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Pensioner finds burglar with testicles impaled on broken window
Ananova ^
| 07/11/03
| Staff Writer
Posted on 07/11/2003 12:25:41 PM PDT by bedolido
A pensioner found a burglar with his testicles impaled on a broken window in her bathroom.
When the man screamed he was dying, Joyce Edwards replied: "Good."
The 80-year-old had been woken by noises from the bathroom of her home in Crowthorne, Berkshire.
When she went to check, she saw the man dangling on shards of glass in his groin, says The Sun.
She said: "He cried out to me, "I'm dying, please help me". But I was so cross I shouted back "Good" and ran out of the house."
The pensioner alerted neighbours who called police and an ambulance. It's believed the man may have lost four pints of blood.
He was treated in hospital, but medics refused to say whether he had lost either of his testicles.
A 35-year-old man from Finchampstead, Berkshire, was later arrested and charged.
Story filed: 08:39 Friday 11th July 2003
TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS:
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To: bedolido; All
The perpetrator was indeed...."WELL-HUNG"!
To: lelio
Is that in Middlesex?
From the perp's point of view it is now!
To: 7 x 77
I would. God has a very good sense of justice.
43
posted on
07/11/2003 12:49:20 PM PDT
by
Sloth
("I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!" -- Jacobim Mugatu, 'Zoolander')
To: bedolido
Hell, you're #1 on the list!
I just didn't ping you to your own post. <|:)~
44
posted on
07/11/2003 12:50:07 PM PDT
by
martin_fierro
(A v v n c v l v s M a x i m v s)
To: Right Wing Professor
"Maybe they have a point. Inflicting this particular kind of injury with a gun on a fully clothed person is a difficult shot. "
Not with a shotgun, as commonly-used in home defensive purposes.
45
posted on
07/11/2003 12:51:20 PM PDT
by
MineralMan
(godless atheist)
To: bedolido
When I first read it, this story sounded like bollocks.
46
posted on
07/11/2003 12:51:35 PM PDT
by
Sloth
("I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!" -- Jacobim Mugatu, 'Zoolander')
To: martin_fierro
Oh man. You are a bad, bad person. LOL
To: bedolido
Sounds like his hot rod is missing two nuts and is about 2 quarts low. Call Jiffy Lube!
To: Vic3O3; cavtrooper21
ROTFLMAO!
Semper Fi
49
posted on
07/11/2003 12:56:07 PM PDT
by
dd5339
(Lookout Texas, here we come!)
To: bedolido
Looks like he was trying to burgle the family jewels and she got his instead.
Leni
To: Sloth
I would. God has a very good sense of justice. Not the god incarnated in Jesus, who was forever telling people to forgive. He didn't want justice but mercy. None of us would survive justice.
51
posted on
07/11/2003 12:57:51 PM PDT
by
7 x 77
To: DaughterOfAnIwoJimaVet
Industrial Strength (albeit discreet) Humor, baby. <|:)~
52
posted on
07/11/2003 1:00:49 PM PDT
by
martin_fierro
(A v v n c v l v s M a x i m v s)
To: csvset
There was a case in the US where a robber broke into a house and while tramping through the place he stepped into a glass table and sliced open an artery, bleeding to death. The family of this fine upstanding citizen sued the homeowner successfully for wrongful death.
You can't make this stuff up.
53
posted on
07/11/2003 1:00:57 PM PDT
by
Vesuvian
To: 7 x 77
I would. God has a very good sense of justice. Not the god incarnated in Jesus, who was forever telling people to forgive. He didn't want justice but mercy. None of us would survive justice.He did say, "Cast your Nuts upon the water and they will return to you" (New King Fred version. He cursed a Nut tree when he found no nuts on it. He sent an apostle to an orchard and had him bring back some nuts and found a coin in one, so he could render unto the pensioner what was pensioned. And don't forget the four kings at His birth, we heard of the Gold, Frankenscents and Myrh. The forth had also brought a sack of nuts.
54
posted on
07/11/2003 1:05:30 PM PDT
by
bedolido
(Ann Coulter... A Conservative Male's Natural Viagra)
To: bedolido
forgot to add... forgive Lord for my foolishness.
55
posted on
07/11/2003 1:07:32 PM PDT
by
bedolido
(Ann Coulter... A Conservative Male's Natural Viagra)
To: justanotherfreeper
According to recent statistics, you are SIX TIMES more likely to get mugged in London than in NYC. Go figure...
56
posted on
07/11/2003 1:08:55 PM PDT
by
schlitzsmoke
(Excuse my parenthetical rantings and tangents)
To: dfwgator
Yes, he will. And he will probably sue the old lady for not using safety glass in her windows so that robbers wouldn't be hurt by jagged glass. It WAS in Great Britain, after all.
57
posted on
07/11/2003 1:13:45 PM PDT
by
Blood of Tyrants
(Even if the government took all your earnings, you wouldn’t be, in its eyes, a slave.)
To: bedolido
fortunately for him, now he can at least have a pair for his truck.
Bumper nuts
To: bedolido
"I'm dying, please help me". But I was so cross I shouted back "Good" and ran out of the house." Gee, I wonder how that compares to driving home with a man stuck in your windshield!
I know, I know -- it doesn't compare at all. One was an innocent victim and one was a criminal -- but I can't help playing the Devil's advocate.
To: 7 x 77
I wouldn't want to be an 80-year-old child of God, whose a short time away from meeting my Maker, having recently told another child of God that I was happy about his dying.
Do you really think that God wouldn't understand how she was feeling ?
60
posted on
07/11/2003 1:26:19 PM PDT
by
Quester
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