Posted on 01/16/2004 9:52:06 PM PST by ex-Texan
My New Business: "Some Of My Best Friends Are Black"
Political Commentary
By Kevin L. Martin
I had some very interesting thoughts in the days after watching the exchange between Reverend Al Sharpton and Former Vermont Governor Howard Dean at the Black and Brown Debate in Iowa.
Sharpton called out Dean on the lack of Blacks and Hispanics in his cabinet during his 12 years as governor, and Dean had to admit that the charge was true. Just as true as was former President Bill Clinton's lack of minorities in his inner cabinet.
Dean and his handlers sought to downplay the impact of Sharpton's words the following day with Dean using the standard white liberal quote, "Some of my best friends are black." With Dean's words ringing my ears, my thoughts lead me to wonder if I should start a new business called "Some of my best friends are black."
This service would allow a white liberal with a questionable past (like Howard Dean, Robert Byrd and others) to come in, pick thru my stock of blacks and buy a new best black friend. This in turn would allow them to label their opponents as racist for not having a black best friend as well.
I would have the best products available: liberal, sellout, victim, token, prop, sock-puppet, angry, step-and-fetching, hip hop and jive talking blacks would be in stock and out the door for all my liberal white customers. Just think of all the business from Capitol Hill and Georgetown alone.
The white liberals in question could then host parties in their homes and show off their new black friends to all their envious liberal friends.
If the white liberals in question are into politics, then they can hold news conferences with their new best black friend standing behind them for all their photo-ops and quickly become the talk of the town's political circle.
If the liberal in question is like Howard Dean, who happens to be running for the presidency, I would also use the Congressional Caucus, Rainbow/Push and NAACP Blacks, who would then give them shining endorsements without any questions and without any illusions about money, power and influence.
I would corner the market of "liberal white guilt" within a week. "Every white liberal has a best black friend and now you can too" -- when you buy from "Some of my best friends are black" -- would be my sale's pitch.
Once they had finished taking their "best black friends" for granted, they could either return them to our "used section," or simply throw them away, and then come in for new models as needed.
Sharpton for his part should be commended for exposing the real Howard Dean to America. But the Congressional Black Democrat Caucus should be condemned for simply handing out their endorsements to a man, who as governor really had a serious and genuine need for "affirmative action" in his own cabinet.
The sad reality of the matter is that most of the black community will back Howard Dean without question if he happens to become the Democrat Nominee for President, despite his track record as governor. Brings to my mind another former governor who became "our first black president" named Bill Clinton.
When Sharpton is done with his Presidential run, perhaps he would like to become a business partner with me. We could set up our first shop on Martin Luther King Avenue in D.C., so we could force liberal whites to come to the ghetto and reinforce their "guilt trip" over all their failed social and economic programs that were supposed to have helped minorities. Sharpton and I could have shops in Hollywood and every major Northern City, like New York and Boston. We could employ millions of blacks and give a huge boost to inner city economies within 6 months.
No I am not crazy, I would make this work because like Don King said "Only in America."
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Kevin L. Martin is an Advisor and Member of Project 21. He has served as the former Government and Political Affairs Director to the African American Republicans Leadership Council. He has appeared as a political commentator on FOX News. View a photo of Mr. Martin.
If this was the true litmus test for Sharpton when it comes to racial issues, why then doesn't endorse GW Bush who has appointed more blacks to higher posts in his cabinet than ANY other President?
Sharpton is a blow hard hypocrite and Dean is a patronizing suck up when it come race relations.
I consider that as a political constant. One can substitute "Insert Name of Socialist Here", for Dean, and it would mean the same thing.
Problem is, the civil rights industry considers that day to be "theirs", and any inclusion is, well, against diversity.
I rather hope Dean wins the Dem nomination, if only so I can watch him lose every single Southern state by an excruciatingly wide margin.
I wouldn't condemn all who say "Some of my best friends are black" simply because some liberal whites use this phrase to exploit any black relationships they might have for political advantage.
I can sincerely say that "Some of my best friends are black" and I'm not trolling for votes, nor do I give a crap if anybody, black or white thinks that makes me more or less of racist bigot because of it.
Fact is I say that MOST of my friends have been black during my adult life, I've roomed with and shared apts with probably a dozen black friends and more than once in nearly all black neighborhoods.
And out of my free choice. Not because I was stuck with them.
And guess what...I wasn't afraid to tell any of them that I can't stand Jesse Jackson or Sharpton and considered them racists idiots.
So let's not be so quick to condemn all those who say "Some of my best friends are black." as patronizing suck-ups.
Exactly!
People like Jesse Jackson and Sharpton actually think they have the right to define who is or isn't a REAL black according to their personal leftist political agendas.
And notice the only people they define as "black" are losers or anti-establishment while successful blacks such as Condi and Powell are considered Uncle Toms.
I have also roomed with my good back friends. One guy is a former Marine sniper during our Vietnam adventure. He did his work in countries other than Vietnam. 'Nuff said.
When I was a "track star" in high school (1963) my natural inclination was to hang with blacks from other schools. Great guys, all of them! My first job out of high school was managing a band. We had a black singing group and there were never any racial issues between us -- we were all simply amazed by their talent. When I went to college in San Francisco, I used to go to 'all black' night clubs in 'The City' and enjoy the music and the great company.
I could go on and on for hours about my wonderful experiences with good friends of all races, religions and beliefs.
And you're a Republican? Oh my God!
Only kidding. I can really appreciate what you are saying. I always thought it was fun experiencing life with people of other races, and having lived in Philly and Miami this turned out to be mostly blacks and hispanics.
And all of them liked me being totally white and not trying to be anybody other than myself.
I can't tell you all the fun I've had hanging out with my black and hispanic friends.
I love the USA.
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• Touch Her Hair: $25 each time
• Touch Her Skin: $35 each touch
• Compare Your Skin Tone to Hers: $50
• Tell her"you look just like..." another black person: $100
• Call her "sister" "sista" "girlfriend" or "girl": $150 each time
• Dance Lessons for the Rhythm-Challenged: $250 hour
• Challenging Racist Family Members: add $500 per person
• Racist Guests at Event: add $500 per event (per racist)
• "Will You Tell Them I'm Not a Racist?": $1500 per vouch
• Certificate of Association: $100
A 8x10" certificate stating your affiliation with a black person
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