Crocodiles spotted up tree

Ananova ^ | 09/19/03 | Staff Writer

[bedolido]

Workers at a South African animal shelter have been baffled after receiving a call from a man saying there were two crocodiles up a tree.

One employee, who thought the call was a joke, told the caller: "We all know that crocodiles can't climb trees."

However, when the animal protection officers arrived on the scene in a Johannesburg suburb they spotted the two young crocs perched among the branches.

The animals were badly dehydrated and the pair died shortly afterwards, despite attempts to revive them with water.

It remains unclear how the crocodiles ended up in the tree.

Story filed: 13:20 Friday 19th September 2003

[PeoplesRepublicOfWashington]

Bush and Bin Laden decided to settle the war once and for all with one big dog fight. They would have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side's dog won would be entitled to dominate the world.

Bin Laden found the biggest, meanest Doberman and Rottweiler dogs in the world and bred them with the biggest, meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from the litter and removed his siblings which gave him all the milk.

After 5 years, they came up with the biggest, meanest dog the world had ever seen. Its cage needed steel bars that were 5" thick and nobody could get near it.

When the day came for the dog fight, Bush showed up with a strange looking animal. It was a 9-foot-long dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for Bush because there was no way that this dog could possibly last 10 seconds with Bin Laden's dog.

When the cages were opened, the dachshund came out of its cage and slowly waddled over towards Bin Laden's dog. Bin Laden's dog snarled and leaped out of its cage and charged the American dachshund but when it got close enough to bite, the dachshund opened its mouth and consumed Bin Laden's dog in one bite. There was nothing left of Bin Laden's dog at all.

Bin Laden came up to Bush, shaking his head in disbelief. "I don't understand how this could have happened. We had our best people working for 5 years with the biggest, meanest Doberman and Rottweiler dogs and the biggest, meanest Siberian wolves in the world."

"Aw, that's nothing," said Bush. "We had Michael Jackson's plastic surgeons working for 5 years to make that alligator look like a weiner dog."