here is a story for you men -- My cousin's wife walked out on him and their three children (and one was an infant). Harry, my cousin, raised the kids -- you know the bathing, soothing, helping, disciplining, etc. for many years. Then the ex-wife takes Harry to court suing for legal custody (and child support). She claimed she could be a better mom since she did not work. She wanted to be there for her children. The judge listened to the case and made a decision. He decided to give the kids to the mom but since they lived close, he told the mom that she would have to give Harry the kids when he got off work and pick them up before he went to work and Harry would get the kids on the weekends. AND NO CHILD SUPPORT. This way both parents would win - she would take of the kids during the day and get to know them and Harry would not have to pay for a babysitter. She refused the deal. Harry got the kids (which is what he wanted) and never saw or heard from her again.
The judge was a woman.
Good for your cousin and good for that judge. Hate to say it, but 'good judgment' is in very short supply these days...especially in the courts! I am sorry he had to go through all that, it's a nightmare.
P.S. I'm a gal.