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You Know You're Italian If...
Web | Unknown

Posted on 01/01/2004 8:15:33 PM PST by Mannaggia l'America

A little New Year's humor...

You Know You're Italian If...

  1. You have many relatives named either Joe or Mary, and you have at least one brother named Joe
  2. You grew up in a small house, but you still had two kitchens. (One was in the basement)
  3. When you were growing up, you had five cousins all living on the same street
  4. When you were growing up, you thought that all wine was red and that it only came in gallon jugs
  5. If someone in your family grows beyond 6’ 2”, it’s presumed that the mother had an affair
  6. There were more than 28 people in your wedding party
  7. Your grandfather had a fig tree
  8. You've always wanted a red Ferrari
  9. When you were growing up, you ate Sunday dinner at 2:00 p.m., and on Thanksgiving, your family’s first course was Ravioli
  10. Your big family gatherings were held in your garage
  11. Your favorite movie is the “Godfather”, your favorite television show is “The Sopranos”, and your favorite singers are (in order) Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Jerry Vale, and Louis Prima
  12. Connie Francis songs makes you cry
  13. At least one person in your family does a great impression of Don Corleone
  14. You’ve been hit with a spoon and/or you’ve been hit by a nun
  15. You feel strangely comfortable when you sit on plastic-covered furniture
  16. You know all the words to “That’s Amore”
  17. You’re wife or husband wears a tee shirt that says “Pray for me, I married an Italian.”
  18. You’ve been to the Vatican at least once
  19. For a short time while you were growing up, you wanted to be a priest or a nun
  20. When you were growing up, you thought Jesus was an Italian who lived in Israel
  21. You fight over whether it's called "sauce" or "gravy"
  22. Your mom's meatballs are the best!
  23. If at least five of the above apply to you, congratulations!!! You’re Italian!


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: freeperkitchen; humor; italian; italianamericans
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To: CatoRenasci
Yes I share your optimistic view on a good day also. The only culture clash that ever happened was when my father almost fainted when my mother presented him with curried meatballs for dinner. AND SHE DIDN'T USE PORK.
181 posted on 01/04/2004 5:45:58 AM PST by cyborg
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To: Mannaggia l'America
The word "accumulate" means "Why weren't you here on time"
You've actually been to ski-neck-tiddy, and know how to spell it.
182 posted on 01/04/2004 5:56:15 AM PST by djf
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To: buccaneer81
As a FBI (full-blooded Italian) girl I feel bad that was your experience. But don't judge the whole clan accordingly.

My parents (and I) are from solid peasant stock, I mention this because there is so much ignorance in that class, but my parents avoided falling into that mental trap.

We emigrated to the US in '58, so I'm the real deal. Anyway, my mother really liked the men in my life and they really liked her too. She was and is a no-nonsense person who easily castigated me in front of them when I did something to hurt them, but wouldn't castigate them as she felt that was either my job or the job of their parents.

I'm not too attracted to Italian men, I like 'em lean, hovering around 6', blond and anglo, and my mother never once intimated that she hoped I would choose an Italian man, she only hoped he would be Catholic, and even that was not that important, as long as he was a good person.

I would never abandon my parents no matter what, but there's always been room for the lover in my heart and life and that wasn't something I viewed as an either or situation.

Now, about that five orgasms a day....

183 posted on 01/04/2004 11:50:02 AM PST by AlbionGirl ("Ha cambiato occhi per la coda.")
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To: JoeA
Confess Mary, JoeA is just your screenname, isn't it?
184 posted on 01/04/2004 12:05:37 PM PST by Old Professer
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To: Mannaggia l'America
When you were growing up, you ate Sunday dinner at 2:00 p.m., and on Thanksgiving, your family’s first course was Ravioli

That is dead on!!!

185 posted on 01/04/2004 1:30:26 PM PST by Bella_Bru (For all your tagline needs. Don't delay! Orders shipped overnight.)
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To: carlo3b
Your soup is on the menu for dinner. I am doubling the recipe so I can take it to work for lunch.
186 posted on 01/04/2004 3:52:24 PM PST by notpoliticallycorewrecked
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To: AlbionGirl
Now, about that five orgasms a day....

LOL!! My new wife is the present beneficiary. May German, Scottish, English be more appreciative than FBIs!

187 posted on 01/04/2004 5:55:07 PM PST by buccaneer81
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To: notpoliticallycorewrecked
Your soup is on the menu for dinner. I am doubling the recipe so I can take it to work for lunch.

Since I haven't heard back, I hope you are still alive and well.. LOL.. gulp! . . :)

188 posted on 01/04/2004 10:30:53 PM PST by carlo3b (http://www.CookingWithCarlo.com)
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Comment #189 Removed by Moderator

To: TonyRo76
LOL, I'd forgotten about that line.....

You're correct that many varietals are now widely available that were not so 15-20 years ago. Pinot Grigio has always been around as a clean, crisp, dry white wine, but it became popular as the prices of the more traditionally popular clean crisp dry whites, first real Chablis, then the first substitute for it, Poulliy Fuisse, then Macon Villages and Sancerre, and even real Muscadet sur Lies, became more expensive.

California whites are a whole different categoy, with Chardonnay having become very very popular as the huge plantings of the '70s came on line in the '80s, providing lots of cheap, reasonably good wine, but which became too sweet over time (hence the return to French and Italian whites), then began to become over-priced in the '90s, so people turned to Sauvignon blanc, which had traditionally been blended with Semillon to cut the intense grassiness, which has had a vogue.

Shiraz, of course, is the primary grape of the great Rhone wines, long considered among the greatest reds of the world. Think Hermitage and Cote-Rotie. Chateauneuf du Pape for more modest budgets in the '50s and '60s. Very little shiraz, or syrah as its called in France and California, was planted in California before 1970. There was a little, and some award-winning wines were made with it (or a variant), but it was just not a factor. Zinfandel was the mass quality grape (of somewhat obsure origine) with carignane the mass blending red grape for 'commerical' nonvarietal reds. For some reason, however, lots of Shiraz was planted in Australia, and after WWII, their wine industry really took off. The quality was remarkable as scientific methods were introduced and production modernized. Penfolds led the way, and their Grange Hermitage was the wine that, in the late '50s, made the world take notice of fine Australian wine. [I went to a vertical tasting in 1982 when Grange Hermitage was first brought commercially to the US by Wildman in New York. We tasted a dozen or so vintages from 1957 through 1977 (the wine being sold). It was one of the half-dozen most memorable tastings of my life. The wines were a revelation! A month or so later, Jaboulet, proprieter of some of the best Hermitage, was in town at Wildman (who also handled his wine) and we had a lunch at which both old Jaboulet Hermitage and old Penfolds Grange Hermitage were serverd. Everyone agreed the Australian wine, though different, was in the exalted 'premier grand cru' class as Hermitage. But I digress.] Australian wine first became popular in England as a cheap substitute for French reds, and likewise, started making in roads in the US as the price of cabernet sauvignon went up, zinfandel was made so alcoholic it wasn't drinkable for most people, and generic reds lost favor.

Merlot is another story yet. Merlot is a tradtional blending grape in Bordeaux. In the Medoc, it it is used to moderate the tannins and hardness that Cabernet Sauvignon and Cabernet Franc often have. It is a bland grape, with good color and aroma, but not a lot of struture or tanin. Hence it doesn't do well on its own, generally. In St. Emillion and Pomerol, however, the wines are mostly merlot, and for that reason were traditionally ready to dring young, and fruity, but mostly it doesnt' age (I know, Cheval Blanc and Petrus) for 10-40 years the way traditional Medoc wines do. In California, IIRC, there were only 50 acres or so of merlot in 1970, and that was used for blending. As the Californians in the '70s moved away from their tradtional cabernet style (in which the wine was 80-100% cab, with a little zinfandel perhaps) towards a more French style, the planted more merlot. Someone (probably at Davis) figured out you could grow merlot in the hot regions, and someone decided to sell it as a varietal. This happened about the same time Parker (who doesn't understand cabernet and singlhandedly made St. Emillion and Pomerol popular in the US) was doing his thing. Merlot was a hit because, despite being bland, lacking structure and age-worthiness, it was easy to drink for new wine drinkers: it was a little sweet and very fruity. It required none of the effort to understand that all of the great reds of the world require. Hence, it has become the most popular red.

As you can gather, I don't like merlot much. In fact, I've only bought one merlot for laying down in my life: the 1985 Matanzas Creek, a remarkable wine that reminds me of a good Petrus. Other vintages of the same winery leave me cold. The wine was a sport. Go figure. We'll drink the remaining 2 cases (mostly magnums and a few odd bottles) at my daughter's wedding, whenever that might be (she was born in 1985), and that will be the end of me and merlot.

190 posted on 01/05/2004 5:32:01 AM PST by CatoRenasci (Ceterum Censeo [Gallia][Germania][Arabia] Esse Delendam --- Select One or More as needed)
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To: carlo3b
ROTFLOL

All present and accounted for. My older boy thought it was a bit spicy (and I cut down on some of the pepper), but the husband thought it was great. My little neighbor lady will have a bowl tonight for dinner. She will love it, since she likes her food a little spicy.


Thank your for sharing it with all of us. It will definitely be added to my recipe book. Please Freepmail me the recipe so I can put it my recipe book. When I printed it out from the thread, it of course printed across two pages. AARRGGHH.

I will have to hand over one of my favorite recipes to reciprocate the favor.

191 posted on 01/05/2004 5:53:58 AM PST by notpoliticallycorewrecked (I have Italian tastebuds)
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To: aristeides
Pasta Fagiole is quite easy to make, my friend...

Soak your cannolini beans overnight in warm water. When you're ready to cook them, drain well, add one can of good chicken stock, one fresh head of escarole, one carrot (chopped), one potato (chopped), salt, fresh garlic,onion and crushed red pepper to taste. You can also put a strip of bacon in it, too. Simmer until the beans get soft and, well, soupy. Add a little olive oil (preferably seasoned with garlic and/or rosemary) and a large dose of parmigiana cheese.

Cook your pasta separately, preferably something small and tubular (NOT Elbows!), drain well, add to the soup.

The whole thing takes about 20 minutes...

Totaly awesome meal with some garlic bread, and of course, a glass of red wine. This is the Sicilian version of the Italian classic. I'm sure you'll be getting a different recipe from every region of Italy pretty soon.
192 posted on 01/05/2004 6:10:38 AM PST by Wombat101 (Sanitized for YOUR protection....)
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To: aristeides
Opps! forgot the celery and the chopped, seeded tomato!
193 posted on 01/05/2004 6:12:25 AM PST by Wombat101 (Sanitized for YOUR protection....)
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To: Azzurri
"I love trippa, my mom made the best."

Sorry about your loss, Azzuri. Was your mom Florentine, by any chance? Did she make ribollita? Now that's good soup!
194 posted on 01/05/2004 6:25:08 AM PST by CaliGirlGodHelpMe
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To: God luvs America
For a short time while you were growing up, you wanted to be a priest or a nun

God Bless the Italians
195 posted on 01/05/2004 6:33:11 AM PST by Vision (Always Faithful)
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To: Wombat101
Thanks for the recipe.
196 posted on 01/05/2004 8:13:11 AM PST by aristeides
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Comment #197 Removed by Moderator

To: TonyRo76
Chablis is really two completely different wines. What I call real chablis comes from the Chablis region of France and is a chardonnay wine made quite dry with a special 'flinty' character. It comes in three levels of quality, simple Chablis (usus 20-25 bttle), which is quite good and what you'd like with oysters or sole, Premier Cru Chablis, which is a whole lot better, often ages 3-5 years very nicely and is fairly expensive (30-45/bottle), and Grand Cru Chablis, of which there are six. These are among the very great white wines of the world and ususally in the $50-60/bottle range. But, at that price, they remain a real bargain. Comparable white burgandies cost three times as much.

What you saw around all the time as "Chablis" was California 'chablis', a generic name meant to evoke real chablis, which was a sort of dry (a little sweet really) white wine made from many grapes (but never the expensive chardonnay), often chenin blanc (the Loire grape) and ranged in quality from utter swill (Red Mountain Chablis- $1.49/gallon in 1969) to fairly decent (e.g. the ones made by the better California wineries like Beaulieu Vineyards. California white wine with any pretentions was sold as a varietal, not a generic.

All I have time for now.

198 posted on 01/05/2004 4:28:43 PM PST by CatoRenasci (Ceterum Censeo [Gallia][Germania][Arabia] Esse Delendam --- Select One or More as needed)
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To: mandingo republican
You're 5'4", can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day, but you still cry when your mother yells at you.


ROTFLMAO!
199 posted on 01/08/2004 12:16:54 PM PST by ffusco (Maecilius Fuscus,Governor of Longovicium , Manchester, England. 238-244 AD)
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To: JoeA
I used to work on DeGraw 2 blocks from Smith. I miss Court Street.
200 posted on 01/08/2004 12:20:59 PM PST by ffusco (Maecilius Fuscus,Governor of Longovicium , Manchester, England. 238-244 AD)
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