Thinking about Rush

October 14, 2003 | self / vanity

[The Other Harry]

I have a problem with alcohol, so I know something about this. It is something I fight against every minute of every day.

I can quit drinking easily enough, but that isn't all there is to it. My body is adapted to the booze.

When I quit drinking, I can't sleep. I have gone three days at a time with no sleep at all. None. I have discussed this with other aloholics. It's a common problem. Some people have told me that they have never gotten over it. That's a lovely prospect.

To make matters even nicer, there are "night sweats" when you are trying to quit. You lie awake and perspire. Your clothes and sheets get soaked. For me, this usually only lasts a few weeks.

Then there is the diarrhea. This is also normal, but it isn't the least bit pleasant. I have shit my pants while walking my dog. When you think you might want to hit the pot, you have about five seconds to do so.

Worst of all is the anxiety.

I really don't know how to explain this. I don't think I can.

I am basically okay at about a BA level of .20. I can function there. I can drive a car. I can do other things.

If I could stop there, I think I would be okay. But I can't. If there is more booze in the house, I will drink it. I will drink it all. I will drink until I pass out. I regularly wake up in bed with no idea whatsoever how I got there.

But if I am under .20, I am under water. I can't function.

The anxiety builds each day. It isn't anything specific. I just wrap up and get worried. There is nothing to worry about, but I still do it. Sometimes I wrap up into a fetal position and suck my thumb.

Kicking these problems is not so easy.

[Bob J]

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[buccaneer81]

Dude. Get help. Now. You drive at .20? Please get help before you kill somebody (or yourself).

[jd777]

How about A.A? It worked for me. And a lot of people I know.

[Crawdad]

Hey Harry, you got a doctor? Print out what you just wrote here and take it to her/him. If not, call the AA hotline in the phone book. Hell, if you lived in Georgia, I'd come get you right now. I stopped drinking a little over 4 years ago, and your story sounds eerily familiar. I'll pray for you.

[libbylu]

i divorced my husband, he got sober about two years later, 2 years of AA, lol, and several more years after he quit. it has been 10 years now and we have remarried. he eats ice cream every day, 2-3 gallons a week. if he drinks again, we divorce again. God bless you, i hope you get help. it's everywhere for you when you decide.

[Thebaddog]

I'm thinking of Rush as well. I'm thinking of his first bit when he returns. Should it be the PCfootball picks, or the envirowhacko updates he used to do? I hope he comes back with great bits that we haven't heard yet.

I haven't heard the chainsaw in a long time.

[WKB]

I haven't heard the chainsaw in a long time.


My all time favorite is
"In A Yugo"

[red-dawg]

http://www.aa.org

I will pray for you.

[Let's Roll]

I like "In a Yugo" too but it's my second favorite.

They stopped doing my favorite - maybe because they spliced together the voices of real people instead of doing a parody from scratch - was the juxtaposition of Toricelli pounding the podium and ranting that he had never, pound, never, taken anything yada yada - this was interwoven with the monotone reading by the attorney of the guy, who had paid the Torch off, of the items in question "diamond earrings, never, a rolex watch, never, $25,000 in cash, never, a grandfather clock (?) - great stuff.

[Mercat]

Harry, God bless you. Do find a church. I have an addictive personality and minimal social skills. I would probably be an alcoholic except I don't have the stamina. My 27 year old son fights it, has similar symptoms. God has blessed him with psoriasis and depression. He can't threat them and drink so he is gradually after three DUI'S finding a way to stay sober. Again, God love you and you're on my prayer list now.

[mplsconservative]

Have you talked to a doctor about your anxiety? There are several anti-anxiety/depression drugs that are non-addictive and have helped a lot of folks. For my husband, it was miraculous. One day, out of the blue he was hit with severe anxiety. He literally couldn't move. It was difficult getting him to a doctor but between a friend and I, we got him there. After five days on Paxil he was himself again. 6 weeks later, after gradually reducing the dose, he was completely off the meds and has had no further abnormal anxiety. That was almost 7 years ago. I hope you'll get some professional help Harry. What you're experiencing must be just awful. Prayers for you!

[ambrose]

bump

[blackdog]

I've never understood addictions or addiction prone people. I am married to a wonderful woman with addiction problems. The anxiety thing along with night sweats and such sure hit home. The woman has no cycle for sleep/awake whatsoever. Her addiction was alchohol as a teen, speed as a college student which kicked in an eating disorder. She's now addicted to Adderall, Prozac, Klonopin, and self induced panic over anything. She's got an eating disorder that she's completely addicted to. It's more important to her than her own kids.

What I'm getting at is that it's booze for some, but it can be anything to people who are governed entirely by addictions of any sort. Even just destructive behaviors.

Beyond my understanding but not beyond influencing all of us.

Best of luck guy!

[Crawdad]

I've got a friend who says his drug of choice was "more".

[Thebaddog]

My favorite is the football picks because he was right a lot of the time for all the gooy reasons. I want more of that, Rush.

[DoughtyOne]

We're pulling for you bud. You've made the first step. You know you've got a problem. You're not the only one.

When you attend AA it will become clear right away that local community leaders and noteables share your problem. We all have our own specific problems, so don't think just because yours is alcohol and mine isn't, that you're somehow less.

If you can write what you did on the forum, you've got enough gutts to kick this baby. Get help and let us know how you're doing. You're the only one who counts here Harry. Do this for you.

If you fall, get right back up and keep moving in the right direction.

I'm on your side.