1. Could you please tell us who our Daddy is? Why is it that I"m fabulously tanned and tomkow isn't? Is that a genetic defect or were you trying to prove a point? Just curious.
Ah, My child, dost thou not remember the words of My prophet, "Man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart"? Such differences matter not to Me, therefore why matterest them to you?
2. Who is to be blame for coming up with the idea that Wednesdays was "over the hump" day? Was he a camel or did he just admire them? After all, a woman would never think of such a stupid thing to call Wednesdays.
It is part of My infinite understanding that, should there have been no Wednesdays, there might not be such a thing a Pancakes on Wednesday, would there not? Who gave thought to that, I ask thee?
3. Does the Goddess understand the word V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N? If so, when's she going on a paid one? Anytime soon? Just curious!
Assure thyself, My child, that She whom is known to thee and amongst My people as Goddess, revered by all, and fair in the eyes of Men, is posessed of free will, even as thee. Even as I rested from My labors on the seventh day, even so shall She for whom you show concern take Her ease.
4. Does the USPS really need another rate increase? Are they actually entitled to getting more money? If so, where are my packages? Why are they never on time?
Yes. Yes. In the mail. Because they who send thee gifts, are negligent in their timeliness.
5. I know Ma says you love everyone, but does that mean you love people from "France" as well? Really?
All of My children are precious in My sight, even as are thee, My child. And I grieve the grief of a loving parent, at the sight of My children gone astray...
6. What were you thinking when you created France? Were you having an off day? If so, could you fix that little issue for the rest of us? We can't afford or handle anymore of those types of slip ups. Honestly! Fix it now!
Mojo, My patience with thee is vast, but even so is finite.Those of My children of that land across the sea, yea, even they, Mojo, are but a part of My design, that which shall proceed at My determined pace.
7. Will Queenie be happy with this new decoration style in the Palace or will she change it out next Spring? She loves to shop. Thanks for ensuring that shopping isn't a part of my genetic structure. I hate it!
She, whom thou referest to as Bentfeather, weaver of words and chanter of song, posesses free will even as thee. She also revels in the pleasures of the bazaar and the marketplace, even as thou shalt in time;
8. Who came up with the .99 cent menu items at Wendy's? Why couldn't it have been a penny menu items? Why .99 cents? Seems a bit of an odd number to me!
They that ply their trade in the marketplaces react to their competitors' trade in turn. Study their ways and be wise...
9. When you created "freedom of the press" for humans, did you actually foresee Al Gore owning a Liberal Talk Radio station?
That which is known unto thee as "freedom of the press" is but a creation of those known unto thee as The Founding Fathers, whose divine talent proceedeth from My hands. Those who woul duse their earthly treasure to promote their views are but a part of My design, even as art thou;
10. Why is it when I call my bank that I can't seem to get anyone that speaks English? Is this a conspiracy?
Rejoice thou, My child, that people of other lands come to thy shores, to better their lives, and find their livelihoods in commerce and finance, regardless of their origins. many of these, even these, struggle to learn thy native tongue, therefore thou shalt have patience and understanding with them, even as I have unto thee;
11. Why is Boomer a female in the new "miniseries" on SciFi channel? Was there a reason for that?
Even as those with creative talent, which proceedeth from My will, express that same talent, some do so without regard to My design, or with regard to good sense. They shalt learn the ways of folly...
12. Why does MoJo have to wait six months to begin the second half of SG-1 on SciFi? Couldn't you make them hurry up already?
Turnest thou thy eyes to my previous answer, being the eleventh, for thy wisdom.
13. Do people in Hollywood actually believe what they are saying? Do they actually believe the rest of us really care about their opinions? Really?
I am heavy of heart, My child Mojo, to see the depths to which My children of talent and beauty of that small land, reduce themselves. And it is further saddening, that others of this fair land would hearken to their words, made in spite and falsehood. Be wary of them, O My child, and thou shalt not go astray.
14. Um, do you think you could tell Old Sarge to pick MoJo up on his way to a Christmas vacation that will be fun and warm? (Might I also add that I'm really good at picking out license plates from other states!)
Thy petition is pleasing, My child Mojo, as it is to the ears of My Emmisary, known among Men as Sarge,leader of the courageous, modest among Men, whose talent proceedeth from My hands. Make thy petition known unto him, by way of that steadfast messenger known unto thee as FReepmail.
15. Is Mr. Goat really undercover or is Mr. Tonkin pulling our legs? Is he just trying to hide the fact that he's finally gotten rid of Mr. Goat? Please tell us immediately!
Thy concern for the animals of the pastures, My child, is pleasing in My sight. He, who is known unto thee as Tonkin, but follows the design of his mind and heart, the which is placed therein by My infinite design;
16. Has Ma actually stayed awake at work today or she just pretending to be working as usual. Honestly, she's never really doing anything when I call to ask her a question. It's like she's waiting for me to call to get her out of working.
I charge thee to reach out to My child, Bentfeather, once more, to find out.
17. Did blackie and Mr. Tonkin's dancing really cause the Earthquake over here in my backyard? If so, could you have them do again, but send them to France to do it? Thanks!
My children, known unto thee as Tonkin and Blackie, as they rejoiced in their meeting and fellowship, most assuredly did NOT cause calamities upon the earth, as which is within My power. Do not credit them with such might, which proceedeth from My hands in wrath.
Thou dost concern Me, O My precious child, with thy aversion and wrath towards My children across the sea. Even as they are reviled, so shall they change their hearts, with time, in accordance with My design. My patience I leave unto thee, My precious Mojo.