You Know You're Italian If...

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[Mannaggia l'America]

A little New Year's humor...

You Know You're Italian If...

1. You have many relatives named either Joe or Mary, and you have at least one brother named Joe
2. You grew up in a small house, but you still had two kitchens. (One was in the basement)
3. When you were growing up, you had five cousins all living on the same street
4. When you were growing up, you thought that all wine was red and that it only came in gallon jugs
5. If someone in your family grows beyond 6’ 2”, it’s presumed that the mother had an affair
6. There were more than 28 people in your wedding party
7. Your grandfather had a fig tree
8. You've always wanted a red Ferrari
9. When you were growing up, you ate Sunday dinner at 2:00 p.m., and on Thanksgiving, your family’s first course was Ravioli
10. Your big family gatherings were held in your garage
11. Your favorite movie is the “Godfather”, your favorite television show is “The Sopranos”, and your favorite singers are (in order) Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Jerry Vale, and Louis Prima
12. Connie Francis songs makes you cry
13. At least one person in your family does a great impression of Don Corleone
14. You’ve been hit with a spoon and/or you’ve been hit by a nun
15. You feel strangely comfortable when you sit on plastic-covered furniture
16. You know all the words to “That’s Amore”
17. You’re wife or husband wears a tee shirt that says “Pray for me, I married an Italian.”
18. You’ve been to the Vatican at least once
19. For a short time while you were growing up, you wanted to be a priest or a nun
20. When you were growing up, you thought Jesus was an Italian who lived in Israel
21. You fight over whether it's called "sauce" or "gravy"
22. Your mom's meatballs are the best!
23. If at least five of the above apply to you, congratulations!!! You’re Italian!

[Stentor]

Where is the Polenta. Never mind. I always hated it.

[Lando Lincoln]

I just love the ethnic Italians - they are so full of life. A friend of mine is married to such a lady and she was telling a story about a "loud Italian woman". I remarked that I thought that was redundant. My friend almost had a heart attack! Great fun. Have a great New Year.

Lando

[Quilla]

What a great list and although I'm only half Italian, I can relate to nearly every item. As a child I can remember gazing up at my now 83 year old mother, Teresa, and thinking she was the most beautiful woman in the world. She still has these eyes:

[retrokitten]

Pasta e Fagioli

Thanks so much for posting this recipe! I love it and always assumed it would be difficult to make, but that's an easy recipe.

[Mannaggia l'America]

I never had (or even saw one that I know of) but now think I am going to buy one. I love the fruit, and even more Jesus' use of this tree in the Bible.

I'm thinking of getting one also, just to bring back some old memories. They are supposed to be a little tough to grow here in PA (actually, probably anywhere north of Florida). But my grandfather's always was large and produced lots of figs.

I've been trying (without a lot of success) to reproduce a little of my grandfather's garden. He was amazing - he grew tomatoes (of course), a few varieties of peppers, eggplant, escarole, cabbage, basil, and squash.

What was amazing to me was that he grew all his tomatoes and peppers from seeds he saved from the previous year's crop. And did it all while working at a steel mill during the day and owning a corner store that he ran at night and on weekends.

[Mannaggia l'America]

Do I even need to inform you about Don Giovanni's Italian House Party (Brought to you by Maggio cheese, of course) on 1210 AM every Saturday evening?

I catch it every so often...

[Mannaggia l'America]

gnocchi

My favorite!

When I was a kid and my grandmother made mashed potatoes, I purposefully wouldn't eat any because I knew that if there were any left, we would be making gnocchi the next day.

[stanz]

I just got up!

You have many relatives named either Joe or Mary, and you have at least one brother named Joe

Two uncle Joe's and my mother is Mary.

When you were growing up, you thought that all wine was red and that it only came in gallon jugs

And...I always thought ginger ale was pink.

If someone in your family grows beyond 6’ 2”, it’s presumed that the mother had an affair

Never happened.

Your grandfather had a fig tree

...and grapevines and tomato plants.

When you were growing up, you ate Sunday dinner at 2:00 p.m., and on Thanksgiving, your family’s first course was Ravioli

Ziti

You feel strangely comfortable when you sit on plastic-covered furniture

For us it was plaid throws.

You’ve been to the Vatican at least once

Twice

For a short time while you were growing up, you wanted to be a priest or a nun

Never

When you were growing up, you thought Jesus was an Italian who lived in Israel

No, but I thought he came from Rome.

You fight over whether it's called "sauce" or "gravy"

It was always sauce.

Your mom's meatballs are the best!

Her braccioli were the best!

[Mannaggia l'America]

This dish is also called "Pasta Fazool"

I've had it often...

There was another soup that a lot of the Italians in the area made at Christmas and Easter (and maybe once or twice in between). I don't have a name for it, except we all called it "minest", which is short for "minestrone" or "big soup". But it is nothing like the minestrone you would buy in a can or restaurant.

It involves endives, cabbage, sausage, pepperoni, ham, etc. - and no pasta. I make it every Christmas for our family party, and my aunts still make it also at Easter.

It's not easy to make, but if anyone is interested, I can post the recipie - but someone has to promise to try to make it if I do.

[stanz]

Yeah, the fuzzy slippers have been getting a workout.
It was great talking to Jellybean. I didn't even remember where she lived, so I had to ask how many hours behind N.Y. it would be.

[ArrogantBustard]

In the front yard is a "hen and chicks"

I didn't know "hens & chicks" were an Italian thing ... I just assumed all sane people planted them ... everybody in my family does, including the military families. We've left them all over the country. Plant them when moving into a new house, dig up a few (they propagate like nothing else) for the new house when Dad gets a PCS.

[Azzurri]

Trippa is my favorite, I make it better than anyone in my family.

I love trippa, my mom made the best. When I go out to lunch sometimes I order trippa ("tripe" for the non-Italians) and my co-workers look at it with terror in their eyes. They don't know what they're missing.

This thread brings laughter and tears to my eyes as my mother passed away 4 months ago at the young age of 61. Sundays will never be the same. All of our family (brothers/sisters/neices/nephews/cousins) would eat a huge, fun lunch at my parents house and my mom would make a feast.

[Trajan88]

These posts are awesome!

Me = 100% Italian - and I've got a story for ya. At one time (late 60s) we lived with my grandparents in Valhalla, NY prior to my dad being transferred to Texas). My grandmother's sister lived next door. Whenever I got hungry (which was all the time because everything cooked was awesome), I would scamper accross to aunt Phill and uncle Pat's house and seek the blood of the tomato... Aunt Phill would keep a pot of sauce in the diswasher! When I arrived she pulled the pot out and placed it on the counter - then she'd pick me up, hand me a loaf of bread and I would commence to dipping the bread in the sauce... yummy.

Why did Aunt Phill keep the sauce in the dishwasher? She was a diabetic and was not allowed to have pasta/sauce. When my great uncle Pat caught on to her ways - there was a shouting match that would rival any weapon of mass destruction. But you know, they loved each other very much.

Ciao from the "wilds" of North Texas!

Trajan88

p.s. Always looking for a bowl of grandma's escarole soup and my great grandma's stroufla cookies.

p.p.s. Mom always threatened my "bad" ways with the wooden spoon. I was never hit, but the thought of a direct hit on the my back side scared (and still scares me) more than the plot of the movie "The Exorcist."

[jellybean]

I just got up!

WOW! That must have been some fuzzy slippers party New Year's Eve!! :)

[RIGHT IN LAS VEGAS]

Looks like I'm going to mak a pot this weekend.

[TEXOKIE]

Wasnt sure, but thought you might want to check this out. You know some Italians, dont you?

[ffusco]

1) My middle name is Joseph, My aunt/Godmother is named Maria
2)Grandparents owned a delicatessen in Asoria, Queens
3)Same neighborhood in Astoria.
4)6-2? Uncle Jack is 6-0
5)Grandpa had fig trees. grew vegatables, prepared his own olives and made his own wine.
6)Fisrt cours was manicotte.
7)Backyard parties
8)Favorite"family" movie might also be Rocky
9)Who doesn't!
10)Hit by Mom's wooden spoon till about 14 y.o. (when I broke it over my knee)
11)Never
12)The real Italian side calls it sauce, which it is. The Matriculated side (3rd Generation) calls it gravy.
13)Grandma's were best, Mom's just as good (same recipe) However the family secret was that Grandpa's sauce was better than Grandma's!

[StoneColdGOP]

Bump.

You’re wife or husband wears a tee shirt that says “Pray for me, I married an Italian.”

By the way, can I get one of these shirts?