Posted on 10/31/2003 6:44:18 AM PST by jdege
Recently, Shorty's began frisking individuals and using metal detectors to ensure safety. Will this cause students to stop going out?
By Dan Sanders, Opinions Writer, The Keystone
This weekend, I discovered a new special at Shorty's. it's called the "Oh my god, I'm going to get shot!" And it's absolutely free.
On a routine, ordinary drinking binge this weekend, I stumbled on over to Shorty's. Upon entering the local hangout, I was asked for my ID, even though my hairline clearly broadcasts my legality.
Then, suddenly, another bouncer grabs me and frisks me with a metal detector. "Oh, no," I thought. "I hope I didn't bring my bomb." No, I don't own a bomb. How about my knives, guns or infamous Sword of Doom? No, no, no. Do I even want to drink there any longer? No, no, no.
Here's the problem. I'm all behind the idea of frisking everyone that walks through the door. The frightening thing isn't the precaution; it's the apparent need for that precaution. Does that mean that The Pub is now a runoff spot for Kutztown gun nuts?
It's terrifying to think this is a real problem. There are actually people out there who feel they should carry a gun to a place where they plan to drink alcohol in large quantities. I used to worry about getting clipped by drunk drivers on the weekends. Now, I have to worry about drinking and drive bys.
The craziest part is that if someone is stupid enough to take a gun to a bar, they should be allowed to ever carry a gun. There should be a rule where you can't have a gun and drink ever, ever again. If you want to kill stuff with a tiny cannon, you should have all of your faculties available to you at all times.
Besides, if you're so concerned about your health that you need to defend it with a gun, what the hell are you doing in a bar?
While there's no reason to carry a gun in the first place, there's even less of a reason to take one with you when you're drinking. There's no other purpose in carrying a gun to a bar than killing a stranger who stepped on your shoe, or caused you some other small inconvenience ("I SAID NO ICE!"). That is not a good reason. There are a hundred reasons not to carry a gun into a bar, most of which deal with the lack of logic behind it.
First of all, there isn't any game in a bar. You'll never be out drinking and decide to do some random hunting. At no point will there ever be a deer hitting on your girlfriend, or a bear menacing the dance floor.
Also, we don't need to defend anything. There are no evildoers to ward off, wrongs to right or justice to uphold. Nobody is tied to train tracks, and the owner of Shorty's isn't a laser-wielding evil scientist.
England isn't going to invade Kutztown and claim it for the Queen. Even if they were, the government has all the army it needs. America has never lost a war because were short one man, six bullets and 62 IQ points from central Pennsylvania.
I was talking to a friend of mine about this situation, and it turns out that one of our friends is looking to get his carrier's permit. This is the permit that allows one and all to walk around with a handgun for no good reason. His angle was protection. The fear angle. The what-if-I'm-attacked-by-strangers-for-my-Velcro-wallet-that-contains-more-business-cards-than-dollars-I-have-a-free-bagel-coupon-in-there angle.
Based on the logic of protecting yourself from the imaginary demons that are going to beat you up at the bar, maybe you shouldn't leave the house. You should just stay at home, wrapped in blankets, and take vitamins until you're 90 years old.
There's no need to be this afraid for your wellbeing. By the same logic, I should start wearing a cup to the bar. I've never caught a swift one to the testicles at the bar before, but who knows what tomorrow holds. It could hold my testicles in my stomach. I'd better be safe and wear that cup, and a helmet, and I'd better start carrying that sword of Doom.
Scouts Out! Cavalry Ho!
I'd be glad to oblige.
I'm pretty sure I broke the law 8-10 times just on the way to work today. Time for a National Scofflaw Day.
OK, I'll admit that you guys are my hereos too. ;-)
Yeah, I know - I'm just yanking their chains. ;-)
Taking the time to get trained by a guy like me (okay, I'm a little bit extreme and go far beyond legal reqirements of the law in instructing my students for the CCW, including a mandatrory trip to the range) in order to obtain a Florida CCW permit, seems to indicate a modicum of responsibility in and of itself. You can't drink and be tactical at the same time. If you're carrying, you have to be in condition "yellow" all the time. It's got to be like breathing. A natural event. Drinking will turn your tactical switch to the "off" position. Might as well wear a neon sign that says "Drunk and incapacitated, please ROB ME"
Don't be silly, Criminals only victimize other people... (/sarcasm)
There's no need to be this afraid for your wellbeing. By the same logic, I should start wearing a cup to the bar. I've never caught a swift one to the testicles at the bar before, but who knows what tomorrow holds. It could hold my testicles in my stomach. I'd better be safe and wear that cup, and a helmet, and I'd better start carrying that sword of Doom.
If this writing sample is indicative of the author's true character, he shouldn't worry about a kick to his testicles unless he is lying on the floor with his mouth wide open.
And swilling beer while armed doesn't?
Just because something isn't illegal doesn't make it right. Abortion comes to mind.
Thanks to people like you, legislators feel compelled to pass legislation to take the place of common sense.
My Sensei would call this a moment of opportunity to practice the gentle art of Aikido. "Kotogaeshi" is amazingly effective in situations like this. Forget the firearm, beware the owner.
ITS LEGAL IN MINNESOTA!!!!!
As a matter of fact I had a couple beers while I was carrying last Friday.
Not a good idea.
If you weigh 200 pounds or less, two beers in an hour will put you over the legal limit for carrying, in Minnesota.
Have a coke, next time.
Pennsylvania has been described as "Philadelphia on one side, Pittsburgh on the other with AMERICA in-between..."
I've been to Shorty's years ago when my friends attended school there...it's right down the street from The Cliffs, where many Kutztown University students reside. Perhaps K.U. students should consider going to Basin Street if they are concerned about privacy invasion.
Finding holes in this story is hardly worth the typing. The author doesn't offer anything factual and introduces so-called "solutions" for "problems" that haven't identified themselves.
People who are perfectly fine with being "wanded" in public venues will also gladly accept random roadside searches, mandatory traveling papers, and embedded GPS chips under their skin. Hey, if these safety measures are for The ChildrenTM, it's worth it. [/barf]
~ Blue Jays ~
... Person pointed a gun at a 68-year-old woman who was tending bar and said, "This is robbery. Nobody move. Give us the (expletive) money."
Moments later, bar customer Harold McKinney, 54, shot Person in the head, police said.
(Response #29) ... "Incidentally, the robbers threatened everyone in the bar not just the barmaid. I fired only after the robber held a gun to another patrons head and stated "I'm going to blow your f**kin brains out!"...
... Person is charged with two counts of aggravated robbery, and Hester is charged with one count of aggravated robbery.
McKinney, who is a member of the Northside Citizens On Patrol, is charged with having a weapon inside a liquor establishment and felonious assault.
(Response #203) ...A grand jury declined to indict Harold McKinney...
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