[Argh]

Hiya, Tex, Joe. I hope you're both well.

Miss Whyisa's post number 67 in class today put me in mind of two old jokes, but M&M and Max, don't complain to me, send your complaints to Dick Gephardt, who looked so apoplectic this morning

that I think one complaint would do him in.

Have you heard about the 3 types of sex during the life of a relationship? There's Everywhere sex, when you first start up you're so passionate, having sex madly in the kitchen, bedroom, under the dining room table, in the park, on top of the TV, at the graveyard, etc. Then there's Bedroom sex, when, after your ardour has cooled, you only do it in bed. Eventually it devolves into Hall sex : everytime you pass each other in the hall you yell "F*** YOU!"

Four kinds of orgasm (should really be told by a woman to a man):

1. Positive: "Oh yes, oh yes!"
2. Negative: "Oh no, oh no!"
3. Religious: "Oh my God, oh my God!"
4. Fake: "Oh Argh, oh Argh!"

[CholeraJoe]

And the three types of sex during pregnancy:

First trimester - missionary style
Second trimester - doggy style
Third trimester - coyote style (you sit beside the hole and howl)

[Argh]

4. Fake: "Oh Argh, oh Argh!"

For the Democrats among us, remember to insert the proper name of the person you're addressing here, as in "Oh Rick, oh Rick!" or George or Suzy or Jane or Heironymous or whoever you're talking to. Duh.

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

Those are great jokes, really.....but how in God's name did my reference to an extended digit of the hand remind you of those jokes?.....Oh, nevermind.......... lol

[Texan5]

ROFLMAO! Shame on you, Argh-how are you by the way? I didn't see "Dick" this morning, but he certainly looks apoplectic in that picture. Why were his shorts in a wad this time?

[Just another Joe]

How to be politically correct with women

She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE - She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT.

She is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.

She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY - She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.

She is not CONCEITED - She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.

She does not GAIN WEIGHT - She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.

She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.

She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

She is not TOO SKINNY - She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT.

She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE - She is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE.

She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS - She is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT.

She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE. She does not GO SHOPPING - She is MALL FLUENT.

She is not an AIR HEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

She does not get FAT or CHUBBY - She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY.

She is not COLD or FRIGID - She is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE.

She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - She has reached COSMETIC SATURATION.

She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE

[TruthShallSetYouFree]

My neighbor discovered her dog could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian. He found the problem was hair in its ears, so he cleaned both ears and the dog could hear fine. The vet told her if she wanted to keep this from reccurring, she should go to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub in its ears once a month.
The lady goes to the drug store and gets some "Nair" hair remover. At the register, the druggist tells her,
"If you're going to use this under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days."
The lady says "I'm not using it under my arms."
The druggist says, "If you're using it on your legs, don't shave for a couple of days."
The lady says "I'm not using it on my legs either, and if you must know I'm using it on my schnauzer."
The druggist says, "Stay off your bicycle for a week."

[EODGUY]

Great jokes, Argh. I'm going to get a lot of mileage out of the first one....almost had to give myself the Heimlic (sp) maneuver.

Greetings Joe. Bought gas today and noticed that cigarette prices are hitting the ceiling. I don't think it will be long before cigarettes are more expensive than heroin.

EODGUY

[.30Carbine]

#85 - Very cute, Argh!

I'm catching up on my pings and such after a few day's hiatus from this place.

I miss the old days when I had all sortsa time to FReep.

(Still making time to FRolic as a newlywed, though!)