How You Can Become a Metrosexual (ick alert)

Netscape ^ | 12/28/2003

[Utah Girl]

There is no one hipper than a metrosexual. A who you say? A metrosexual is a straight, urban male who is eager to embrace and even show off his feminine side. That means he gets expensive haircuts, wears designer suits, and uses $40 face cream. And thanks to a certain type of male celebrity, it's now cool for a man to own 43 pairs of Bruno Magli shoes, wear moisturizer, and paint his nails. You're not born a metrosexual. You become one by learning and living by basic rules of fashion, culture, and etiquette. Some say the metrosexual is the new male ideal. (Not to put any pressure on you.) If you're at a loss as to how to do that, you can read all about it in the first-ever guidebook, "The Metrosexual Guide To Style: A Handbook For the Modern Man" by Michael Flocker.

Find out who is and who isn't a "metrosexual"--and maybe figure out if YOU are one!

Metrosexuals DO This:

Invest lots of money in nice accessories, such as watches, designer sunglasses, and money clips.
Clothes should conform to your body. Get tailored suits.
Your belt and shoes must always match. (Black on black works best.)
A silver, stainless steel watchband is a must-have.

Get it from Amazon.com: "The Metrosexual Guide To Style: A Handbook For the Modern Man"

Metrosexuals DON'T Ever Wear This:
Plaid flannel
Pirate shirts

Pleated pants
Mullets
Sport watches
High school or college class rings

Surprise! It's not money or good looks. What women want most in a man is...

[sticker]

I hope the trout were better to you than they were to me

[FLAMING DEATH]

I'm sure they were better to me. In fact, they were so nice, they didn't even bother me at all.

[Kozak]

One pair of sneakers, for exercise, errands and sneaking. A pair of dress shoes for everything else, and a spare pair of dress shoes in case something happens to the first pair.

Come on what wardrobe is complete without a pair of hunting boots?

[Kozak]

Remember Rule #1 at the University of Kookamabura:
No Pooftahs! (with respects to Monty Python)
Right Bruce?

[Kozak]

got a Microtouch Men's Personal Groomer for Christmas. The question is will I be one if I use it.

Not is you use it to clean fish.

[HungarianGypsy]

I like a manly man in blue jeans and a collared shirt. Ok! My husband has too many tee-shirts. But, I still want a manly-man. Not a woosy metrosexual. If it takes a man longer to get ready than a woman, then there's a problem.

[NYC GOP Chick]

Some women prefer well dressed men. Every woman has her own preference. So what you find icky, others find attractive.

A *real* man can be well-dressed (even stylish) and still not give up any of his manliness to do so.

[NYC GOP Chick]

I like well-dressed men also. It's just the idea of men getting more in touch with their feminine sides that has me going Yuck.

The more uncomfortable a man is in the cosmetics department of the department stores, the better I like it. :)

[LisaMalia]

Retrosexual list ping...

Please add me to that list!!!!!!!!!!!!

[bc2]

I am friends with a bunch of guys who are 100% homosexual.

I asked them not too long ago, "what do you think of this whole "metrosexual" thing that everyone is talking about?"

My friend JP summed it up best: "we already have a word for guys like that: we call them fags"

[NYC GOP Chick]

So, what's wrong with mullets?

That's the very *least* of his worries...

[NYC GOP Chick]

Thanks for the ping, my retro-sexual sistah! ;)

[Charles Martel]

Metrosexuals DO This:

Invest lots of money in nice accessories, such as watches, designer sunglasses, and money clips.

>> Bulova Accutron (the tuning fork watch) and old Ray-Ban Wayfarers.

Clothes should conform to your body. Get tailored suits.

>> So my Men's Wearhouse suits are out, right?

Your belt and shoes must always match. (Black on black works best.)

>> Matching shoes and belt are nice, if I'm awake enough to identify colors while dressing for work. Navy blue is a real P.I.T.A. in that regard.

A silver, stainless steel watchband is a must-have.

>> Dang, and my 1977 vintage Twist-O-Flex watchband just gave up the ghost. Looks like a black leather replacement is in order!

Metrosexuals DON'T Ever Wear This:

Plaid flannel

>> Plaid's okay, but flannel is rarely appropriate in south Louisiana.

Pirate shirts

>> Only on "Talk Like A Pirate Day". ARRRrrrr!!!

Pleated pants

>> Pleats are our friends...

Mullets

>> Not since Reagan was in office.

Sport watches

>> How about a vintage Texas Instruments black plastic watch, with the red LED numerals?

High school or college class rings

>> I'll make a note to resume wearing mine ASAP.

:^)

[NYC GOP Chick]

I am friends with a bunch of guys who are 100% homosexual.

I asked them not too long ago, "what do you think of this whole "metrosexual" thing that everyone is talking about?"

My friend JP summed it up best: "we already have a word for guys like that: we call them fags"

Closet cases.

[LisaMalia]

The Ultimate Metrosexual!

[NYC GOP Chick]

Nah. Bad, but not the worst. Remember, I live in lower Manhattan.

[ArrogantBustard]

"we already have a word for guys like that: we call them fags"

Hah!! They're so gay even the gays think they're gay.

[jellybean]

Please add me to that list!!!!!!!!!!!!

My pleasure!

[Centurion2000]

Some say the metrosexual is the new male ideal. (Not to put any pressure on you)

And some people saying this are idiots.

What pressure, metrosexuals can't fight; act like fags and look like weaklings.

Proud knuckledragging barbarian.

[Centurion2000]

. That's probably why Russia invented manly women. ...or should I say, "metrosexual version 1.0"?

You've never met many russian women have you ? They are more educated, more cultured and prettier than your average american woman any day of the week.

And they are feminine. not feminazi (freeperettes excluded from the above-generalization)