Opinion: I eat my (low carb) words - thin people are more intelligent than fatties

Times Online (UK) ^ | January 2, 2004 | Stephen Pollard

[SamAdams76]

Next time you see a baker begging in the street, feel free to blame people like me for his plight. It seems that sales of bread have fallen so sharply in the US as a result of the spread of the Atkins diet — and what happens there soon follows here — that bakers are pondering a bleak future. One, Sara Lee, is attempting to revive its fortunes with a low-carbohydrate brand — Delightful Bakery Breads — which will go on sale next week; another large company will follow suit in May. Low-carb bread may sound like an absurdly contradictory invention, but I have a pretty good idea what it will be like, since I have already tried low-carb muffins, chocolate cake, crisps, chocolate and breakfast snacks. They have one thing in common. They all taste like ground cardboard.

I’ve eaten them because I am a convert to the low-carb, high-fat Atkins diet. This means I am also a turncoat. Last year, I wrote on these pages — in response to a report which claimed to find that fatties are thicker than stick insects — that “I’m fat, I’m thick and I’m proud.” Fine in theory, perhaps. But it turned out to be a lie. Soon afterwards, I started dieting.

So much for being fat and proud. I plead just one factor in mitigation. Take a look at the picture next to these words. See what I mean? I think the word is “jowly”. Less diplomatic souls might say “porker”.

Let’s make a deal. If you have the heart to forgive me my slide from porker to porkies, then I won’t mention if you, too, need to follow that January tradition and go on a diet. As millions look in the mirror this morning after the Christmas binge, my message is simple: it’s a doddle. Within a fortnight of starting, even I had lost 5lb. Five months on and I have lost more than three stone — with more to come. For the first time ever, I’m on a diet and don ’t have constant hunger pangs. I’m eating plentifully and yet the weight is cascading off.

I’ve noticed a common reaction from people I meet. Some are fascinated and want to know all the details. But quite a few are, well, angry. They seem somehow put out that I am losing my jowls so easily and so enjoyably.

I’m now used to the looks of admiration and surprise at my success turning, when I mention Atkins, to sneering. It’s usually followed by a variation on the theme of “well, it isn’t a proper diet”, as if the only acceptable form of weight loss is one which involves much suffering (let’s leave aside the low-carb muffins for a moment).

If these people themselves were fat I could understand their attitude, but my fat friends are generally hugely supportive. No, it’s normal-size people who seem affronted. It’s also an exclusively male phenomenon. Neither I, nor anyone I know following this diet, has ever had such a response from a woman.

One newspaper diary column became mildly obsessed — and rather offended — by my weight loss, suggesting that its readers send me “gifts of stollen and mince pies” for Christmas.

The writer wasn’t to know that I had already been allowing myself small periods off the diet anyway. I spent last week in Vienna, where it would have been a crime not to eat cake, and stuffed every carb I could find down my throat. But the more potatoes, chocolate and bread I put away, the hungrier I felt. Within a day back on the wagon my appetite had shrunk again and I’m finding it as easy as ever to stick to the diet.

Now that the weight is dropping off, I’ll happily endorse the fathead report which so annoyed me last year. It wasn’t specific about the IQ points lost per pound gained, nor did it say if it worked in reverse.But that’s an assumption I’m prepared, for the good of mankind, to make. And since I’ve lost 45lb, I must have put on quite a few IQ points. So if you have any tricky personal problems that need solving or any philosophical dilemmas which need unravelling, just get started on Atkins — or ask me to apply my now enormous, lean, honed, brain power.

In the gym, I try to lift the amount of weight I have shed and wonder how I avoided a heart attack. So yes, this year I’m now an evangelist for weight loss. Call me a turncoat if you want. I don’t care. I feel better than I can ever remember before. If only I could so easily shed those self-interested charlatans and nutritionists who would stop me and others from losing weight and enjoying it.

[cyborg]

:sigh: I can't resist roti but I eat it without the potatoes. I can make my own sausages and all that too so this diet should be fun.

[jwh_Denver]

That was the reaction I had also to my 100+ weight loss over the past year.

Good for you. 100 LBS off. Very nice. I betcha you feel a whole lot better. I lost 25 Lbs on a separation diet from my wife who is a an excellent cook. That is going to end soon but I'll need to gain weight. Dad gum pants will fall to my knees if I don't.

[RoseofTexas]

Please pray tell, how do you make a correct bread with a long cool proofing time and moderaton? I would love to get that recipe since I have just learned to bake bread. I'm still in the starting stage, as most of my breads come out NOT GREAT. Eatable, but not great...:(

[GeekDejure]

Opinion: I eat my (low carb) words - thin people are more intelligent than fatties

Yeah... Butt Fat Pee Pull Arm Orin Ven Tive !!! ;-))

.

[Mulder]

Thanks for the info.

I'm thinking about doing this later this year, as I could stand to lose about 10-15 pounds off my gut.

I'm doing 45 situps a day, and will try the diet if that doesn't work.

[MarkL]

low-carb, high-fat Atkins diet

Is it just me, or does this phrase keep repeating itself? Why? Maybe to try to discredit the Atkins diet...

While the plan does call for you to eat fats, they're typically the "healthy" fats. And it does NOT have to be a "high fat" diet.

For instance, when I make eggs in the morning, I'll use olive oil, with just a touch of butter for extra flavor. My favorite dinner is garlic encrusted boneless chicken breasts, which is simply fresh garlic sauteed in olive oil, which is then encrusted on the chicken. And I'll have a side dish of broccolli and cauliflower, steamed.

And I practicly live on tuna. I LOVE tuna... I can make it with a little bit of miracle whip, or just with a little bit of balsamic or champagne vinegar.

Not exactly a "high fat" diet.

Mark

[Alouette]

I started the Atkins program the day before Thanksgiving (yes that's right). I lost 7 lbs. in the beginning, but I'm in a "plateau" right now. I have been on "induction" for 6 weeks. I am afraid to go to the next stage because I'm afraid I will gain back the weight I lost, which is worse than just not losing.

But the amazing thing is, I'm not constantly hungry, and I don't crave sweets the way I did when I was on the Weight Watchers program a few years ago. I can live with this program so I guess I can tough it out for a while longer to see if the scale goes anywhere.

[CARDINALRULES]

I was a major caffeine addict, to the point I was drinking anywhere from 2-6 liters of Mountain Dew a day, more often closer to 6 liters.

I decided in the summer of 2001 to cut back and I did until 9-11 and then I was drinking even more soda than before and my diet was a bunch of junk (pretzels were a favorite), it was so bad that by June of 2002 I was taking Excedrin or Tylenol PM so I could sleep.

As you can imagine that wasn't how I wanted to live and so last spring I decided not only to cut out the soda, I would also try to change my eating habits and get a few medical problems under control. After doing about 2 months of research, I decided on a low carb diet, sort of a combination of Atkins and Carbohydrate Addicts.

In June, I ditched the soda and other than a week of headache hell, I kicked the caffeine addiction and was able to sleep with out meds.

Water, lots of water helped, I also used No Doz a few times, usually one or even a half was enough to keep the headaches tolerable.

I don't even miss it anymore! After almost 20 years of daily soda drinking, I would rather drink water or ice tea with Splenda.

I have been off of low carb since October because I wasn't at home most of the time for 6 weeks and it was easier, then I decided to enjoy the holidays. But I am in the process of making menu plans for the next few weeks and then will be going back on it next week.

There was a major difference in how I felt before I went low carb, and it is even more noticable that I went back (mostly) to my old ways for 2 months...I feel horrible and know in about a week or 2 I will be a lot happier, it makes that much of a difference.

I have had some soda in the past 2 months but no where near my former intake and the addiction hasn't returned.

I am taking Excedrin PMs now only because I had a cough that kept me awake, now I have to ditch them again. ;-`)

[cubreporter]

Good. As for Michael Moore he is a disgrace fat or thin. He is also slovenly so...with him as an example I understand completely. Thanks for a very nice response.

[MarkL]

So can you eat as much of that as you want, so long as you avoid other stuff?

Pretty much... it's weird at first... You can't eat the "real food," just the stuff that makes the "real food" taste good! lol

For instance, you can't have a baked potato... But you can have the bacon, chives, butter, cheese. You can't have milk (you can, but just a few ounces. It's pretty high in carbs), but you can have cream. No margerine, but butter is great. Can't have wheat thins, but you can have pork rinds.

Mark

[Delta 21]

Fresh pumpkin pie from the jack-o-lanterns we picked about 20 miles out in the country.

Pecan pie from nuts I picked from the backyard.

..and for those of you on "diets" there is pineapple upside-down cake (with pecans).

Hell, its probably high in bandwidth too!

[CajunConservative]

I think it's because people were duped for so long on the low fat lie and once they are able to eat fats again the food just tastes so much better people can't help themselves ;o) Remember people aren't hungry on low carb *high fat* diets and after years of starving while gaining weight and losing health they are still amazed with the results of eating fats, losing weight and gaining health. Let's face it real butter and olive oil just can't be compared to margarine and all those other fake fats.

[JRandomFreeper]

You have freep-mail.

/john

[CajunConservative]

I have really good low carb recipes for the pumpkin and pecan pies. The pineapple cake isn't tempting to be honest. My favorite is sugar free cheese cake with strawberries and whipped cream so there ;o) j/k

[JRandomFreeper]

It is high-bandwidth. ;>)

Your seasonings and spices will last longer if you move them away from the heat of the range-top. 8>)

Those pies look good.

/john

[Rennes Templar]

I hate to say this to all you folks. I've been trying to gain weight for years. I'm going to throw out all my fats and creams and cheeses and load up on bread, cakes, pies, fast foods, pasta! YUM!

[Delta 21]

WOW ! ! !

I thought I was bad. I only drink about a 2 liter a day. I like Coke. I have had a few rebound headaches if Ive went a day or 2 without the caffene. Its an over-indulgance really. I like the taste.

It really is the pause that refreshes!

[gcruse]

Some people rather be sloppy and ugly than slim and healthy

Unfortunately, slim and healthy doesn't do much for ugly.
I'm sure Sandra Burnhardt exercises and eats well.  Sadly,
she is still astonishingly unbecoming.

[cyborg]

Lara Flynn Boyle is another example

[Delta 21]

a cyborg having trouble with its diet? You should contact your manufacturer immediatly.

/irony