Welcome Friends, foes and associates to the completely remodeled Free Republic...
Smoker's Lounge
Posted on 04/26/2002 9:52:52 AM PDT by Just another Joe
Welcome Friends, foes and associates to the completely remodeled Free Republic...
Smoker's Lounge
Here you will find a comfy place to smoke, drink, joke or whatever. We always have a great time, so sit back, relax and...
Test your mental clarity by seeing if you can figure out what is wrong with this picture
Hint: It's not the curtains (or lack of).
It may take several minutes of close scrutiny... make sure you have your sound on, that will help.
aaaDOC - Loved that fish funeral joke!
Joe - business ain't that good, but I sure have been working a lot
I should just join the party... huh?
Sorry, I don't always have time to get in here.... How 'bout a Fat Tire?.... or six?.... and a pack of Marlboro Lights?
Here ya go.
* Love means never having to say, "Does that twenty include the spanking?"
* To truly love another, you must first love yourself. And it wouldn't kill you to wash your hands in between either.
* They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient. But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
* We cannot see the future. We cannot change the past. We can only live in the now with an eye towards gaining enough power in the future to wreck revenge on everyone who ever screwed us in the past.
* If Life hands you lemons today, smile and give thanks. Then when Life isn't looking, give him a quick knee to the groin. That'll learn him.
* Dreaming frees the soul, energizes the spirit and allows you to do things that would get your ass thrown in jail if you really tried them.
.
Good night, everyone.
JaJ
CHINESE PROVERBS
Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
Panties not best thing on earth! but next to best thing on earth.
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
----------------------------------------------------
And one final joke for the weekend:
The Apology
Monica goes to Bill Clinton's home in New York. She rings the bell, and the former President answers.
He is almost in shock at seeing Monica.
Monica says, "Mr. President. I want you to know how sorry I am for the trouble I got you into. I meant no harm, but those darn Vast Right Wing Conspiracy members just wanted to do you in and used me as the means. I am truly sorry, and want to apologize. Please forgive me. And, as a token of my sincerity, here are roses to put on your piano."
She hands the ex-President a bouquet of red roses.
Bill Clinton takes them and says, "Thank you. But Monica, surely you know I prefer tulips on my organ."
(snicker)
See, this reply is already a day late and already I have got to take a shower and head out to a bar to meet some friends and watch the Red Wings.
Now that's saying something.
I am sorry my friend. I am guilty as charged! I promise to contribute as much ridiculous content as necessary, in the future.
No sarcasm intended.
After all...I'm Focault.
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