Opinion: I eat my (low carb) words - thin people are more intelligent than fatties

Times Online (UK) ^ | January 2, 2004 | Stephen Pollard

[SamAdams76]

Next time you see a baker begging in the street, feel free to blame people like me for his plight. It seems that sales of bread have fallen so sharply in the US as a result of the spread of the Atkins diet — and what happens there soon follows here — that bakers are pondering a bleak future. One, Sara Lee, is attempting to revive its fortunes with a low-carbohydrate brand — Delightful Bakery Breads — which will go on sale next week; another large company will follow suit in May. Low-carb bread may sound like an absurdly contradictory invention, but I have a pretty good idea what it will be like, since I have already tried low-carb muffins, chocolate cake, crisps, chocolate and breakfast snacks. They have one thing in common. They all taste like ground cardboard.

I’ve eaten them because I am a convert to the low-carb, high-fat Atkins diet. This means I am also a turncoat. Last year, I wrote on these pages — in response to a report which claimed to find that fatties are thicker than stick insects — that “I’m fat, I’m thick and I’m proud.” Fine in theory, perhaps. But it turned out to be a lie. Soon afterwards, I started dieting.

So much for being fat and proud. I plead just one factor in mitigation. Take a look at the picture next to these words. See what I mean? I think the word is “jowly”. Less diplomatic souls might say “porker”.

Let’s make a deal. If you have the heart to forgive me my slide from porker to porkies, then I won’t mention if you, too, need to follow that January tradition and go on a diet. As millions look in the mirror this morning after the Christmas binge, my message is simple: it’s a doddle. Within a fortnight of starting, even I had lost 5lb. Five months on and I have lost more than three stone — with more to come. For the first time ever, I’m on a diet and don ’t have constant hunger pangs. I’m eating plentifully and yet the weight is cascading off.

I’ve noticed a common reaction from people I meet. Some are fascinated and want to know all the details. But quite a few are, well, angry. They seem somehow put out that I am losing my jowls so easily and so enjoyably.

I’m now used to the looks of admiration and surprise at my success turning, when I mention Atkins, to sneering. It’s usually followed by a variation on the theme of “well, it isn’t a proper diet”, as if the only acceptable form of weight loss is one which involves much suffering (let’s leave aside the low-carb muffins for a moment).

If these people themselves were fat I could understand their attitude, but my fat friends are generally hugely supportive. No, it’s normal-size people who seem affronted. It’s also an exclusively male phenomenon. Neither I, nor anyone I know following this diet, has ever had such a response from a woman.

One newspaper diary column became mildly obsessed — and rather offended — by my weight loss, suggesting that its readers send me “gifts of stollen and mince pies” for Christmas.

The writer wasn’t to know that I had already been allowing myself small periods off the diet anyway. I spent last week in Vienna, where it would have been a crime not to eat cake, and stuffed every carb I could find down my throat. But the more potatoes, chocolate and bread I put away, the hungrier I felt. Within a day back on the wagon my appetite had shrunk again and I’m finding it as easy as ever to stick to the diet.

Now that the weight is dropping off, I’ll happily endorse the fathead report which so annoyed me last year. It wasn’t specific about the IQ points lost per pound gained, nor did it say if it worked in reverse.But that’s an assumption I’m prepared, for the good of mankind, to make. And since I’ve lost 45lb, I must have put on quite a few IQ points. So if you have any tricky personal problems that need solving or any philosophical dilemmas which need unravelling, just get started on Atkins — or ask me to apply my now enormous, lean, honed, brain power.

In the gym, I try to lift the amount of weight I have shed and wonder how I avoided a heart attack. So yes, this year I’m now an evangelist for weight loss. Call me a turncoat if you want. I don’t care. I feel better than I can ever remember before. If only I could so easily shed those self-interested charlatans and nutritionists who would stop me and others from losing weight and enjoying it.

[SamAdams76]

Nuts are dangerous. I have stalled on account of too many nuts. I find that one ounce per day of nuts is all that I can tolerate (weightlosing wise). I alternate my nut intake from almonds to pistachios to walnuts to macadamias. (Peanuts are actually legumes and I have about 2-3 ounces per week of those.)

[wireplay]

Keep in mind that Atkins did not pioneer this diet (it dates to the early 1800s) but a low carb routine works.

I will not give up my alcohol, my caffeine, my cigars, etc. but I can give up baked potatoes and bread w/o a problem. It is the low carb that is so important.

If you are seriously overweight, you may want to follow things strictly. I wasn't and haven't. It works like a charm just to be low-carb.

[HiTech RedNeck]

Is Splenda better for this diet physiologically, than aspartame? Splenda weirds me out - chlorinated sugar.

[cyborg]

I think part of the reason why caffeine is verboten is because it's a diuretic, not something you want on a protein diet. I drink a lot of water myself.

[Revolting cat!]

Skinny and dumb here!

[nycgal]

Coffee is banned?

Caffeine affects your insulin production and interferes with weight loss according to the Atkins book. I drink Trader Joe's Decaf French Roast and can't tell the difference. Try a good brand of decaf.

[SamAdams76]

Don't know. I personally find aspartame undesireable (aftertaste) and prefer Splenda becuase it tastes more like real sugar. I suspect that not having sugar or sugar substitutes at all is healthier but sugar substitutes are probably better then having sugar.

[wireplay]

I think they will be. We are a carb-rich, information age society. We mainly sit around computers, etc. doing little exercise and being tempted by carb-laden foods. The Brits are no different. I think that a protein-centric diet will be the wave for modern societies. The fast-food guys need to adapt and adapt quickly. NO ONE I have ever spoken to about an Atkins-like diet has regretted it.

[Keith in Iowa]

>>Sara Lee, is attempting to revive its fortunes with a low-carbohydrate brand — Delightful Bakery Breads

This is available in my area right now. It is by far the best low-carb bread I have tasted. 9 carbs a slice, 45 calories, and no transfats.

[cyborg]

I ate the best hamburgers when I was there, from Pret A Manger so they have a lot to work with. Plus the best cheese I ever had was in France (giggles).

[Mulder]

Some people just can't accept the fact that meat, eggs, cheese and nuts are actually good for your

So can you eat as much of that as you want, so long as you avoid other stuff?

[wireplay]

British food can be downright humbling with how good it can be...provided you find the right places.

They have a bad habit of deep-frying everything and putting whole fishes in aspic but there are also great food places.

Curry, fish and chips, bangers and mash (sorry, carb-laden), kidney pie, etc. - Great food! England will never abandon carbs...the pubs are too enticing. But I think they will cut down.

[SamAdams76]

"As much as you want" is subjective. I simply eat as much as it requires to not be hungry. I could certainly eat much more than I eat currently but once I am no longer hungry, I stop. I find that exercise suppresses my hunger pangs as well. It is easier to exercise under this kind of low-carb diet.

[cubreporter]

Some people rather be sloppy and ugly than slim and healthy.

Not all people who are not slim are sloppy and ugly and unhealthy. Be kinder than that would you?

[cyborg]

I go next door and get curry goat, chicken,fish,etc. and eat that with salad. I can run on that for a good five hours. When on Atkins it's easy to forget to eat lunch or dinner.

[HiTech RedNeck]

Some people just can't accept the fact that meat, eggs, cheese and nuts are actually good for your (as well as vegetables, berries, cheese

and did you mention, cheese?

[wireplay]

After you start, hard-core, you won't want to eat too much. You feel 'satisfied' most of the time. There are limits but, in my experience, you don't hit them much since you are basically 'full' a lot. When you start going into ketosis, the weight drops very rapidly.

I have seen people lose dramatic amounts of weight in a month. Within a couple of months, people are astonished.

[cyborg]

I wasn't referring to the whole world. I was referring to those people revel in their fat, their ugliness and their digsuting habits like Michael Moore for instance. I know that not everyone who is fat is sloppy, and not all thin people are nice.

But I'll try to be nicer :-)

[cubreporter]

You got it. Exercise...walking, jogging, aerobics, weights...without it you just cannot eat anything you want. With it you can eat what you like in moderation but...exercise is the key.

[wireplay]

I have actually gotten to the point where I cook well enough to be very choosy in where I eat out. I cook my own curry (green and yellow) and do pretty good. Since I did my kitchen remodel, not very keen on eating other's cooking unless it is pretty upscale.

I just enjoy slinging my own food...and I can make it as carb laden, or not, as I want to.