Lando 
Posted on 01/08/2004 2:48:16 PM PST by Solson
After Brett Favre's dad, "Big Irv," died last month, even Eagles fans felt sorry for the Green Bay Packers' star quarterback. For about three minutes. Then we found out the Birds would be playing the Packers in the second round of the NFC playoffs. And now, Birds fans are bad-mouthing Favre, big time. On talk radio, they mocked his dad's ascension to heaven. On the Internet, they're laughing at the idea that, as one TV sportscaster proclaimed, "There's an angel on the shoulders of the Packers." The trash talk at the Eagles' official fan site only ceased when the Web site moderator threatened to ban anyone who joked about Big Irv. There is no pity in Philly for "Saint" Brett. Family tree Irvin Favre. As a high school football coach, he helped Southern Miss violate NCAA rules to recruit his son. WIFE: Deanna. He got her pregnant when he was 18, and she was 19. Married her seven years later. BROTHER: Scott. Killed a family friend when he drove his car into a railroad crossing and got hit by a train. Jailed for DUI. SISTER: Brandi. A Mississippi beauty queen, arrested for shoplifting. Model citizen In 1992, Favre was arrested after a barroom brawl in Hattiesburg, Miss., that began when he was arguing with the future Mrs. Favre. A bystander tried to intervene, and soon Favre was wrestling him to the floor. Favre was charged with drunkenness, disorderly conduct, and profanity. Pillhead Favre was a substance abuser in the mid-1990s. In 1996, he announced he was addicted to Vicodin, a prescription pain-killer. The NFL sent him to the Menninger Clinic in Topeka, Kan., to dry out. Favre now says he's sober. Mentor "The biggest problem wasn't getting the pills down, it was keeping them down. I'd go into the bathroom, take a big slug of water, and try swallowing a handful of pills. Most of the time, I'd just throw them right back up and they'd land on the floor. No big deal. I'd just pick the pills out of the vomit, rinse them off, and try again." - From "Vicodin, Rehab and Beer. Hey, It Won Me a Super Bowl," an excerpt from Favre's 1998 autobiography, "Favre: For The Record," published in Esquire magazine Caring father figure During his Vicodin addiction, Favre went into a seizure in front of his 7-year-old daughter. While watching her dad convulsing, the child screamed, "Is my daddy going to die? Is my daddy going to die?" A reformed man Favre was sprung from rehab after lying to his counselors. In his autobiography, he brags: "Finally, I told them what they wanted to hear: that I was a drug addict and I needed help. Sure enough, a week later they said, 'We think you're ready to leave.' "...Then I walked out the door and was like, 'Screw you.' " Dork He's a clubhouse prankster who's been known to put Heet ointment in players' jockstraps and shaving cream in their helmets. Once, he doused his own roommate with a bucket of ice water while he was on a commode. If he wasn't making $10 million a year, somebody would've already pushed him off a tall building. Hollywood star In his best-known screen role, "There's Something About Mary," he somehow manages to lose Cameron Diaz to Ben Stiller. In the lesser-known "Reggie's Prayer," Favre plays a janitor in an all-star cast that includes M.C. Hammer, Reggie White, Mike Holmgren and Pat Morita. A gentleman Favre likes to fart. A lot. He told Playboy: "If I'm on a golf outing with [Dan] Marino and [Jim] Kelly and they're getting ready to hit, I'll rip a big fart. They say, 'That's awful!' But why? Everybody does it. Just because you're a professional athlete or a politician doesn't mean you stop taking dumps and scratching your ass. Of course, there's a time and place for humor like that. I don't go to corporate events, where everyone is in a suit and tie, and start cutting farts. Not loud ones, anyway." Wuss Brett is scared of the dark. He sleeps with a light on.
FATHER:
But go ahead if you want.
Here's another goodie:PACKERS' BRETT FAVRE, TRULY A MAN'S MAN
Lando
Really, you liked it? Or were you just motivated to come over here and dump some sarcasm on Brett because you're a member of the Lake Mills Optimist Club? Either you're a lousy advocate or a fraud. I know which.
The seven wins in eight games that sustains your hardon were won on your homefield. BS NFL scheduling.
When the Dallas Cowboys haul their carcasses to Green Bay ... they LOSE. Period.
I was a wisp of a lad, but I sure do remember the Packers beating your club ... on YOUR HOME FIELD ... for the NFL Championship in 1966.
Your Boyz don't have the collective ballsacks to do that in Green Bay.
Dallas is the most overrated team (well .. behind the Niners) in NFL history, and their fans (well ... tied with the Niners fans) are the most clueless, humorless and dislikable. Everything went to hell when Phyllis George (aka Syphillis Gorge) proclaimed them "America's Team" in the 70s. There was a maniacal run on barf bags after that absurdity.
Incidentally, the University of Missuoui may have the single worst sports program in Collegiate history. You sure know how to pick 'em.
I don't understand this FR aversion to successful people ... but I'll fight it as my time and energy permit.
I'm not sayin' a word. : )
Mebbe he's still mad that Dan Devine left Mizzou to coach the Packers?
For your sake, I hope you can find a thread or an outlet where you can express less hostility. Try sitting cross legged, gently pull your ear lobes and say ooosssaaa! I heard it helps, but I really haven't had a need to try.
Seriously, I've been mystified by your participation on this thread. It's like you sought a place to be a jerk. I hope I'm wrong.
Lando
The interesting thing is that if he had been Brett Favre, the quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons or Brett Favre, the backhoe operator from Mississippi... you wouldn't care one way or the other. But it is because he is Brett Favre, the quarterback of the Green Bay Packers, that is why all the cheeseheads have turned this thread into a "Go Pack Go" thread, changing the direction of a well-intended thread.
So, now that your hero crashed and burned, extinguishing the hopes and dreams of cheeseheads everywhere, you feel compelled to lash out at people who are not as impressed with your vision of what a hero and sports legend should be. Now, it may be admirable that Brett has worked hard and is currently successful in pulling himself up from the grips of alcoholism and drugs, but to me, that is not a hero. A hero is a dad who never stooped to that level of depression to start with. I'm not ready to honor a man that has given in to alcohol and drugs until after they honor the man that has stayed clean and sober all his life. Pal, that may play in Wisconsin and the new ESPN/gangsta NFL, but not here.
Lando
That's it....Lando is waiting for next season when his flawed, washed up drug addict sports hero will again hope to win it all.
Lando
It's ironic that the Cardinals scored on a 4th and 24 against the Vikes to get the Packers into the playoffs.
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