Posted on 03/21/2003 7:32:50 PM PST by MarcoPolo
I was looking for some eye-catching lines to put on some posters I'm taking to a rally soon. I thought I'd like to express my hatred for France at the same time that I express my love for America so I began looking for anti-French slogans. Instead, I found this website full of some of the most hilarious anti-French jokes I've ever heard. Here are a few.
"What do you call a Frenchman advancing on Baghdad? A salesman".
What are the tall steeples on French churches now called? Minarets!
Q: How do you confuse a French Soldier? A: Give him a rifle and ask him to shoot it.
Q: What's the motto of the US Marine Corps? A: Semper Fi (always first)
Q: What's the motto of the French Army? A: Stop, drop, and run!
Q. Why don't Master Card and Visa work well in France A. They do not know how to say "CHARGE!"
What do you call a french man killed defending his country? ... I don't know either, its never happened!
Did you hear that the Post Office had to recall its series of stamps depicting famous Frenchmen? People were confused about which side to spit on.
During one of the namy wars that the French and the British fought and the French usually lost, the French just happened to capture a British Major. An officer brought the Major to the French general for interrogation. The French general began ridiculing the Major for wearing "that stupid red tunic." The French general said, "Why to you wear that red uniform, it makes it easy for us to shoot you." The British major replied, "If I do get wounded, the blood will not show, and my soldiers will not get scared." The French general said,"That is a very good idea," The Frenchy turned to his orderly and said, "From now on all French officers will wear brown pants."
Joke(s): "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." Jacques Chirac, President of France. "As far as France is concerned, you're right." Rush Limbaugh
"What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against DisneyWorld and Big Macs than the Nazis?" Dennis Miller
Q: What's the difference between a Frenchman and a catfish?
A: One is an ugly, scum sucking bottom-feeder and the other is a fish.
Q: What's the difference between a Frenchman and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline.
American to Frenchman: "Do you speak German?" Frenchman: "No." American: "You're Welcome!
The last time france asked for more evidence, it rolled over them in Panzer tanks carrying the Nazi flag.
What's the difference between 1943 and 2003? A. This time around, the Vichy government is telling the German puppets what to do.
Going to war without the French on your side is like going hunting without an accordian.
Q. How any French soldiers does it take to change a light bulb? A. Five
one to sit on his butt and watch and do nothing.
the second to turn tail and run.
the third to roll over.
the forth to surrender to the light bulb and snitch out occupied sconces.
and the fifth to pick up a phone and cry to the United States.
He was having sex with the chicken !!
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