Mother continues fight to see baby recognized as a human, not a fetus

The Laurel Leader-Call (MS) ^ | Jan. 13, 2004 | Jason Niblett

[Land of the Free 04]

"This was my child. He grew inside of me."

But now, Brandi McKeehan and her husband Sean face each day knowing that their son Landon died before he ever had a chance to live. In fact, according to Mississippi law, Landon wasn't even technically a living human being - only a fetus. That's blunt news to parents like Brandi and Sean. But, Landon never took a breath on his own. He was a completely formed baby in his parents' eyes, but not even a child in the state's eyes. His death was ruled SADS - Sudden Antenatal Death Syndrome. They never got a birth certificate or an acknowledgment that Landon was ever on this earth.

The Pine Belt couple is trying desperately to change that. Brandi became a member of the National Stillbirth Society to help try to change laws here at home and everywhere else that she can reach.

The young couple never imagined that the birth of their second child would negatively impact their lives forever. They expected Landon to join Bretley, his older sister. But, the day before his due date, their plans changed dramatically.

At first, the event started normally. Brandi had contractions, contacted the hospital, and checked in with her doctor. Then, when the contractions got four minutes apart, she and her husband were ready to leave for the hospital.

"I was walking to my bedroom to change clothes," Brandi said. "I felt something wet on my legs. I told my husband that my water had broken. Then, I looked down and it was blood-nothing but pure blood. He grabbed me, put me in the car, and I was already blacking out. I almost died on the way to the hospital because I had lost so much blood."

Sean and Brandi made it to a hospital in Hattiesburg. The medical staff rushed Brandi into emergency surgery even as Brandi went in and out of consciousness. Doctors tried to get a fetal heartbeat.

"My son's heart had stopped less than 20 minutes after I had lost so much blood," Brandi said. "He never even took a breath on his own. They asked my husband if I had a living will. They almost lost me three times. I had 26 staples and 380 stitches."

"My son was beautiful," she said. Landon weighed 8 pounds, 10 ounces and had a full head of black hair.

"If he could've taken a breath, he would have lived. He would have been a perfectly healthy baby," she said. "If we would have had the time, we could have at least donated his organs."

Brandi and Sean are not alone in facing a stillbirth. In fact, there are 26,000 babies who die each year for unexplained reasons.

"People don't realize this could happen and it does happen," she said. "I'm a perfectly healthy 22- year- old woman. Here I am - I felt him move. He would kick. My little girl would touch my stomach. He would kick back where she touched."

But, Sean soon found out that his son had died and his wife was also on the verge of death.

"He knew before I came out of surgery that Landon was dead," she said. "They asked him if I had a living will. They asked him if he wanted them to CODE and bring me back if they lost me."

But, Bretley didn't get to meet her brother.

"Imagine having to come home to explain it to your three-year-old daughter why her brother isn't around anymore," Brandi said.

They found out about their son legally being a fetus just after the death. The hospital staff told the couple that they could bury Landon by themselves.

"They didn't even tell us they could embalm him," Brandi said. "They didn't even tell us we could have a funeral. They told us we could have a white pine box and bury him anywhere we wanted - as long as it was at least three feet under."

Brandi is fighting for a legal birth certificate. It's too late for Landon, but it's not too late for the thousands of babies stillborn each year. She doesn't mind a statement of something like "Certificate of Birth - Stillborn" or something like that. She just wants the state, and other people, to acknowledge her baby that grew to full term.

"I'm just getting started," she said. "I am sure that it's going to take years."

But, it's important right now because the legislature is in session. Her request may not make it to the house or senate right now, but Brandi hopes that someone - anyone - with ties to the legislature will notice the issue and make something happen.

[Land of the Free 04]

ping

[ItsOurTimeNow]

My wife has miscarried twice in the last year and a half. As heartbreaking as that was for us, I could never imagine the pain of losing a fully-gestated child to stillbirth.

My mother's second pregnancy (after my brother and before me) was stillborn...she says that even to this day, it still pains her to think about it.

Prayers and sympathy going out to this family.

[dixiechick2000]

Sad Missippy ping.

[LiteKeeper]

INTREP - LIFE

[petitfour]

Very sad.

[lilylangtree]

Sad, very sad!

[Mr. Silverback]

ProLife Ping!

If anyone wants on or off my ProLife Ping List, please notify me here or by freepmail.

[NYer]

They found out about their son legally being a fetus just after the death. The hospital staff told the couple that they could bury Landon by themselves.

Brandi is fighting for a legal birth certificate. It's too late for Landon, but it's not too late for the thousands of babies stillborn each year. She doesn't mind a statement of something like "Certificate of Birth - Stillborn" or something like that. She just wants the state, and other people, to acknowledge her baby that grew to full term.

Landon is yet one more statistic in the pro-death culture. One breath and he would have been given a birth certificate. Instead, Landon is treated by hospital staff as just one more casualty - aborted, stillborn - to the hospital, the respect for 'life' died long before Landon was (still)born. My prayers for Brandi and her family as they struggle in their quest to acknowledge the "life that blossomed" within.

Catholic Ping - let me know if you want on/off this list

[Salvation]

**She doesn't mind a statement of something like "Certificate of Birth - Stillborn" or something like that. She just wants the state, and other people, to acknowledge her baby that grew to full term.**

Sounds reasonable to me.

[Coleus]

`

[Brad’s Gramma]

Brandi and Sean, I don't know if you'll ever read this, but Landon WAS a baby. YOUR baby. He's with God now, we don't know why He wanted Landon home so early, but He did.

Landon will always, forevermore, be your SON. Don't EVER let anyone tell you differently.

I'm so sorry you had to go through this. May God bless you and your family...look to Him.

[livius]

Very sad.

I had a stillborn child. I had the flu in the third month, and almost miscarried then - but then I recovered and everything seemed normal.

About a week before delivery, I stopped feeling movement. When we went into the hospital, I could tell from everybody's face that this was not going to be good.

He was stillborn, with multiple birth defects from my having had a virus. We couldn't baptize him because the priest couldn't get there in time (this was in a Protestant area where people didn't baptize infants; in a Catholic area, a nurse would have baptized him), but we named him Benedict Joseph, and we were able to bury him on a hillside in Western Pennsylvania with his name on a stone.

And three months later, I was pregnant again...

[TontoKowalski]

My wife has miscarried twice in the last year and a half.

I am so sorry. My wife suffered two miscarriages before our prayers were answered with Tonto Junior.

It was a nerve-wracking pregnancy, where we were both scared to death at the first sign of any little difficulty. My poor wife didn't get to feel the giddy joy of being pregnant, because the pain of those two miscarriages (and the fear that it would happen again) made us not get too excited, lest we plummet too far.

Anyway, don't give up. If it happens again, you might want to have some tests done to see if there's some problem. And if your pregnancy is progressing normally, ENJOY IT! Don't spend it worrying like we did!

[armymarinemom]

Does anyone know which states give still birth certificates after 23 or 26 weeks? I haven't worked in OB for 15 years but in Tenn. we used to give certificates for babies. They even had preemies clothes including beautiful hats to cover cranial defects for photos. The photos were kept on file if the parents didn't want them before discharge and often parents would return months later for the photos. We took footprints and gave the parents as much as we could so they wouldn't leave the hospital empty handed. This story makes me sick.

I'm really glad I transfered to OR now if they treat parents like this in more states than Miss.

[fatima]

livius,Beautiful Benedict Joseph,loved so much.That is a outstanding name for an angel.

[arnoldknox]

In May 2002, my wife and I lost our son, Jacob Ryan, less than a week before his due date. In the state of Tennessee, Jacob Ryan could only be recognized as "terminated" (a term which implies he was aborted) or not recognized at all. You can imagine the added trauma this brings to a family grieving the loss of their full-term child. I intend to lobby some legislative acquaintances to see that this is changed in my state. Our prayers go out to any who have experienced this double tragedy.

[FourPeas]

Well said. Thank you for finding the words I couldn't.

[Brad’s Gramma]

My heart BREAKS reading this thread. I'm so sorry that so many of you have suffered like this. I'd like to grab you all and hug you, I'd do ANYTHING to take away your pain.

[arnoldknox]

Thank you. God has been so faithful! He has carried us through the pain of losing our third child and blessed us with the birth of our fourth child...a girl named Hope Ashley (Hope from the Ashes). Hope doesn't replace our Jacob. She's yet another blessing from God, who cares for us beyond our abililty to comprehend.

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." -Jeremiah 29:11