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Pensioner finds burglar with testicles impaled on broken window
Ananova ^
| 07/11/03
| Staff Writer
Posted on 07/11/2003 12:25:41 PM PDT by bedolido
A pensioner found a burglar with his testicles impaled on a broken window in her bathroom.
When the man screamed he was dying, Joyce Edwards replied: "Good."
The 80-year-old had been woken by noises from the bathroom of her home in Crowthorne, Berkshire.
When she went to check, she saw the man dangling on shards of glass in his groin, says The Sun.
She said: "He cried out to me, "I'm dying, please help me". But I was so cross I shouted back "Good" and ran out of the house."
The pensioner alerted neighbours who called police and an ambulance. It's believed the man may have lost four pints of blood.
He was treated in hospital, but medics refused to say whether he had lost either of his testicles.
A 35-year-old man from Finchampstead, Berkshire, was later arrested and charged.
Story filed: 08:39 Friday 11th July 2003
TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS:
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1
posted on
07/11/2003 12:25:41 PM PDT
by
bedolido
To: mhking
Ping
2
posted on
07/11/2003 12:26:07 PM PDT
by
bedolido
(Ann Coulter... A Conservative Male's Natural Viagra)
To: bedolido
He was treated in hospital, but medics refused to say whether he had lost either of his testicles. Potential Darwin candidate, then...
3
posted on
07/11/2003 12:27:02 PM PDT
by
Sloth
("I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!" -- Jacobim Mugatu, 'Zoolander')
To: bedolido
He'll never do that again.
4
posted on
07/11/2003 12:27:02 PM PDT
by
dfwgator
To: dfwgator
More specifically, he will never have the balls to do that again.
To: 11th Earl of Mar
Only, if their brass ones.
6
posted on
07/11/2003 12:28:50 PM PDT
by
The G Man
(The left hates Bush more than they love America)
To: bedolido
He was treated in hospital, but medics refused to say whether he had lost either of his testicles. With luck, he'll lack the balls to break into anyone elses home in the future.
7
posted on
07/11/2003 12:28:54 PM PDT
by
South40
(Get Right Or Get Left)
To: bedolido
Don't forget that this is England. The old woman will probably be arrested and sentenced for assaulting the intruder.
To: bedolido
Home vasectomy practiced in someone else's home is almost never a good idea.
To: bedolido
The perp was later discovered to be an employee of Gillette.
10
posted on
07/11/2003 12:29:24 PM PDT
by
AxelPaulsenJr
(Shriner's Childrens Hospitals Provide Free Medical Care to Those In Need.)
To: bedolido
I guess Joyce Edwards can now look forward to being sued. The perp will claim that his sex life was ruined by her carelessness.
11
posted on
07/11/2003 12:29:26 PM PDT
by
csvset
To: 11th Earl of Mar
Beat me to it. LOL!
12
posted on
07/11/2003 12:29:26 PM PDT
by
South40
(Get Right Or Get Left)
To: bedolido
Why do so many of these stories seem to come from the English press?
To: Bloody Sam Roberts; Constitution Day; dansangel; DaughterOfAnIwoJimaVet; Eaker; eddie willers; ...
 |
Industrial Strength
Humor
 |
No amateurs, please.
Send FReepmail if you want on/off ISHP list |
Some people actually opt for that kind of pain. Yeesh.
14
posted on
07/11/2003 12:30:07 PM PDT
by
martin_fierro
(A v v n c v l v s M a x i m v s)
To: bedolido
He should know better than to hang out around some grannies window!
15
posted on
07/11/2003 12:30:15 PM PDT
by
isthisnickcool
(Liberals - Their neural synapses are corroded.)
To: 11th Earl of Mar
You got that right. . .I mean, really, she should have had safety glass!!
To: bedolido
Given this is the UK, I'll predict she'll be arrested for saying "Good" and he'll be able to sue her successfully.
He'll put the ball back in her court.
17
posted on
07/11/2003 12:31:05 PM PDT
by
kcar
(T)
To: bedolido
thats gotta hurt.
18
posted on
07/11/2003 12:31:47 PM PDT
by
toothless
(I AM A MAN)
To: Right Wing Professor
Why do so many of these stories seem to come from the English press? Due to restrictions on gun ownership, Brits are reduced to buying extra-fragile windows as a means of home defense.
19
posted on
07/11/2003 12:32:15 PM PDT
by
Sloth
("I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!" -- Jacobim Mugatu, 'Zoolander')
To: All
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