Posted on 07/31/2002 4:38:22 AM PDT by mlmr
Dear Mrs. Web,
My mother knows that I am sleeping with my boyfriend. She has told us that we cannot have sex at our house. We can't go to his house either because his grandmother won't let a girl up into his bedroom. This leaves public places as the only choice, which my mother says is fine with her.
I am however, worried about getting caught. I am aware that it is against the law, but this is the only chance we get. What would happen if we were caught by or reported to the police? Could we be charged with indecent behavior at such young ages (15 and 16)?
I have no idea what the law would do to two children who are caught ... well, ahem...caught. In Dear Mrs. Web's day you both would have been shipped off to bleak training schools to wear ghastly uniforms, eat saltpeter, and learn a useful trade.
Dear Mrs. Web has always believed that one has sex only when one has a ring, a marriage certificate and of course, the means to pay for a bedroom.
If your mother is advocating that you, her young daughter, have sex in the bushes, you have many more problems than finding a place to rut.
It sounds like you have not been taught about what sex really means and the commitments and responsibilities that go along with it. Your have not learned to respect your body and to treasure and protect it. You have not learned about how committed love turns sex into lovemaking and allows you to truly bond with your beloved. How sad! Dear Mrs. Web would certainly discuss these matters with your mother, in depth, in detail and vigorously.
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Dear Mrs. Web,
I am involved with my sister's ex-husband. We are in love and have bought a house together. How can our relationship be accepted by our families? I am worried about hurting my sister's feelings. We found out that it is legal to marry each other here. He has asked and I want to. I guess what I've been looking for is someone's blessing.
My sister left the marriage and I cannot help that things worked out this way. Is there any way I can overcome our family issues?
I don’t think there is a way around your sister’s feelings. I cannot imagine how you could make this better with your sister. Some do say that time heals all wounds. Dear Mrs Web is doubtful that this one will fix.
There are just some places you just don't go. Marrying the former spouses of family members is a place to avoid at all costs. That is too big and shatters family safety and loyalty. Those things are important, even for the family members who are messing up their lives. It is not prudent, normal, or wise to place this in the middle of your family.
Essentially, what you say here is that you want what you want. There is nothing more that I can add.
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Dear Mrs. Web,
My 55 year old sister has stopped speaking to my mother and me for almost 3 years now. She was a high-powered MBA who developed an immune-deficiency diseases. She no longer works
She has always been difficult and we were never close. I sent her husband flowers once after he had surgery. Since she was not speaking to me at the time, my mother told me about the surgery. My sister totally freaked out and said I was trying to show her up.
I have tried to convey my love and caring to my sister. My sister accused me of causing all her problems in life. Throughout our lives I have had little contact with her except at holidays. She was successful, talented, intelligent, and popular, went to a fantastic college....
I have a contented and smaller life with 4 sons and a sweet husband. I was a teacher and I loved my work. I have never been affluent or extremely popular. How can I have ever affected her life? I never have asked her for anything. She, on the other hand, was always mean to me even as a child. We know she was seeing a psychologist and told us the psychologist told her to break ties with us.
She stopped speaking to our recently widowed 80 year old mother right after she lost her husband. My mother is old and want to have a decent relationship with my sister. She has sent my sister cards and gifts and they have been all returned, not accepted. My mother is a wonderful, caring woman. For my mother's sake I would like my sister to connect with us. Any suggestions?
Why are you trying to tie strings with this emotionally toxic woman? She is a dry well and you sit there demanding water.
Yes, yes, I know, for your mother's sake.
If your mother hasn’t figured out that she has a toxic and unavailable daughter - she is just not seeing reality - as sad as the truth is for her. I am not trying to minimize your mother's heartbreak over her angry and blaming daughter. Instead, I am trying to break through the unrealistic expectations.
How to Hug a Porcupine is a book that teaches people to detach from the toxic people in their lives. It is on my website bookshelf. Read it and live a better life. A life that sees reality and does not demand the impossible.
Best,
Dear Mrs. Web
Forturnatly the culture is changing and the seventies dinosours and their get, like the ones that are on this thread, are dying off.
We are not needing to teach a lost generation whose parents dropped the moral ball. These who want a more traditional morality are young and searching.
I guess this thread is dead by now, but are you serious? Assuming they started at 15, that's more than 100 different partners a year, every year, for 15 years. Were your acquaintances porn stars or hookers? And did their husbands know they were #2001? Did they care?
In a word, sick.
They lose their hearts and souls.
I bought a book one time
titled How To Hug, but I
had to take it back. It was
the sixth volume in a set
of encyclopedia.
[Reposted from another thread]
Teaching kids such things wouldn't be so bad if they weren't so prone to forget a few key points:
LOL But it is a very good book!
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