More importantly, I don't think there is any reason to believe that sex out of wedlock is wrong. I think that an ideal life includes plenty of premarital sex. And I don't consider myself a hedonist, either. I think that people who marry as virgins have far more regrets on their deathbed than people who behave morally. Rules that may have been appropriate before condoms and penicilin and women in the work force are just outdated. [Reposted from another thread]
Teaching kids such things wouldn't be so bad if they weren't so prone to forget a few key points:
- Premarital pregnancy is NOT ACCEPTABLE.
- The fact that abortion is legal does not change #1.
- Penile-vaginal contact between fertile individuals creates a non-zero risk of pregancy, no matter what contraceptive methods are employed.
- Marriage between conception and childbirth may render the premarital pregnancy marginally acceptable, but see #9.
- One may only experience any form of intimacy "the first time", once.
- Having all of one's intimate "first times" with the same person makes them much sweeter in a manner that may only be appreciated by one who does so.
- Premature intimacy can and often will sabotage a relationship, just as building the walls of a building will doom the project if done before the foundation is secure.
- If one becomes accustomed to the "quick payoff" offered by short-term intimate relationships, it will become very hard to wait out the non-intimate parts which are necessary at the start of a real one.
- One is unlikely to know at 16 the identity of the person with whom one is really going to want to spend the rest of one's days.
Taken as a whole, these principles do not totally rule out premarital intimacy. My wife and I started sharing a bed after we got engaged but had she gotten pregnant before we were married I would have been 100% certain it wasn't by me. As to whether others would be able to share a bed for three months without engaging in penile-vaginal intercourse, I'm sure some would and some wouldn't. My late wife and I thought we could and we did. I would not, however, expect a typical pair of 17-year-olds to be able to do likewise.
You write words of true wisdom, sir.