Just damn.If you want on the new list, FReepmail me. This IS a high-volume PING list...
Posted on 12/17/2003 1:16:40 PM PST by Korth
WASHINGTON (Dissociated Press) – Bradley A. Buckles, director of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives, has announced his plan to retire in January and enter the private sector. He will head the Anti-Piracy Unit of the Recording Industry Association of America, which has already filed some 300 lawsuits, in just six months, against computer users who may have used the Internet to share copyrighted music files.
"We're thrilled to have Director Buckles joining us," announced RIAA spokesman Norm DePlume. "He brings to the RIAA the gravitas that will strike terror in the hearts of all who might contemplate the illegal copying of music."
The RIAA has come under some criticism for suing at least some parents whose children may have downloaded music without their knowledge or permission, as well as several individuals who apparently shared only legal files over the Internet. DePlume explained that these cases, far from being failures, are among the greatest successes in deterring violations.
"Look, you have to understand ... it takes time and resources to separate the cases of actual violations from the rest. Even unearthing suspects is tricky, given the privacy of Internet use. So an effective program of deterrence can't just wait on finding and prosecuting solid cases – you need to be proactive. And nobody does this better than the ATF.
"Thanks to the ATF, every American now knows that simply being charged is practically a guarantee that your life is ruined. The agency's pioneering use of techniques such as entrapment and hiring informants to commit crimes others can be charged with – well, it has all but eliminated the uncertainty of being able to convict anyone you like without specific evidence of wrongdoing. Those are techniques we hope will transfer successfully to the civil cases we need in order to make examples of ... well, just about anyone will do. Hang enough of 'em out to dry and you'll see people falling in line, believe me."
Asked whether juries present an obstacle to the ATF techniques just described, DePlume laughed.
"Juries? They're a joke. First, the government gets to stack the jury with only those who say they could convict – the process is called 'voir dire.' Then the judge instructs the jury that they can't follow their consciences, but must accept the law as he interprets it for them. That's in criminal cases; in civil cases we have the advantage of a relaxed standard of evidence: you can convict on a 'preponderance of the evidence' rather than 'without a reasonable doubt.'
"Here's just one example, the Georgia Militia case of '96. The government admitted that defendant Jimmy McCranie refused to have anything to do with building pipe bombs, but the jury convicted him for possessing nails and pipes. He's a plumber! Then the government admitted that their own informants had suggested making pipe bombs, listing the components needed and everything. When they couldn't get any of the militia guys to cooperate in making the bombs, they buried the stuff on defendant Bob Starr's property, without his knowledge. And when it became apparent that Starr was building a case against the informants, the ATF moved in and arrested Starr for possession of the materials buried in his yard. The jury sent him up the river, in full knowledge that he'd never even known about the stuff in his yard, that only government people had proposed any criminal activity, and that no bombs had ever been assembled.
"Just imagine how much easier it will make our civil cases if the federal expertise Director Buckles brings from the ATF can be applied to civil juries, too!"
Granted that the property rights of copyright holders are important, wouldn't the proposed methods have a chilling effect on the legitimate activities of millions of Americans? DePlume acknowledges it will.
"We're counting on it. If we can save just one royalty payment by shutting down the entire file-sharing industry, it will be worth the loss of all the legitimate uses of file sharing.
"It's the New American Way. Anyone who has been paying attention over the past decade or so can see that our society has wholeheartedly adopted the method of prior restraint – removing some opportunities to commit crime rather than punishing crimes actually committed. That always comes at the cost of eliminating more freedoms for innocent people than are lost to would-be criminals."
In most cases, though, don't criminals just ignore the prior restraint laws and do what they want?
"Unless they are terrified of being caught. That's the second prong of our attack on pirates. First we need to terrorize the file-sharing industry into submission, eliminating criminal opportunities. Then we need to terrorize those still tempted to copy music illegally by showing that we can nail them on mere suspicion. By applying the ATF model to our efforts at RIAA, we'll have both prongs covered.
"With Director Buckles on board, it'll be 'Showtime' at RIAA! Come to think of it, maybe he can swing us a deal on a couple of tanks...."
Disclaimer for the humor-impaired: This is a joke. No such interview ever took place. There is no Norm DePlume, and opinions put in his mouth can't be taken as those of the RIAA. Got it?
Just damn.If you want on the new list, FReepmail me. This IS a high-volume PING list...
A charter member of the FreeRepublic Funny Names Club.
But, damn: it's ripe with truth!
Brilliant Piece. Wish I'd wrote it.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.