The Hobbit Hole III - Journey to the Cross-roads!

Ok, this pet peeve has been building for quite a while- journalist/commentator-types who just *know* that they, and they alone, *know* that Tolkien and PJ wrote and produced an allegory for our modern geo-politics. Trying to superimpose their political correctness and liberal ideology on the story and make it mean something it was never meant to has just been IRKING me.

So in the spirit of illustrating absurdity with absurdity here we go (this has probably already been done):

The Democratically Elected Guardian of a Symbol of Male Domination and Greed

Theoden's Hall
THEODEN: I will not risk open war.
ARAGORN: You are right. We should try to understand why the orcs hate us so much. Saruman is a wizard of peace, after all. We must have done something to offend him.

Pippen gazes into the Palantir
GANDALF: What did you see?
PIPPEN: I saw a great firey eye. But it was crying.
GANDALF: Crying you say? I wonder why?
PIPPEN: His father abused him and his mother never loved him.
GANDALF: Aaaah, that explains why he wants to lash out at the world. We must not judge him too harshly.

Orcs around bonfire
Orc1: It's not fair... why do we get stuck with all the crap jobs? We aint get nothing to eat but moldy bread.
Orc2: Yeeeeeah, we's discriminated against.
Orc3: I say we unionize. Then the boss will have to listen to us. I have this friend up in Barad-dur who organized a strike...

On the Deeping Wall
ARAGORN to men: Show them mercy! The Uruk-hai are people, too. Try to reason with them and then call for help. Don't depend on your weapons for self-defense. Don't take the law into your own hands!

Entmoot
TREEBEARD: The Ents have just decided...
MERRY: Decided what?
TREEBEARD: That we will draft a treaty preserving the forests and regulating the air pollution over Isengard and ask Saruman, the wizard of peace, to sign it.
MERRY: What? That's it! What if he doesn't sign it?
TREEBEARD: *long thoughtful pause* Perhaps if Gandalf and Radaghast signed it first, they could persuade Saruman, the wizard of peace, to sign it too.
MERRY: *shakes his head* This is hopeless!

Arwen and Eowyn stroll along
EOWYN: I couldn't bear to live in a house dominated by men. I want to be free to live my life as I wish.
ARWEN: How strange. I, too, have these thoughts.
The two women gaze at each other with a sparkle in their eyes. Eowyn calls for her horse and the two women ride off into the wilds to live as lesbian lovers.

The Cracks of Doom
FRODO: Really, though. It is not right to steal it from its rightful owner.
GOLLUM: Yessss, stealing is badsss?
SAM: Yeah! We could always give it back. After all, if you don't mind me sayin' so, we came all this way. Lets just go over to the tower and give it back. We might get a reward.
FRODO: *eyes widen* A reward!
GOLLUM: Yesss! We likes rewards for being honest!

2,781 posted on 12/31/2002 4:25:38 PM PST by Lil'freeper

Yup Yup, I'll find the link.

2,782 posted on 12/31/2002 4:26:13 PM PST by Lil'freeper

Here we go: . Gemcraft's Annapolis The link is to a similar community- I don't want to share too much information about where I live on the open internet - but the floorplan is the same.

2,783 posted on 12/31/2002 4:30:41 PM PST by Lil'freeper

Studied the Hundred Years War, and have great respect for the longbow... though I can't recall a single battle where the full offensive potential was exploited in a "fire and manuever" mode... utterly devastating in the defense...

You're right of course... they should have been pouring it into the Uruks from the moment they got into range...

I carried a kukri as standard kit... while I have had a little experience in "up-close-and-personal scraps, I never had the chance to draw the kukri in anger... pistol or fairbane work, mostly...

an honor to serve, sir

2,784 posted on 12/31/2002 4:34:31 PM PST by g'nad

hardly a comparison... a throwing axe is far more manly than a bow, with a much shorter range...

2,785 posted on 12/31/2002 4:37:34 PM PST by g'nad

shorter...

Heh Heh Heh. Oh nevermind.

2,786 posted on 12/31/2002 4:44:24 PM PST by Lil'freeper

2,787 posted on 12/31/2002 4:46:19 PM PST by g'nad

To my friends in The Hobbit Hole, past, present and future, a most sincere Happy New Year to you all!

Auld Lang Syne

You can pay for your pint tankard
and I will pay for mine
We'll drink a toast of kind remembrance
For days now in the past

Best wishes to all of you for the upcoming year. I look forward to spending a good portion of it right here with my friends.

Until next year...Keep it secret, keep it safe.

God Bless Us Every One

2,788 posted on 12/31/2002 4:51:42 PM PST by Corin Stormhands

To: Corin Stormhands

you got it bro... God bless yuh... may your beard grow thicker, and may your tankard never be empty...

2,789 posted on 12/31/2002 4:53:28 PM PST by g'nad

To: Corin Stormhands; All

Thanks Corin and a very Joyous and Blessed New Year for you and yours!

This year brought me many new friends and for that I am so very grateful.

Prospero Ano Nuevo por todos aqui, en el Hobbit Hole. Muchos carinos y abrazos muy fuertes a todos, con un beso para suerte!

2,790 posted on 12/31/2002 5:01:12 PM PST by RMDupree

To: ksen; g'nad; osagebowman

I think our elf did some pretty good ginsu work in the film! In addition to the beautiful work with his bow, but who's keeping score eh?

2,791 posted on 12/31/2002 5:02:45 PM PST by HairOfTheDog

To: HairOfTheDog; All

I wanted to let you know that Glen is staying home, so I may not be able to simulchat.

If I do get a chance to get online, I'll pop into the chat room first and play catch up if I have to. :)

2,792 posted on 12/31/2002 5:03:34 PM PST by RMDupree

LOL! - You should go post that on my thread from this afternoon!

2,793 posted on 12/31/2002 5:05:52 PM PST by HairOfTheDog

To: Corin Stormhands

Why thank you Corin! - What a nice post!

Happy New Year to you, too!

2,794 posted on 12/31/2002 5:07:21 PM PST by HairOfTheDog

To: 2Jedismom; Bear_in_RoseBear; BibChr; carton253; Corin Stormhands; ecurbh; g'nad; ican'tbelieveit; ..

So who is up for the chat view tonight then?

2,795 posted on 12/31/2002 5:09:04 PM PST by HairOfTheDog

I don't want to share too much information about where I live on the open internet - but the floorplan is the same.

I understand, and WOWSERS what a house!! Which elevation have you chosen? I'm partial to 'C' but I've always been a 'porch' person. We don't have one where we are now, but our first little duplex had one, and we enjoyed sitting out there. I'm drawing plans for a 'Williamsburg Colonial' style which we'd love to build someday!

It is a lovely house; best of luck during construction!

2,796 posted on 12/31/2002 5:10:19 PM PST by SuziQ

Muchas gracias, RMD!

2,797 posted on 12/31/2002 5:11:28 PM PST by SuziQ

To: HairOfTheDog

I'll have to get SSQ to bring his laptop down to the den. Our big TV is in the basement, but I wanted to have a fire tonight, and sit around eat junk food, watch the movie and chat! I can't do all that unless we're watching it in the den!

2,798 posted on 12/31/2002 5:15:10 PM PST by SuziQ

To: HairOfTheDog

Well....we have company and we still have half an episode of Fawlty Towers to finish.

2,799 posted on 12/31/2002 5:17:36 PM PST by Overtaxed

We're actually going to pop in when the second half starts. We watched the first half the other night, and we won't be ready to set it up for awhile.

2,800 posted on 12/31/2002 5:21:38 PM PST by SuziQ

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