What to Do When Women Break Up With You.

mensnewsdaily.com ^ | 1/10/04 | Bernard Chapin

[hopespringseternal]

Unfortunately, by the time I was wise enough to do this, I was also too good at keeping her hooked.

Amazing that the success of our courting rituals lies with our ability to manipulate the woman's feelings.

[slowhandluke]

I told my DH, "The only way your getting out of this marriage is through your own death."

I knew a woman who said she had an "Iowa Marriage", no divorce, but maybe a funeral!

Their marriage was good enough (still going 30+) that even the husband laughed.

[Thumper1960]

Yup. Mutual use is the best you can hope for.

[LisaMalia]

The bit about guys reaching their peak in their teens, vs women in their 30's, has a reasonable amount of research behind it, like this article on MSN.com's "health" section The other part is from personal observation, including being a developer for an online dating site. Women past their 30s have more trouble, and have to work harder at, finding "suitable" dates than men the same age do.

Although many studies have been done, nothing has been proven. I don't see companies marketing viagra to 40 something women, so I think that speaks volumes.

I will agree that some older men may be more attractive to a young woman looking for security. However, there is also a trend for younger men to be seeking older women.

[txhurl]

Allright now. This groupie's gettin' jealous.

[Tall_Texan]

I'm sorry. I've been turned down before and never had the desire to say anything like this. Yes, maybe I'm a sap but I've never hated any of the women who have broken up with me. I've never wanted to make any woman think that their friendship with me had been a waste of their time.

Yes, a few times I've heard "the speech" and it can be devastating, particularly when you feel like you've done everything you can to make it work and wish like hell it wasn't ending.

Were I to be of this attitude, I might congratulate her on finding someone who can overlook her fat butt, small breasts and controlling nature; someone who would consider it a real step up in the world to be with her.

But, in all honesty, I wouldn't use a line like that unless I really wanted to bludgeon her. And I'm generally not of that mindset.

[af_vet_1981]

Why does my approach work? Because your soon-to-be ex thought you were in love with her and now, just through a short speech at a dire time, you have de-legitimized every kiss, every card, every present, every phone call, every dinner with her relatives, every night with her friends, and every “I love you” that you ever whispered. You responded to her sneak attack with nuclear tipped missiles and your strike will send her sprawling into chaos.

ROFL

[Tall_Texan]

And what if she's left you for a woman? It happened to me.

My sister had a boyfriend who broke up with her claiming he'd decided he was gay. That was right before she started seeing a psychotherapist.

[Ichneumon]

We will never split up. I told my DH, "The only way your getting out of this marriage is through your own death."

Jack Benny had a line line in his comedy act years ago that went: "My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never."

While Googling for the exact wording on that one, I came across two more classics by Benny:

"I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either."

"Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air."

[Ichneumon]

"Well, I guess I'll have to go back to dating thin women"

"Just as well, your butt *was* starting to look too big..."

Hmm, pondering whether I should post the great break-up zingers from one of Richard Pryor's comedy albums... Even with the worst words censored, it's *still* pretty rough.

[Ichneumon]

Oops...did I accidentally click onto Penthouse Forum? I thought this was Freerepublic. ;-D

"Dear FreeRepublic Forum: I used to read these posts and think that things like that could never happen in real life, but then something happened I just have to share with you. I was working as a bellhop in a hotel, and one weekend the ballrooms were rented out for a professional cheerleaders' convention, and an annual meeting of the Jell-O taste-testing division of General Foods. Things were going routinely until the acrobats from the Swedish circus checked in," [continued on page 35]

[Ichneumon]

Ignore what she says, watch what she does. Does she increasingly have "better things to do" than see you? Is she becoming increasingly critical? Does it not take much of anything at all to send her into an angry snit? These are indicators that she's psyching herself up to move on.

Either that, or it's an indication you've been married to her for several years. ;-)

[Ichneumon]

In 18 months, I'll be 40. Getting dumped is going to involve hours of angst, I'm sure.

Your knees will start to go in 43 months. Set your timer and enjoy them while they last. ;-)

Actually, your line reminds me of a great comedy routine I heard concerning what middle-age is like. The comedian said, "I still enjoy sex, but first I check to see if anything good's on cable".

[Ichneumon]

I'm a Seinfeld nut (obviously), and the best site I've found for quotes is pkmeco.com That said, since I know this information, I think I need to get a life....:)

In Houston, on KPRC 950 AM radio, the Chris Baker radio talk show does "Reverse Trivia" every Friday afternoon. Listeners call in with trivia questions and try to stump the guys at the radio station. If you stump them, you win, in their words, "cheesy crap".

The producer, Ken Charles, is amazing. Any Seinfeld or Simpsons question prompts the playing of the "Ken Charles Trivia Challenge" jingle, and then Ken takes a whack at it. He literally has a near photographic memory for those things, and sometimes he'll actually "fast forward" through the dialog (of even minor scenes) in order to prompt his memory of some trivial event from the shows.

To listen to the show from anywhere, click on the "Listen Live" link on the left hand side of the show's homepage, weekdays 4-6 Central. Even aside from the trivia, Chris Baker is one of the very best conservative local talk radio hosts anywhere.

[SauronOfMordor]

Either that, or it's an indication you've been married to her for several years

No. I've been married for 18 years, and it's not like that. She's very agreeable and goes out of her way to keep me happy most of the time. When the wife starts being chronicly cranky, it's an indication she's unhappy. If unhandled, she's eventually going to decide to move on

[LisaMalia]

Thanks for the info. I'll be sure to check his show out.

[wizardoz]

Oh, my knees matured early. They started to go when I was in my late 20s. "Why wait?" they figured.

[Lazamataz]

That was a long time ago. I'm much better (meaning tamer) now. :o)

[Lazamataz]

Oh, my knees matured early. They started to go when I was in my late 20s. "Why wait?" they figured.

Knees axe questions???

Well, why not. Clams got legs.

[Luis Gonzalez]

"What to Do When Women Break Up With You."

Sleep with her best girlfriend, or if at all possible, her sister.