[Just another Joe]

The Lounge is open!

[Argh]

Hiya, Joe!

[SandyEgo]

Hellooooooo???? Man, this place is empty tonight! Just returned from seeing the French painting exhibition (from the Walters Museum in Baltimore) at the Nelson Atkins Museum here in KC...wonderful. Altho, I oil paint as a hobby, so I probably enjoyed it more than most.

Let's hope the above mentioned car accident doesn't turn out like this one:

Mrs. Jones gets a call from the hospital.
> They tell her that her husband's been in a terrible
> car accident. She rushes to the hospital, runs in to
> the ER and says her husband's been in an accident.
>
> They tell her Dr. Smith is handling the case.
> They page the doctor. He comes out to the waiting
> room to see a terribly upset Mrs. Jones.
>
> "Mrs. Jones?" the doctor asks.
>
> "Yes sir, what's happened? How is my husband?"
>
> The doctor sits next to her and says, "Not good news.
> Your husband's accident resulted in two fractures of his
> spine."
> "Oh my God" says Mrs. Jones, "what will be his prognosis?"
>
> "Well, Mrs. Jones, his vital signs are stable.
> However, his spine is inoperable. He'll have no motor skills or capability. This means you will have to feed him."
>
> Mrs. Jones begins to sob. "And you'll have to turn him in
> his bed every two hours to prevent pneumonia."
>
> Mrs. Jones begins to wail and cry loudly.
>
> "Then, of course," the doctor continued, "you'll have to
> diaper him as he'll have no control over his bladder and
> of course these diapers must be changed at least five
> times a day."
>
> Mrs. Jones begins to shake as she cries, sobs, wails.
>
> The doctor continues: "And you'll have to clean up his
> feces on a regular basis as he'll have no control over
> his sphincter. His bowel will engorge whenever and quite
> often I'm afraid. Of course you must clean him
> immediately to avoid accumulation of the putrid effluent
> he'll be emitting regularly."
>
> Now Mrs. Jones is convulsing sobbing uncontrollably
> and beginning to wither off the bench into a sobbing
> pitiful mass.
>
> Just then Dr. Smith reaches out his hand and pats
> Mrs. Jones on the shoulder.
>
> "Hey, I'm just fucking with you, he's dead."

[Gabz]

Better late than never, I guess!!!!!!!!!!!

[Conspiracy Guy]

Hi bye I'm diving drunk right now.

[SheLion]

Keep me on the Puff List, Joe. I hope to be back before long!

[MeekOneGOP]

Hillary Clinton was out jogging one morning along the parkway when she tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below. Before the Secret Service guys could get to her, 3 kids who were fishing pulled her out of the water. She was so grateful she offered the kids whatever they wanted.

The first kid says, "I want to go to Disneyland." Hillary says, "No problem, I'll take you there on my special senator's airplane."

The second kid says, "I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan's." Hillary says, "I'll get them for you and even have Michael sign them!!"

The third kid says, "I want a motorized wheelchair with a built in TV and stereo headset!"

Hillary is a little perplexed by this and says, "But you don't look like you're handicapped."

The kid says, "I will be after my dad finds out I saved your ass from drowning."