The Guild 7-24-2002 Dog and Cat's Daily Diary

[BigWaveBetty]

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY

Day 180

8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!

10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

12:00 am - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!

4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Day 181

8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!

10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!

4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Day 182

8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!

10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!

1:30 pm - ooooooo. bath. bummer.

4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from occasionally ruining a piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair; must try this on their bed.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was .....Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however, it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the aroma of some of their favorite foods. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

This dog looks like my very first dog that I got when I was 2 years old. Her name was Doobs and she was a cockapoo. She was majorly cool and could bounce and balance a big ball on her nose like a trained seal.

Doobs was cool.

[daisyscarlett]

Thanks for your excellent summary of Halle Berry. You are right on....

[daisyscarlett]

This is GIZMO-(please don't tell him I called him Grady, lol). What a sweetie....

[BigWaveBetty]

Wow HLL I had already blocked that horrible Halle Oscar diatribe from my memory. You're absolutely right, (as usual) it's all about Halle. Is it any wonder her husband has to go else where to get attention? Not that I'm excusing it mind you, just probably can't get Hollyweird people to waste time on something as trivial as a marriage.

Daisyscarlett I love those wrinkly doggies, what are they called? Is GIZMO your dog or dutchess's, I'm confused. But not as confused as algore! :-) Gizmo is a real cutie pie!

HLL a good friend of mine has a cockapoo and loves him to death. He loves to take rides in her bike basket. How cute yours could balance a ball on his nose!

I didn't get a dog until I was 15 but we had cats and a rabbit. The rabbit's name was Russ, he was a Checkered Giant. We liked to play softball, I'd hit the ball and he'd chase it. I'd hold him like a baby and feed him carrots. I loved Russ.

This looks just like him.

[BigWaveBetty]

Thanks for all the great suggestions. Now why can't my little pea pickin' brain come up with these things?

Pool puds are almost finished with the deck!!!!!!!! (I'm so excited!) Hope they finish soon, their taste in music sucks. Some sorta rap crap with a bunch of M* F*in' going on.

I know what you're thinking, but don't want to make them unhappy just want them to finish, so I put the headphones on and crank it up. ;-) They are doing a nice job. yea!

[BigWaveBetty]

Good to see you dr.j's! Yeah, being a softie can be a problem. :-) But here's a tip for the plant eating, Perfect Paws. I was going to tell you to put some sort of hot pepper on the plant and thought I'd look it up to make sure that's ok to do with cats. This site says to do that and some other good ideas. Good luck!

[lodwick]

Great back yard news. I can put up with just about anything if the job is properly done - the workers are temporary, their work is forever.

Interesting perfectpaws link. Thanks. To keep the deer from eating our caladium leaves, I sprinkle the perimeter of our property with cayanne pepper - apropo of nothing, unless someone here has a pet deer. ;-)

[Iowa Granny]

Crumpled alluminum foil around the base of plants will prevent the Kittys from using your pots for litter. I don't know if they will stretch their necks over the stuff to eat your plants or not.

The gardens were needing a cut back anyway, right?

[mountaineer]

As I recall, you can keep deer or some sort of critter out of a garden by shredding a bar of Irish Spring soap and scattering it about.

[dutchess]

What a surprise. Just came back from lunch, popped in and here's my precious pup. Thanks for posting it. Have another meeting but will be back soon. Gizmo says "free licks" to all (ofcourse on the face only!)

[Carolina]

He, he, he. Looks like you've taken on the L'Enfant Terrible of the Clymerman threads.

[mountaineer]

I've mentioned before how my dearly departed Scottie looked just like Barney Bush (except mine was female). She also was just as "mischievous" (that's a Scottie euphemism for misbehaving) as the Barnmeister.

[mountaineer]

Just a tad fanatical, isn't she? Ah, the passion of youth.

Hey, look, here's Martha Stewart hoping no one will notice her if she wears her Tipper Gore disguise:

[Vic3O3]

I love this pic! I understand it is from Police Dog graduation at Scotland Yard, and the cat belongs to the dog training academy. My favorite dogs are the ones just about to 'break' and charge the cat!

[Carolina]

The resemblance is uncanny.

[lodwick]

One of my bil's has a Scottie, and I'm always amazed how fast those stumpy little legs can propel her, and yes, she's a scamp also - must be a Scottie thing. ;-)

[Teacup]

HALLE Berry tried to kill her Shih Tzus? Gosh, I hope she doesn't have any Shih Tzus with her now. No marital problems are worth killing a Shih Tzu, IMHO. What a nut case!

Hi everyone. I just got back from the park. The park has a real nice swimming pool. Maybe if it doesn't rain tomorrow, I can take the grandkids swimming.

[Teacup]

HA! HA! HA! That picture of Al Bore is hystrical! I swear, that shirt is made out of curtian fabic. Reminds me of that picture of Carol Burnette.

[McLynnan]

Thanks for telling me the source of the picture. I know it's floated around the web for quite a while and I always thought it was priceless. I can almost feel the tension in a few of the dogs as they try to restrain themselves!