Posted on 04/18/2003 11:38:16 AM PDT by 1stFreedom
My friends unwed, 20 something year old daughter got pregnany recently. The young woman had an abortion, but thank God it didn't take. Now she is going to keep the baby.
The father is half way across the country and wants to have the baby killed. Typical man, want's the fun involved in making a baby but doesn't want the responsiblity of the results of having sex.
My friend is involved in the Church and pro-life activities. Her children were brought up pro-life. So how is it her daughter had an abortion??? How is it her daughter got pregnant in the first place?
Dating.
It all comes down to the fact that people, for the most part, cannot or will not control themselves. I know this from personal experience.
Letting your 20 something year old daughter travel across the country to visit a boyfriend is absurd. You can bet that about 90% of overnight visits by young adults involves sex.
In the past the problem of overnight sex romps was dealt with by sewing the man up in a sack that he couldn't get out of until the morning. Sounds silly? You bet, but, what would you rather do, do something silly or have a pregnant daughter and/or a dead grandchild?
In the past "dates" were chaperoned, providing little or no opportunity for intimate relations. The benefits of such "dating" is that once your jets cool, you can make good decisions about the other person.
Our daughters, even those into their 20's, need protection by parents. If they live at home, there needs to be rules about dating and men. One might think that this would scare away men. If a man isn't willing to abide by these rules, then what is he really after? Is he just after sex? If he is really interested, I bet he'll be willing to be chaperoned.
Friends need to chaperon friends. Double "dating" provides accountablity, peer pressure not to have sex, and it lessens the opportunity for sex.
Also, women shouldn't let a man in their home at all unless a parent is there.
Finally, tell your daughters that if they are pregnant, to tell you first before telling the baby's father. Have them invite the gentleman to your home, and have them tell the father there.
Why? Because more often then not, a man will arrange an abortion appointment. When the woman comes over he'll drive her to the clinc. This is what happened to my friends daughter. She went to his state and house and he drove her right to the clinic!
Never, never, as long as your daughter lives under your roof, ever let your daughter spend the night with a boyfriend. IF she thinks this is silly and does not abide by it, show her the door.
If you think this is silly, then you are just part of the problem. What is worse, chaperoned "dating" and protecting your daughters, or rampant abortion, AIDS, and children without participating fathers? Think about it really good.
So far, Dating is an utter failure.
You're being silly now. Just do the best you can do. Pass on your knowledge and your values and pray they always remember to respect themselves and others. Going away to college is not an evil thing. They'll make mistakes on their own and if they are smart, they will learn and strive to do better. But, you know that already.
I'd dispute that. When my mother was in high school, students were allowed to leave the premises during lunch hour if they chose, and many did and went to the local burger joint instead of the cafeteria. Nowadays, even when students have nothing but study hall for the last period of the day, they're not allowed to leave before the closing bell.
What does any of that have to do with sex? Not much directly. But it does speak volumes about society's attitudes toward absolute control of the "helpless" youth. It's a small wonder then, that personal responsibility doesn't exactly thrive in such an environment.
Hope you have a wonderful honeymoon once you do tie the knot.
You got that right. I made a few bad choices, including male companions, and not always being sexually responsible. I paid for it. Guy was pushing me to have an abortion, I didn't want it, my parents weren't speaking to me. . . .
I made the wrong choice. Wound up infertile and emotionally devastated. I couldn't forgive myself. My pastor worked with me, and I thought I had forgiven myself, but every August I wonder. My child would be 22 this August. Abortion is not an easy way out. I know from experience.
I blame my parents in that I learned about sex from bathroom walls, and they treated me like I had the plague when I told them I was pregnant. The rest was my fault. The guy wasn't terribly helpful, but the ultimate decision was mine.
My story will come up shortly. My father is a high school teacher and college professor and church "leader." My mother is a nurse and a diaconal minister. Sound wonderful? You (the collective "you") may have them.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.