Freeper Obit. TrappedInLiberalHell

12-12-03 | EA

[EggsAckley]

I'm sorry to have to report that one of our own Freepers, TrappedInLiberalHell, has passed away. His profile is HERE

I met Chris this past summer and found him to be a brilliant young man, who unfortunately carried around a lot of painful psychological troubles. He wrote few posts here, but was an active and clever noter, and a very sweet young man.

R.I.P., Chris van Loon
b. 3/2/72, d. 12/9/03

[dubyagee]

Huh, very interesting personal perspective. Thanks. I'm glad you made it passed it. But it's something I have a hard time fathoming.

My mother tried when I was still in high school...I remember coming home from my part time job because sis had called. A vacuum cleaner hose ran from the tail pipe to the window. Her drink and cigarettes sat beside her in the seat. I was furious. I had no sympathy. What about the people who love you? I screamed. I could see nothing but her self pity...

Today, I often find myself in her place. In a pit which you find it hard to claw your way out of. I don't think I made it clear that she didn't die at that time, but some years later from cancer. I miss her terribly..but often I can relate to her depression and her hatred of this world...I still can't relate to how she could have done such to her children, but the fact is, she didn't. There are those that do...evil will attack in any way possible. For some of us it attacks in a manner which makes it appear there is no way out.

[EggsAckley]

Beautiful, Petronski. I for one am here to attest to the existence of depression. Have had it most of my life (58 years, argh!).

I'm just so tickled to see so many people admitting their depression. I hate that it's always a deep dark secret. Like something to be ashamed of.

My favorite depressed person was Beethoven. He was chronic. Not only depressed, his eyesight was failing, and as we all know, so was his hearing. Now, THOSE are some grounds for depression!!
Cheers!

[KangarooJacqui]

Indeed. I'm here.


And in a way, I think Chris is, too.

I can feel him, somehow. Just like his sister and I (we had a conversation about this) "knew without knowing", as soon as he'd left.

Take care, J, and say hi to the twins and their dad for me.

[katnip]

Fiona, you will be happy again.

Please share this thread with any sisters or brothers he may have. It is good to hear nice things about someone you love that's gone.

[EggsAckley]

Someone suggested that instead of flowers, maybe a charitable donation to FreeRepublic might have even more impact. Hmmm? Maybe the Chris Van Loon Foundation, or some such thing.

[Petronski]

One of these days I'm going to get myself a black Lab and just absolutely love the hell out of it. I think it would be a great help.

[EggsAckley]

Fiona, will do. The twins, little sis and dad are due here in about an hour. How about that timing!?!

[Petronski]

You are another of my favorite funny Freepers. I'm glad you're staying!

So very kind of you to say. Thanks for the big smile that's overtaken my face.

[proud American in Canada]

"for now I just want to say that I've lurked here, and I knew you loved him. Sadly, depression took away that knowledge from him, and it took away a lot else besides.

I thank all of you who ever laughed at his jokes, smiled at his puns, or simply appreciated him being here. Lurking will not be the same without him, and I've had to disable my Yahoo Messenger because it reminded me too much of him... and the random FR threads he'd show me to read... "


I honestly don't know what to say. All I can say is that while I never had the pleasure of a direct exchange with Chris, I do know that I read his posts and was always curious about what he had to say. He would probably be the first to agree that FR is so big it's hard to get to know people.

However, I ALWAYS thought he was funny and smart... he still is. He will always be.

I'm not making a lot of sense... but I do feel that he is around, and that especially, he is around you and your family ...

I'm sorry. I wish I could be more articulate.

God bless you and Chris and your whole family, and thanks for what he has given Free Republic, both in body and in spirit.

[EggsAckley]

A black lab? I don't know. I "inherited" my best friend's black lab and she is just about the dumbest, stinkiest, uncooperative creature I've ever come across. LOL! We call her Stinkerbelle, the big black tick.

I think she didn't get much good up-raising. Poor thing.

[Fangorn]

Lots of people have asked what depression is like and some very good comparisons have been made. Regarding what it feels like, in relation to those who want to reach you, in my experience, is best described by this (out of context) phrase from Luke 16.

"...between us and you there is a great gulf fixed: so that they which would pass from here to you cannot; neither can they pass to us, those that would come from there. " The speaker is describing hell, and it's very apt.

To me, it describes the futility that often exists between the depressed reaching out and the loved ones reaching in. I could be quite wrong, this is personal experience.

[Petronski]

We call her Stinkerbelle, the big black tick.

LOL! Sounds perfect.

[DollyCali]

Oh dear lady.. please feel our love..

and concern..

and partial understanding.

Thank you for taking the time to post. I know you have only been here in US about a year. I do hope you have a local support system..

Prayers for you & yours.

A thought that I often think of..and that you can apply to your short marriage...

Don't blame God it is over.
Thank god that it happened

[proud American in Canada]

" You'll be back.

You wont sleep

No this isn't a spell.. "


Or is it a spell...? Hmmm? Yes, I am back.... how did you know ???


;)

[Brad’s Gramma]

Please relay my sympathies to Chris' family. I, too, remember his posts. How very very sad.

[null and void]

God bless.

[KangarooJacqui]

Goodness me...

what a wonderful idea. Chris would have wanted that!

As indeed do I. As an Australian living in the US at the time, my first notification of the Bali Terror Bombings on Oct 12, 2002, came from FreeRepublic.

I followed the November Southern California bushfires (important as Chris and I had hiked that part of the Pacific Crest Trail together) with horror and dread, but always with the facts... right here.

And I know a little story about a mighty fine lady in a certain part of California who followed Sept 11th, 2001, from this site... not unlike someone who's no longer Trappedinliberalhell...

I repeat, Chris would love this idea. Thankyou.

[Petronski]

To me, it describes the futility that often exists between the depressed reaching out and the loved ones reaching in.

Your biblical quote, and this comment, are spot on. Some degree of futility is inevitable because the depressed person and his loved one perceive two different worlds, and perception is reality.

Imagine an argument about colors between two people, neither of whom knows that one is completely colorblind.

[EggsAckley]

Grandma,
You can do it yourself. Look at post #523. It's from Fiona, Chris' wife.
~</;o)

[DollyCali]

The apostle Paul spoke of his "thorn in the flesh"...

this is yours...

{{{{{{{{{{{petronski}}}}}}}}}}}

God can/will help... He really will.