left feminist movement has so indoctrinated our society, we are conditioned to bristle at the very mention of the word "submission". the truth of the matter is, as christians, we are called to submit to our spouse, our boss, our pastor, our government, and to one another. christianity is all about laying down our 'rights' and doing what is best for the other person. we put ourselves second.

as a woman, i will admit that i struggled with this issue from time to time when i was married. anyone who knows me will tell you that i am a very strong-willed person. i failed sometimes. but my goal was to honor God in my marriage...and sometimes i did get it right.

what most people fail to see, if they don't examine this passage of scripture carefully, is that the mandate on the husband is to 'love your wife as christ loves the church'. those are pretty tall orders.

i haven't given up on marriage. i still believe it can work, the way God intended it to work. :)

my two cents worth.

[cubreporter]

We thank God for our daughter-in-law. She is loviing, sweet, kind and totally in love with our son and vice versa. WE are blessed to have her in our family and we wrote her a letter telling her so. She responded saying it made her cry. We love her to death and love her parents as well whom we have become great friends with and have visited each other out of state. It makes it so nice. We enjoy being togehter. WE are blessed. Everyone has to make an effort though because we all believe in doing things differently. Our parents did, we did and now our kids do but...it is THEIR life and they need to do and make their mistakes just like we all did. We just need to be happy and love each other which we all do in spite of ALL OF OUR OWN FAULTS AS WELL.

[cyborg]

Why do you say that?

[Blzbba]

"I have a hard time believing that she practices what she preaches."


Seeing that she's a working mom with a history of pornography, I tend to agree with you.

[altura]

That's what I'm always saying to my (sort of) feminist niece ... she cuts her girlfriends all kinds of slack but is ready to snap at men for very little.

[JFC]

Her book is excellent. I would recommend it to all. Her views are in response to what she hears daily. If women would care more for their hubbies and family, we would not have as many un-full filled libbers out there needing to be needed!

[HungarianGypsy]

There was a book first published in the 1960s called Fascinating Womanhood that this book reminds me of. My husband calls it "the joke book". The things that really make sense are just common sense items. Yes, men like to feel appreciated. So do women. Fascinating Womanhood went a bit further on the submissiveness by saying a woman should not do a man's job (i.e., taking out the garbage even if it's piled to the ceiling) and should try to appear weaker about everything. My husband would think I was nuts if I pretended I could hammer a nail or something like that. What really made me completely forget the book was a testimonial from a reader (in the updated version I have) where she talks about sticking by her husband as he had withdrawal syptoms from being away from the woman he was cheating on his wife with. I would be booting my husband's rear at that point.

[Straight Vermonter]

It's amazing how many men are lured in by these types of women, captivated by their good looks and physical beauty. Only after marriage do they reveal themselves as the witches that they are. I was fortunate to be born with a "shrew" detector. A shrew in a beautiful body doesn't fool me for a minute.

I don't think most men are as deceived as you think. They have shrew detectors too but they overlook all the negatives for the positive. Only later do they realise they can't tolerate the negatives.

[Yaelle]

She does NOT practice what she preaches AT ALL. It is her husband who gave up his career (and wife and three kids) for HER. And of course he kept converting and re-converting to each denomination of Judaism when she requested, even though he swore he never would. When she was told she could not become Orthodox if he didn't convert, guess who suddenly converted?

I have always tried to be a traditional wife filled with loving support for my husband and didn't need her to tell me that. She is right to put up a counter-argument for male-bashing, these days, though. I am furious as what feminism gets away with. I am raising three wonderful little guys and I despise male-bashing.

But Dr. Laura has done her show too long. At this point she practically HATES the public and her audience. She needs a break. I wonder why she is tied to her format. Maybe she should change to a moral topics program with callers who discuss things, rather than the Dear Abby one she now has.

[Woahhs]

Seeing that she's a working mom with a history of pornography, I tend to agree with you.

In light of her recent troubles with militant homosexuals, it's often forgotten she also used to be a "flaming" homophile.

So much for your attempt to undermine.

[hispanarepublicana]

should try to appear weaker about everything.

There's no way my terminally ill dad could have prepared himself to "rest in peace" if he thought my mom wouldn't be able to hammer a nail, take out the garbage, change a flat, etc.

[Woahhs]

she cuts her girlfriends all kinds of slack but is ready to snap at men for very little

Current female "culture" is as antithetical to marriage as current black culture is antithetical to good race relations.

[daybreakcoming]

<> Exactly. Which is why we are trying to raise our three daughters to get all the education they can so they won't be financially dependent on a husband's paycheck JUST IN CASE they don't use good judgement when choosing a mate. That may sound hard-hearted but I see too many mama's boys who don't know what "work" or committment is not to take precautions. Hopefully they will all find good freepers.:o)