30 things you'll never hear a woman say

nomarriage.com ^ | ?? | ???

[freepatriot32]

1. You know, I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me.

2. The new girl in my office is a real beauty, and a stripper too, I invited her over for dinner on Friday.

3. While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal they'll still cover.

4. Bar food again! Kick a--.

5. I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your ex-girlfriend has class.

6. That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am. Cool, I'm gonna go over and talk to her.

7. Let's just leave the toilet seat "up" at all times, then you don't have to mess with it anymore.

8. I've decided to buy myself a boob job. How big do you want'em?

9. It's only the third quarter, you should order a couple more pitchers.

10. Honey, come here! Watch me do a Tequila Shot off of Stephanie's bare a--.

11. My mother is going to take care of the tab, so order another round for you and your friends.

12. I'm so happy with my new hairstyle, I don't think I'll ever change it again.

13. Damn! I love when my pillow smells like your cigars and beer.

14. You are so much smarter than my father.

15. If we're not going to have sex, then you have to let me watch football.

16. Are you sure you've had enough to drink?

17. I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.

18. You're so sexy when you're hung over.

19. I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.

20. Let's subscribe to Hustler.

21. I'll be out painting the house.

22. I love it when you ride your Harley, I just wish you had more time to ride.

23. Honey, our new neighbor's daughter is sunbathing again, come see!

24. No, No, I'll take the car to have the oil changed.

25. Your mother is way better than mine.

26. Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine's Day thing and buy yourself something.

27. Listen, I make enough money for the both of us, why don't you retire.

28. You need your sleep ya big silly, now stop getting up for the night feedings.

29. Look! My a-- is fatter than yours!

30. Let's get rid of my friends and keep all of yours.

[freepatriot32]

if you ever hear your woman saying any of these things check the closet for rod serling because you are in the twilight zone :-)

[MEG33]

I object to #3.Been there done that!

[riri]

Well, I know I've said, at least, 4 and 8.

[dandelion]

Me, on #3 - but it was the FIRST infamous 1-yard fourth for Dallas. My hubby missed it, and I had to explain - he thought I surely had it wrong, they'd never do that...

[CWOJackson]

31. What an attractive girl and I'm sure those breasts are real.

[Mr. K]

really? are you still married *wink*

[NYpeanut]

A quick little trip to this loser's site and I almost felt sorry for him, but somehow, I know he brought it on himself.

[HitmanLV]

32. "You know, Ric Flair and Abdullah the Butcher are my favorite wrestlers, too."

[Guillermo]

32. Isn't she beautiful??

[TexasCowboy]

"7. Let's just leave the toilet seat "up" at all times, then you don't have to mess with it anymore."

Actually, my last wife said that as she walked out the door.
Haven't seen her since.....

[tet68]

#24 Honey, does this dress make me look too slim?

[Iwo Jima]

I really have too many shoes.

[PigRigger]

Here's another

No, No, I insist, let me pay for dinner; you've done enough already.

[CWOJackson]

I've actually seen "ladies", and one so-called guy, posting on FR claiming that the only reason people made such a big deal out of PFC Lynch was because she's petite and pretty.

Wow, how about pulling in the claws girls!

[TexasCowboy]

32. "Honey, I'm never going to have a headache again!"

[LanPB01]

33. "Today's wrestlers can't compare to the glory days of the 80's, when Ric Flair was in his prime, The Four Hoursemen were dominant, and the NWA had the highest rated program on WTBS."

[Rummyfan]

Ping!

[NativeNewYorker]

My son's 2nd grade teacher told the crowd on Parents' Night that she was giving the kids a math assignment involving their mothers' shoes.

The men burst into hysterical laughter, and the women sat very very still.

[TexasCowboy]

32. "Let's don't go to that stupid mall today! Let's stay home and swig beer and watch porn!"

[jwh_Denver]

#33 - I've got so many great outfits I can wear tonight!