30 things you'll never hear a woman say

nomarriage.com ^ | ?? | ???

[freepatriot32]

1. You know, I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me.

2. The new girl in my office is a real beauty, and a stripper too, I invited her over for dinner on Friday.

3. While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal they'll still cover.

4. Bar food again! Kick a--.

5. I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your ex-girlfriend has class.

6. That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am. Cool, I'm gonna go over and talk to her.

7. Let's just leave the toilet seat "up" at all times, then you don't have to mess with it anymore.

8. I've decided to buy myself a boob job. How big do you want'em?

9. It's only the third quarter, you should order a couple more pitchers.

10. Honey, come here! Watch me do a Tequila Shot off of Stephanie's bare a--.

11. My mother is going to take care of the tab, so order another round for you and your friends.

12. I'm so happy with my new hairstyle, I don't think I'll ever change it again.

13. Damn! I love when my pillow smells like your cigars and beer.

14. You are so much smarter than my father.

15. If we're not going to have sex, then you have to let me watch football.

16. Are you sure you've had enough to drink?

17. I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.

18. You're so sexy when you're hung over.

19. I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.

20. Let's subscribe to Hustler.

21. I'll be out painting the house.

22. I love it when you ride your Harley, I just wish you had more time to ride.

23. Honey, our new neighbor's daughter is sunbathing again, come see!

24. No, No, I'll take the car to have the oil changed.

25. Your mother is way better than mine.

26. Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine's Day thing and buy yourself something.

27. Listen, I make enough money for the both of us, why don't you retire.

28. You need your sleep ya big silly, now stop getting up for the night feedings.

29. Look! My a-- is fatter than yours!

30. Let's get rid of my friends and keep all of yours.

[goldstategop]

"Honey, I'll take you over my gay male friends cause you're sooo good with the kisses and you're quite a romp in the sack."

[King Prout]

?

[BJungNan]

One thing you will never hear a man say, "Excuse me mam, when you bend over like that I can see right down your blouse."

[kidd]

10. Honey, come here! Watch me do a Tequila Shot off of Stephanie's bare a--.

The rest are funny, but this one pisses me off. There is a real trend to accept lesbianism because of some bizarre perception that most men enjoy this perversion. I've met guys who like that stuff, but OTOH I've met faggots too. Me and most of my friends have only ever sought one woman at a time. Sorry - most guys are not perverts.

This is just another route to try and make homosexuality mainstream.

[goldstategop]

Will you ever hear your woman say it?? ;-)

[King Prout]

oh. I have heard words to that effect several times.
I have heard "I'll take you over my lesbian girlfriend" too
Yes, I'm gloating.

[King Prout]

Having done a threesome, ONCE, I can say this: irrespective of whether or not it is perverse, it is assuredly too confusing to be enjoyable. Not something I have chosen to repeat.

[goldstategop]

Oh darn! And here I was thinking hard of something I'll never hear a woman say, LOL.

[King Prout]

with women, never say never - it is against their nature to let us nail them down in any concrete manner, they're too contrary ;)

[goldstategop]

That's a safe rule. After a lifetime of marriage a wife knows all about her husband while he is still trying to figure out what makes her tick.

[King Prout]

I gave up on trying to figure them out long ago, when I realized that THEY don't know what they want.
*shrugging*
It is a game that passed the point of diminishing returns before "hello"
I just try to be nice to 'em and hope for the best.

[CanadianLibertarian]

. Honey, come here! Watch me do a Tequila Shot off of Stephanie's bare a--. The rest are funny, but this one pisses me off. There is a real trend to accept lesbianism because of some bizarre perception that most men enjoy this perversion.

Youre right this is a subtle attempt at indoctrination with the normalcy of lesbianism. Having said that.....damn do I love the threesome thing! Sorry dude, perversion or not, you're out of your tree if you don't think most guys don't like this.

[kidd]

Not in my circles. First of all, most real lesbians are dogs. Next, most will admit that the biggest reason for doing it with two girls at once is for bragging rights. Most of my friends think that married sex is the best.

[Scenic Sounds]

Oh yes, it could definitely happen. She might say that if the neighbor's daughter weighs 300 pounds.

Particularly if she was a 300 pound Newfie:

[CholeraJoe]

"My college roommate is coming to visit this weekend. How about a threesome?"

[Revolting cat!]

136. Arf, arf!

[rrrod]

and another sister?

[ko_kyi]

These are indeed tough noogies!

Hey, isn't that a line from Bored of the Rings?

[N. Theknow]

#35. Stop and ask directions? What the Hell is wrong with you?

[tiamat]

ko_kyi wrote:

These are indeed tough noogies!

Hey, isn't that a line from Bored of the Rings?

***********************************************

Actually I think it is.

Said by Goodgulf Greyteeth, as I recall!

There was a LOTR thread recently that got over-run with "Bored". Good fun!

Tia