An alternative to today's BADJOE thread.
The Lounge is open!
An alternative to today's BADJOE thread.
The Lounge is open!
Well I have been duly CarolAThompson'ed. WHEW! That was good and invigorating. Think I'll go stick a broomstick up mah arse, take the edge off there. Ahhhhhhhhh... That woman is a smoking wonder to behold, I tell ya what.
(Take a stiff drink with you.)
While I smoke my pipe, how about an irish coffee to help wake me up and get me going?
And, for a little more humor...........
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The blonde at the bar.
A blonde was sitting at a bar drinking heavily..
A male notices that she has been drinking rather heavily. He decides to make his move.
He moves over to her and asks, "How many drinks does it take to make you dizzy?"
The blonde replies, "Seven. And the name is Daisy."
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The Next Reality TV Show
A movie producer was planning his next blockbuster--an action docudrama about famous composers.
So he set up a meeting with Sylvester Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Damme and Arnold Schwarzenegger and offered them a chance to select which famous musicians they'd portray.
"I've always admired Mozart," Stallone said. "I'd love to play him."
"Chopin has always been my favorite," said Van Damme. "That's the part for me."
The producer turned to Schwarzenegger. "And you, Arnold? Who do you want to be?"
There was a long silence, and then he replied, "I'll be Bach."
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FOR MEN TIRED OF RECEIVING MALE-BASHING JOKES
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
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I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months: I don't like to interrupt her.
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Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.
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Our last fight - my fault: Wife asked me "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!"
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
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Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
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Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
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A man inserted an advertisement in the classified "Wife Wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
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Have a nice weekend!